Stoopid Quepid

I people watch. Sometimes I do it to the point of rudeness. I will sit in the food court of a crowded mall and slowly eat a bag of potato chips while I watch hundreds of people walk by me. Somedays I have good thought. Some days I have not so good thoughts. Then there are days like today, when I have the worst thoughts of all. Take for instance this situation...

A guy walked into my white trash mart barely half dressed. He had his shorts hanging down to his mid thigh and he was wearing some khaki colored hanes or fruit of the looms at his waist. He came in bare chested and covered with "white-boy-gangsta" tatts (one predominantly arched over his torso above his belly button) and he hadn't washed his hair in probably a few days. I was instantly in love! What can I say...I have a thing for durty white boys with thuggish tatts... and in my daze and wonder, I wondered what I would say to him as he approached me and asked for a book of matches. I looked at him confused for a second and mumbled..."nah man, we're outta matches"...and he turned out and walked out the door. It was then I saw his unique obvious flaw...I mean besides all of the other flaws...he turned around and his underwear had a big old hole in the left buttcheak. Gross! I thought "what kind of person goes around with holes in his underwear....exposed?" As if showing up in my store half naked wasn't proof of his lack of ettiquette. I am a dope.

But I notice these things. I noticed when I started working at this job that 1) I was probably going to be too stuck up to associate with any of the other associates; 2) the woman named Susan that first watched me walk in the door has a mustache thicker than some of the men I have dated; and 3) there is NO way that I am going to be as open about myself in this environment. One little slip of the lisp and I will be working graveyards for the rest of my life.

It's all temporary I guess. It is definitely incentive for me to look for something that I know I am qualified for and that I deserve. Maybe I should work in a mall as a security guard haha...

But back to the subject of people watching...sometimes I think weird things. I will be walking somewhere and see a really homely looking guy and I will think "he must watch a lot of internet porn." Then I think to myself "I watch a lot of internet porn, am I homely" haha! Then I see beautiful men and I wonder "can he (they) even see me?" And I never stop to wonder if they are thinking that they are invisible too. It's amazing though...flying under the radar of visibility. Today a group of bears walked into my store and not a one of them batted an eye at me. Probably because I was at work and somehow society dictates that only straight people can flirt with other straight people in public. Then, as they were walking out the door, they all fixed eyes on this beautiful man with a cap and tight jeans. And I mean, he was beautiful...and they all took notice. So much so that they stopped him and had a lengthy conversation with him. Country Thunder will be in town this weekend. Country Thunder is a big country music festival for those of you who are wondering...Call it Lalapalozza meets country music...ANyway, it's drwing out some real hotties and very goodlooking bearish men...Maybe someone will talk to me like that someday...haha

I am in love with men...boys...guys...they all just get me going! lately it seems to be Emo boys that do it in a different way. I used to see some of them in their sisy habitat and wonder..."why, why would wear such tiny pants?" But now I look at them and see how boyish and enticing they can be. I so don't mean to imply boyish in the term the pedophiliacs would associate. To me...a man can still be very boyish and incredibly sexy. But they are definitely out of my reach. All of their piercings, tattoos and wild hairstyles send me to the ends of the moon. I wonder wear that environment or social crowd was when I was a punk kid bashing his way through straight society? I came into an age that was still very new when accepting gays and lesbians was concerned. The LGBT communityhas made so many strides for many decades, but even in the early 90's it wasn't as common to find young out and about gay boys willing to admit to their true sexuality. Unless you were like me and you didn't give a fuck!

Switching the subject, I was concerned about my sisters dogs barking in the backyard earlier this evening so I went to investigate. I ran out to the backyard and noticed two of the dogs "stuck" together. Immediately I thought..."great, they mother and son...their offspring are going to two heads or three feet!" I couldn't bring myself to stop staring. I was grossed out and I was shaking my finger at the male dog. I told him that he shouldn't go around humping things when he knows that he will get his dick stuck in them. He looked up at me like..."dude, she's pullin me around...help!" And for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to get them unstuck. I wonder if cold water works the same way for dogs like it does with men? I will never know of course because I left them out in the backyard to figure out their own primal nature. Hell, their kind has probably been doing it far longer than my kind...that's for sure.

I guess the moral here is to keep your eyes open and observe the world you inhabit. Somedays you never know how many people you'll pass and wonder "how much internet porn do they watch" or "why is he/she running around bare as can be with holey underwear" or "I really should get my dog(s) fixed!" One day you will wake up on the other side of a convenience store counter asking people if they would like to buy ice or lottery tickets with their purchases. And that day you wake up...someone is going to be thinking the same thing that you thought about convenience store workers..."God, the people that work here are such low class people..." and I'll be standing on the other side of the counter wondering why I couldn't apply myself harder.

Peace!

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• #1 Comment from cubbycub 
  4/17/08 4:26 PM | Permalink

  Ok, I am just going to ask, was his ass hairy?  Did the dog's ever come unstuck?