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12:50:00 PM EDT
This Morning
Today the world is looking a little bit different for my family and me. We have to take what has happened, and channel it all the most positive way we know how.
Pop got some bad news yesterday. Basically, the cancer is out of control now. It didn't really come as a surprise, but bad news always hits you hard no matter how well you were prepared or how much the news was expected. His daughters took the news especially hard because they are fairly optimistic about life in general, and sometimes it's hard to reckon with the inevitable.
The next move is to get him up to see his oncologist tomorrow morning. There obviously will be no more call for his services, as we are looking at this situation in terms of the best palliative care possible. A cure is no longer an option, nor is remission. The goal here now is to make him as comfortable as possible for whatever time he might have left.
I'm thankful, though, that there will be an opportunity to assist in this comfort. I'm sure anyone who has been involved in the home care of a terminally ill patient would be able to tell you that it can be draining, both emotionally and physically, and there certainly have been times when I have not been at my best, nor at my most charitable 100% of the time. I've had moments of impatience with him, in that he often was his own worst enemy when it came to his care. He would get the advice from some of the best in the business, and completely disregard it. He would then impose on those people to make it all better for him, despite his actions. And even with the professional training they've had, they sometimes found it difficult to remain patient and understanding with him.
In other words, there is a chance to let this story come to its inevitable conclusion, but with a happier ending. And for that I am grateful. I've had my eyes reopened, I've had my attitude adjusted, and we are going to forge ahead and give Pop the best that is available to him for the duration of his life. I love my children more every day for their resilience. It's often forgotten how disrupted their lives have been through the past 9 or 10 months. They've stepped up and done the job. It's even more remarkable to think how well they did when you consider their young ages. Again, something to be grateful for.
We no longer have the prospect of some miracle cure. The miracle in this case will be in how little the man suffers until his days on earth come to an end. I believe that we must be the miracle workers who provide that peace and comfort because it's all we can do.
Thank you all very much for the kindness and support that has come our way throughout this ordeal. Maybe, if you have a minute, you could ask for some assistance and strength to come our way because we're realistic and know that there are some tough decisions to be made in the near term.
I'll keep you all posted.
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I know it all works for good. But its so difficult when you are in the middle of the situation.
My mother was still in recovery at the hospital when she deceided to share info she knew would upset me. They can be mean when sickness happens to them.
I am so proud of you. I am working on not being angry when people are so mean. I dont give them the illness I am just trying to make things better or just show up to show I care.
Teresa -
Truly sorry for your Pop, sending warm thoughts to you & your family. I wish you all comfort during this most difficult time.
Lisa -
Jimmy wishing you all the best at this time. Hopefully Pop won't suffer.
Sharon
http://journals.aol.com/tpiez4me/CoastalComfort/ -
Will Pop's passing, I know you're kicking yourself in the ass and remembering each and every one of those times you were short or inconsiderate. You have to put that aside. You're human and you can't go through life without a show of emotion. Even the best of us get that way. Rather than think of that, think of the extra time you two spent watching the Yanks and other sports. Think of the discussions about life you wouldn't have had if you hadn't been together as you have, or the time he spent with your children because of your living situation. Be glad you had time for him, and take care of yourself.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay
7/4/08 3:35 AM
gosh how could I have missed this one....
Sending prayers and many hugs,
Lisa