The First Child of Sundrip Journals (AOL Hometown hosting)

Have you ever been so afraid in your life? Right now I'm not just afraid but I'm sad too. the thing is, it just hit me why. I am in the beginning of my cycle which for me means the symptoms of PMDD are just starting. so the thought of how the next 2 weeks will go scares me to death and the way I feel now, very teary eyes, very sad, is just the beginning of the war with myself. I could sit here and cry for no reason at all. I have nothing to point out as being a big issue with me right now, nothing that would make me feel this sad and like I could just weep without ceasing, nothing but the beginning of my private war that falls under the harmone imbalance offender of PMDD. Its crazy really, how emotional I can get. I didnt notice it right off I guess but the signs were there, things like me wanting to throw stuff at the TV for no reason. Or moments of rage that flashed and were gone as quickly as they came. I think the worst part of PMDD is the lack of control. but much like DID there is a level of emberassment. When I come back I have to face all that I've done when I was in my time of insanity. And looking at all that uglyness just makes me want to crall under a rock and die.

Maureen, I'm 19 and part of Morton's Pride. Morton, please help me. I am so scared. I know that Adam will come and wisk me away and take me back to where all things are calm and quiet, but what about the other people left in the front where all this stuff is happening? Even if I am not forward there will be someone there that is feeling what I am feeling. I may be in the back in the quiet and peace but the body will still be off balance and someone will still be calling out for someone to take them to the calm and the quiet. Its the body that needs help, not just me and the people that reside in it. The body needs help and I dont know how to help it. Do you Morton, know how to help it?

no. but I can tell you that I wont give up on us

I know, you never do

never will

but let me take you back because this is too much for you

for both of us,

yes, but for you. so lay your head down and go to sleep.

what about the others

they will have thier time, it will come but right now, this is you. you need to come with me.

okay

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this