The First Child of Sundrip Journals (AOL Hometown hosting)

I wasn’t supposed to Live

A stone house with a picket fence, throwing off grenades and launching land mines

Its flashing, everything is flashing as I crawled through the barbed wire and left pieces they thought I couldn’t live without.

I swam through rivers with the water circling, swirling with purpose to pull me under

But I made it to the shore holding a tree limb not suppose to be there

But the wind was so strong it carried it along.

I crossed that dessert with no protection from the sun.

With cracked, blood red lips and a thick, dry tongue.

I keep moving. I just keep moving

Determined to meet the next challenge and squash that one

But, my flesh is tight, colour drained like my strength, spilling onto a brick floor

That collected the blood of the determined ones dragged there before

I use to say I’d find a dry peace of sand in a heap of mud

I’d walk across water if innerpeace were on the other side.

I use to say I could do anything, but the truth is now here.

I’m tired. I need help. I need a listening ear.

It’s been a long time, this silence.

This silence with mistrust like a room full of hate filled people.

The hate so strong I can’t breath but doesn’t snuff out that in the morning

Early at the shore, where the water comes and goes,

I have to search for the dry piece of sand

At the bank, at the corner of the sea

I know I’m not able to stop searching.

But I'm tired. And I hope you will be right next to me.

Giving breath when mine leaves

I hope the waves coat your words just right, so I know I’ve got someone on my side. 

Walking through shreds of glass is not too much to ask if you promise my sleep will be free.

Freedom that guarantees Mama won’t be there suffocating, strangling,

And through fear controlling me

Mommy don’t hurt me.

I use to say I’d walk across fire, across coal, across jagged stones and come off victorious on my own.

I use to say I could do anything, but the truth is now here.

I’m tired. I need help. I need a listening ear.

Someone lay beside me.

Someone tell me I’ll be okay.

Someone make it stop when I dream while I’m awake.

I use to say I'd slay dragons.

I'd fight everything that came.

I’d curse every wind and hold lighting in my arms.

I’d dance when there was no music, change the colours when black seemed to be the dominant theme.

But I’m tired now. I need a little help through the wire, through the mud and the wind,

The jagged stones, the colour scheme all the while holding hostile lighting.

I use to say I could do anything, but the truth is now here.

I’m tired now. I need a little help now. Can you hear me now?

 April 9, 2002  by Destiny of Morton's Pride

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this