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Subject: Summer Movie Awards Part I
Time: 6:27:00 PM EDT
Author: summermovieblog
Each summer, we the moviegoing people of America are confronted with a plethora -- yes, El Guapo, a plethora -- of films competeting for our critical and financial validation. Some of these movies boast behemoth budgets, larger-than-life stars and lots of action, while others cost practically nothing to make but leave us wishing the blockbusters were one-tenth as good. I believe that there is good -- and bad -- to be found in both kinds of films and that is why I've decided to dedicate the remainder of this week's blog posts to honoring the awesome, the crappy, the big, the small, the studio and the indie films that have made this summer one to remember. The Academy has the Oscars, 'The Office' has the Dundies and I -- I have what shall heretofore be known as the Tommys. That name is now trademarked, so all who try to use it for their own material gain shall incur the wrath of my legal expertise. And the first Tommy goes to ...
Best Use of an Expletive: Ryan Gosling, 'Half Nelson'
There's something about a grade-school teacher rolling down the window of his car, leaning his head out and nonchalantly calling one of his female students a bitch that is just so wrong -- and so right.
M. Night Shyamalan Award for Best Twist Ending: 'The Break-Up'
Did you see any evidence of a depressing arthouse ending anywhere in the promotional campaign for Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston's romantic "comedy" hit? Neither did I.
Movie Most in Need of a Twist Ending: 'Lady in the Water'
Despite a little thing called hubris that pretty much every single one of theGreek tragedies calls out as a big no-no, M. Night Shyamalan went ahead and cast himself as a writer whose scribblings will change the world. AND, on top of that, he forsook the device that made him famous in the first place: the twist ending. As a result, 'Lady' floundered at the box office.
Best Idea for an Alternate Ending: 'The Lake House,' as told to me by Nick
Keanu Reeves, who's living in 2004, folds himself up, squeezes into the magic mailbox he's been using to communicate with Sandra Bullock, who's living in 2006, and mails himself to the future. Keanu and Sandra live happily ever after. Honestly, makes about as much sense as the movie.
Come back tomorrow for the SUMMER MOVIE AWARDS PART II!
POST: Do you agree with these awards?
POST: Which awards would you like to see me give?
Top 11 Lessons We Learned From Movies This Summer
Tags: Summer Movies
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I would like to see the following awards given in future Tommys:
The Dennis Quaid Award for Worst BioPic Since "Great Balls of Fire"
The Stratton Leopold Award for Producing the Worst Big-Budget Sequel Since "MI3"
The Jessica Alba Award for Great Ass/No Talent
The Jessica Simpson Industrial Strength Irritant Award
The Winona Ryder Gone and Forgotten Award
The Richard Gere How Many Times Can You Play the Same Role Award
The Sharon Stone Industrial Strength Irritant Award: The Sequel
The Sofia Coppola Nepotism Award
The Samuel L. Jackson How Many Times Can You Play the Same Role Award: The Sequel
The Heath Ledger Most Surprising Straight Star in a Gay Role Award
The Sarah Jessica Parker Award for Ugly
The Kevin Spacey Most Surprising Gay Star in A Straight Role Award
The Clint Eastwood How Many Times Can You Play the Same Role As Yourself Award
The Robert Redford Award for Refusing to Retire
The Jack Nicholson Award for Simply Being Jack Nicholson or Someone Like Him
The Al Pacino Award for Thinking You're A Bigger Star than Robert DeNiro
The Beverly DeAngelo Award for Marrying Upward
The Glenn Close Scariest Bitch Award
The Hugh Grant How Many Times Can You Play the Same Role Award: Part III
The John Cusack How Does He Still Get Work? Award
Submitted by Murray Silver,
Author "Great Balls of Fire: The Uncensored Story of Jerry Lee Lewis" and
"When Elvis Meets the Dalai Lama -
SUPERMAN RETURNS was an amazing film that didn't get enough time to be Number 1 because of a silly Disney movie with popular actors in it. Yes, Superman is comic book fiction, but PIRATES was completely childishly stupid. I have no idea how it made so much money.
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I loved "Lady in the Water" as well, but the impresion I got was that people either loved it and thought it was beautiful or didn't get it and thought it was dumb. Doesn't appeal to everyone, but to those who it does it was beautiful.
Oh, and I actually didn't find out that the writer was played by the director until after I'd seen the movie. Which is a bit funny since while watching the movie, I thought "oh, I like them casting that person, he seemed good for the roll", while if I'd known who he was, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed the performance as much. -
M. Night Shyamalyn is victim to poor promotion. Look at any trailer hyping his next flick and you will see it is promoted as the wrong genre. Signs is sci-fi film about ET's invading earth... nope. Lady in the water is about scary creatures in the water gore fest... nope. In the future when you watch a Shyamalyn preview say to yourself,"Well... its not about that." In our DVD movie synopsis world that tells you too much about the movie before you even buy your popcorn, Night's tell you too little... and I am glad.
As a side note, a couple of days ago I finally learned to say his last name correctly.
9/4/06 1:14 PM
Another award this movie could be nominated for is "Movie to rip off the most Star Wars plots" We litterally see Will Turner morph into Will Skywalker in Dead Man's Chest. His main plot was finding his father and then deciding to save him from the clutches of the evil emperor...pardon me, Davy Jones (sound familiar?) When you throw in the the Luke-Leia-Hans...excuse me the Will-Liz-Jack half baked love triangle and the ending that left us wondering how Jack (Hans, via Empire Strikes Back) will be brought back in the third installment, you have to wonder why George Lucas hasn't filed a copywriting infringment suit yet. Then there is the cannable island where the "Will-Jack tied to poles and a group of people in a hanging cage/net" is suspiciously like scenes on the Ewok world in Return of the Jedi.
I half expect the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie to feature Storm Troopers, Ewoks, light saber battles and a hair brained plot about Will and Lizzy really being brother and sister.