Cindy's Silly Life

10:45:08 AM EDT
Feeling Happy

I can't believe it has been almost 2 months since I last wrote an entry.  This past year has been weird, I haven't felt like writing much at all, and right now AOL is being real stupid and I can't even get into my journal.  I have to use IE to get into it, and to few others journals. 

So what has been going on with me??  Well let's see Joe just started a new job 2 weeks ago, a better job more money and less hard labor.  His last job was just becoming too much for him, they were treating him like crap and he felt he was working his butt off for nothing. 

He seems to like his new job, driving trucks is his passion and finally he is doing it so he is happy.  Only thing that sucks is he is away more with this job, he is home every weekend but it does get lonely during the week when he is gone. 

Right now he is on 90 days probation and after that is over I will be able to go with him on his trips :)   I can't wait for that, it should be fun I am bringing my camera so I can take tons of pictures, oh the best part is Denver gets to go with us too!!!

Speaking of Denver he turned 1 in September, my puppy isn't a puppy anymore, he is now 7 years old in doggy years!!  Let me tell you  I am so happy I we got a big dog, because I wouldn't be able to stay in the house by myself while Joe is away.  With Denver around I feel so safe, not like I live in a bad area or anything but still I do get scared being alone. 

My birthday was 2 weeks ago October 3rd, and I turned 26.  I didn't do anything at all for my b-day since it was Joe's first day at the new job and he was in Ohio.  I got a ton of cards from family and friends and my niece and nephew got me balloons.  Other than that I just hung out at home and watched TV, nothing special.  Oh yeah and my mom got me my favortie movie which came out for the first time on DVD ON my b-day, The Little Mermaid so I was a happy camper. 

Well other than that not much going on, I am trying to plan our wedding which seems like it is going nowhere.  On the 29th my girls and I are going to look for their dresses, I really hope we are able to find the color I want and at a reasonable price.  Most people think I am crazy with the colors I want, which is brown but my flowers are sunflower and I think if I went with yellow it would just be too much.  I think brown would look great with the sunflowers, and I don't care if it isn't a 'spring' color.  I keep saying it is MY wedding and it will be how I want it!!!

Well that is all for now, maybe I will update next time sooner than 2 months but you never know. 

Until Later

Cindy

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:46:09 PM EDT
Feeling Silly

Since I am not working and we can use the extra money, I am not baby-sitting for my sister.  Monday- Friday 9am to 3pm I watch my 3 year old nephew Aidan, boy is he a handful. 

It has been fun spending time with him, I am tired of watching Elf and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I think we watched Elf 4 times this week and Charlie 6 times, something like that.  Even though he really doesn't sit down and watch TV, he plays and bugs me the whole time...lol. 

Most of the time we are playing with his blocks or his cars. Today he spent most of the time sitting right by my feet next to the sliding glass door that was open playing with his cars and yelling at Denver.  He loves Denver, and he loves to torture Denver, but they are really good together, today that were playing school together...lol.  Don't ask!

Since I am the youngest out of 6 of us including my step-sis and bro, I have been around kids since I was 11 years old.  Started babysitting at 13 so I am used to kids.  But I do have to admit it has been 5 years since I dealt with a toddler, and the terrible 3's.  Ughhhh he drives me up the wall. 

When he really wants something or wants to do something and it isn't a good thing for him to do and I tell him no he continuosly says please please please.  I am learning to ignore him, and that seems to be working he eventually stops. 

He is at a stage that he doesn't want to learn how to do anything, he wants us to do EVERYTHING for him.  He won't try to put his own clothes on, when he goes potty he KNOWS how to pull his pants up and down but STILL asks me to do it.  Oh and he is such a man, always asking me to get his milk and bring it to him, but I won't I make him drink it in the kitchen.  Because I had a blue juice stain on my carpet, and I wasn't too thrilled. 

I took him for a walk around my complex, talking to him the whole time trying to get him interested in the animals he sees.  We talk about cars, trees, he is always asking me what things are.  We watch Animal Planet and Discovery Kids and sometimes even Discovery is something good is on.  

He is a smart kid and doesn't forget a thing, he may drive me crazy and will probably turn my hair gray at a young age.  But, I love him he is my lil buddy and I am so happy I am able to spend a lot of time with him. 

Hope you enjoyed my babling about Aidan....

Cindy

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:40:03 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful

So yeah it has been a while, not that anyone has noticed.  I have been keeping up on my alerts but that is all, no commenting...no nothing. 

I have been busy, wedding plans are underway, I got my beautiful dress (more on that), I know what flowers I want, where it will be, general idea for bridemaids dresses, food and much more. 

Not everything is in stone yet, only things really are my dress, location and the date.  Speaking of 'the dress', we went and looked at for my dress.  'We' meaning my mom, step-mom, sister, niece and nephew, Joe hasn't and will not see the dress so if you want to see it just comment or e-mail me.  I won't be putting it in here.  Since the day Joe asked me to marry him I have been looking at dresses online, at the store and in magazines.  I found one at David's Bridal, online, and it was the one I knew I wanted.  Ya know the dress you have dreamt about since you were a little girl. 

So we went to David's Bridal and they had it, the girl didn't even ask my size, I just told her the dress I wanted and she went and got it.  I had to have my sister help with the corset and slip, yeah that was fun I was sweaty and we were both cracking up.  The dress wouldn't fit me, I thought it was too small.  So I took it off we were getting ready to get a different size when I noticed the zipper wasn't done all of the way.  So I put it back on and it fit perfectly, and when I say perfectly I mean it doesn't need to be hemmed or taking in at all.   It fits like a gem. 

It was the only dress I tried on,  I knew it was the one and I didn't care what anyone else thought.  Even though everyone else loved it, they all cried.  I found a beautiful vail and I am thinking about a tiara but not too certain about that.  I know that my niece wants one. 

Well we get the dress, and put it on layaway, which is only 60 days :(  My wedding isn't until next June I don't need my dress in 60 days, but I didn't want it to not be there at a later date.  This past weekend I was talking to Joe and I brought up that I wasn't going to be able to get my dress.  We just don't have the money right this second, and I wasafraid if I took it off layaway I wouldn't be able to get it at another time.  Cause maybe it would be discontinued or something. 

I was all upset, crying and what not even considered calling the wedding off and just eloping...lol.  Yes I can be dramatic...  So I call my Mommy crying to her, never once asking her to help (I don't ask people to help me, even when I know I need it).  We hang up and she calls me right back saying she will pay for it and that it is our wedding gift.  Have I ever told you all how much I love my Mommy???  I love her soooo much.  She is the best!!!

OK I didn't think this entry would be this long and there is other stuff i wanted to talk about.  I guess I will just have to do another entry. 

Until Later

Me

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 3 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:42:57 PM EDT
Feeling Sad

Connie had 2 beautiful babies on Thursday the 20th of July, Angel Marie and Ariel Mae.  Angel weighed 1lb 14oz and Ariel 1lb 13oz.  This morning I got a phone call from Connie, Angel didn't make it she passed away this morning.  Ariel seems to be fighting the fight though, and I ask that you keep her in your prayers, she needs them. 

I knew something was wrong when I woke up this morning to a messege from Connie's sister.  I was sleeping so sound that I hadn't even heard the phone ring.  Just as I was dialing to call Connie my phone rang and as soon as she said Angel passed I just lost it.  It is just something that a parent shouldn't have to go through. 

So please find it in your hearts to pray for Ariel, and Connie and she tries to get through this.  Here are the pictures of the babies,  Angel is the first picture, she is now a true angel.  I know in my heart that God is holding her close to his chest while him and Angel watch over little Ariel. 

 

 

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:31:11 PM EDT
Feeling Chillin'

Since I haven't been around much lately I have been taking bunches of pictures.  That is what I am always doing, I am the girl with the camera.  I am ALWAYS sending pictures to my family and friends. 

Aidan my nephew turned 3 on July 8th, lucky him having a summer b-day because it is great to have a family picnic and b-day all in one.  My step-sister Peggy came with her 2 sons Zach and Tommy.  I don't see them much so it was fun seeing them. 

Pictures of Denver and his lady love Angel...lol.  They are soooooo in love with each other.  Denver goes gaa gaa over her and she just bitches at him in a way.  That's the Chihuahua in her.  They have fun with each other when they are hanging out, and it's a good thing they are running around and playing, because when she leaves Denver sleeps all day long not bothering me...lol. 

Added some pictures of my other baby, my feather baby Telly.  I don't know if I ever told you much about her.  My mom got her over 13 years ago as a baby.  She was hand trained and everything.  Well I didn't live with my mom growing up only over there in the summer and every other weekend.  But Telly loved me from day one, and even when my mom had to ask someone else to take care of her for a while she still remembered me when my mom got her back.  Denver is sooooooo interested in Telly, but for the most part leaves her alone.  He has never tried to eat her or anything and I don't think he will.  Plus Telly can hold her own. 

This past Saturday the bridal party for Audrey's wedding threw her a bridal shower.  Yes I am a bridesmaid.  She was in a lot of pain that day and was having major hot flashes since she was injected with something to make her go through menopause.  Yep menopause at 22, crazy.  Her sprits are high, and I am happy for her through all of this she found God and she really needs him.  That cake was sooooooo good, I am going to find out who made it and beg them to make me one, I will pay!!!

On Sunday I had my sister over with her kids, well I went to take Denver out of a walk and this is what I found in my little garden.   Baby Bunny Rabbits as my nephew was calling them.  I have been checking on them all the time and giving them carrots and lettuce.  The little one really likes the carrots.  I haven't seen the parents but I keep seeing an adult bunny pretty close by, it could be them.  We names the little one Flower since it is in my flower bed. 

Thank you for prayers for both Connie and Audrey, it seems everything will be ok for them.  Audrey will always get cervical cancer because of a gene she carries in her body, something she has had since birth but never thought to look for.  She is going to try to get pregnant as soon as the doctor clears her too, may not be for a while.  If Connie make it to 28 weeks she will be allowed to go come but be on bedrest until she has those babies.  I will be going over there during the day to take care of her Son.  Keep them in your prayers still, they sure do need it. 

Oh yeah, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my wedding.  I kinda want to run off and get married the more I start to plan for this wedding.  I would like to do something that it not as expensive and will give us a chance for a nice honeymoon.  I have thrown the idea at Joe and I think he isn't taking me seriously.  I don't know we will figure it out. 

If you want to see a picture of the wedding dress I want if we don't run off just let me know, I will e-mail it to you so Joe can't see. 

Until later

Cindy

 

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

9:42:42 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful

My best friend Connie needs prayers really really really bad. You see she is 6 1/2 months pregnant with twins girls.  Well today she had an ultrasound done (she has them done every 4 weeks because she is high risk)  Well they ended up sending her to labor and delivery at the hospital because her cervix is starting to get really thin, which happens not to long before you give birth. 

She is really scared and worried because the babies are only estimated at 1 lb 14 oz and 1 lb 15 oz and their little lungs aren't fully developed yet.  They are giving her steroids to help develope the babies lungs a little faster just in case they have to deliver them soon.  She has to stay in the hospital for a few days so they can keep a close eye on her and so they can decide what to do. 

We are all scared of the outcome, I know that with the way technology is today they would be able to save the babies but still there is the chance that they can't.  She has been trying to get pregnant for the last 3 years, and ended up getting pregnant with fertility drugs.  She has one son already and really wanted at least one of these babies to be a girl, and ended up with 2. 

Please please please keep Connie and her babies in your prayers or thoughts or whatever.  You know I wouldn't be asking this of your if it didn't mean something to me.  I don't want to watch my best friend have to go through losing her babies. 

Thank you sooooooooooooooo much

Cindy

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:43:37 PM EDT
Feeling Sad

This isn't going to be a happy entry, actually this is going to be a very angry entry.  I am sooooooo upset, angry, worried, confused, lost, and so many other emotions all mixed together. 

Yesterday I went to pick my dress up for my best friends Wedding.  So when I got home and tired it on I called her to let her know how it fit (it is way to big).  ANYWHO, after I told her she said she got bad news from her doctor.  You see she has been really sick for the past year, back and forth to doctors trying to figure out what in the world was wrong with her.

First she had a cyst on her ovaries, when it burst it left nerve damage that was causing her a lot of pain.  Then they found pre-cancerous cells on her cervix, they did a biopsy.  It took weeks to get the results back, but she got them back yesterday. She has cervical cancer.  When she told me all I could do was cry, because I know she is hurting a lot right now and nothing I say or do can take away the pain and heartache she feels. 

My best friend who has been through way to much heartbreak in her life has cancer, she is only 22.  Now her doctors are taking things one day at a time.  No matter what though cancer is not curible, even if they fight this it could come back.  She has to deal with that and it really fucking sucks.  This is happening to one of the most sweetest, caring friends I have ever had.  She has been there no matter what for the last 19 years.  I have to be there for her, but I just don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.  I feel sooooooo helpless, I don't want to say the wrong things to her. 

I feel so lost for her, I wish it was me instead.  This just isn't fair.  And I swear if one of you comes in here saying well life isn't fair screw you!!!  I don't want to hear it. 

I just want my friend to be alright, this isn't supposed to be happening to her. 

I love you so much Audrey!!

Sorry if I was a little rude in this entry, I hope you understand. 

Me

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 3 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:29:11 AM EDT
Feeling Silly

I know it has been a while since my last entry, lots has been happening, but really not much.  Joe is on a trip right now for work so I went to my Mom's and spent the day there on Monday. 

While I was there I went through a tub of pictures, and these are the few that I took with me.  I also have a picture of me in the Paper the day after graduation, but I didn't cut it out so I will do that and scan it another time.  I hope you enjoy the pictures. 

In other news, I don't remember if I told you that one of my best friends is pregnant with twins.  Well if I didn't my best friend Connie is pregnant with twins, she has 4 more months to go.  Well last week she found out that both of them are girls!!! She is happy because she already has a step-son and her own son so she wanted at least on of them to be a girl.  I can't wait for her to have them.  She is due October 23rd but will most likely go early with it being twins so I keep telling her that she is going to have them on Oct. 3rd, my birthday. 

Joe's work has been sending him on more over the road trips, this week he is gone until Thrusday.  And he has trips at least every week this month.  They are doing this because they are kind of preping him for being put in a tractor trailer.  When that happens he will be gone for longer periods of time, and Denver and I will be going on the road with him when this happens.

This is part of the reason I haven't gotten another job yet, I don't want to start something then have to quit because they are sending him long haul.  We have been talking long and hard about this because it is going to surely change the way our relationship will be, but I think it will be good change. Plus it will give me a chance to take some good pictures.  It gets boring taking pictures of my dog and bird all of the time...lol.

Also we are getting a new sofa, a sectional to be exact to replace out sofa and loveseat that we hate.  We bought it real cheap when we got it because we needed it and didn't have lots of money.  So now that we are able to afford something better we are getting it.  It is real nice it has 4 recliners built in it, I can't wait to get it. 

Well I think that is all for now. 

Until next time!

Cindy

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 3 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:43:09 PM EDT
Feeling Silly

Joe and I were out for the day today and when we came home this is what Joe found in my bird Telly's cage.  This isn't the first time she has laid an egg, actually it is about the 4th time.  It isn't a fertile egg, it couldn't be unless a male bird somehow got into our apartment and into her cage, which didn't happen.  You see the only way you are able to tell the sex of many household birds is by operation of some sort.  This is how we were able to tell Telly was a female, she laid her first egg about 7ish years ago.  So why did she lay that egg if she didn't have a male to produce it with?? Well it's kind of like she has her period, it is normal for female birds to do this, I have no clue why but that is what the vet told us. 

As you can tell Telly wasn't too happy about me taking pictures of her beloved egg.  When I went over to take this picture she was at the bottom of her cage laying on the egg, see she doesn't understand that there isn't anything in there.  I am sure she thought that I was going to take the egg so she got all fluffed up and did this kind of dance thing.  She is a silly bird!!!

Speaking of silly here is Denver with a pair of Joe's shorts around his neck, Joe put them on him and Denver just let him do it.  He is silly he lets us do what ever we want to him. 

Thank you all for the comments in my last entry, I was having a really hard time with quitting my job I thought everyone was going to view me as a loser.  I just needed to do it, it is the best thing for me and my relationship with Joe.  Since I have quit Joe and I have been able to spend more time together, it has been real nice.  As of now I am not sure what I am going to be doing for work yet.   I have been checking out the want ads and I have a few places I am calling Monday morning.  So we shall see.  I do know that I want something that will be day shift (no more getting home at 12 at night), and it would be really nice if I could have weekends off. 

Joe has been busy with work, he has been on a few trips with work so there were times when it was just the puppers and I here at home.  Even though I miss Joe I like that we get some time away from each other. 

Well I think I have rambled on long enough, I don't know why the pictures all came out different sizes I couldn have sworn I made them all the same size, guess I didn't.  And I didn't want to go back and resize them again. 

Until Later

Cindy

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

11:15:15 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful

Not that anyone actually missed more or anything, I just figured I would write because I am going through a lot right now. 

It has been almost 2 months since my last entry, that is the longest I have ever gone without writing an entry.  I do have to admit, this past year I haven't really been writing in my journal much. 

In the past 2 months soooooooo much has happened, my mom was rushed to the hospital, she is ok now.  She has been seeing all kinds of doctors and what not.  No real answers yet. 

Joe has been away a lot for work, which was sucking because we were NEVER able to see each other.  But that is all changing now, I will tell you why in a minute, just gotta wait. 

A lot has been going on at work, so much crap and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better, actually it seems like it was just getting worse.  I had a four day weekend this past weekend.  When I went back in on Monday I just couldn't handle it anymore, and I quit. 

I didn't give notice or anything, and the reason for that is because I know they would talk me out of it, they always do.  I just can't take the stress anymore, I don't want the stress of being the boss of a job I have come to hate. 

When Joe came home from work on Monday, I was afraid to tell him I thought he was going to be mad at me.  He wasn't, I was actually kind of surprised by his reaction.  The first thing that came out of his mouth was, go get a part time job and maybe now we will be able to spend more time together.  That sounds good to me :)

I have been at a crossroads for the past couple of days, because I quit our financial situation isn't going to be what it was.  I made really good money, and now we won't have that nice income coming in.  Don't worry we won't be poor, just not as much money as before, and that is going to put a strain on us for a while. 

I have been avoiding calls from work, I just don't want to let them down.  I know that by me leaving it is going to put them in a really bad bind, but I have to do it for me, and for my relationship with Joe.  Not to mention I think I may have an ulcer, for the past month I have been getting heartburn a lot, but only when I am at work.  Strange huh??

I have only talked about this with a few people, I am afraid if I let everyone know I quit they will think of me as a quitter.  I had to do this though, there are a million reasons why, reasons that no one really needs to know, if you think I am a quitter so be it, I know the real truth. 

I don't know what the future holds for me, but for now I am going to go look for a part-time job and maybe look into going back to school.  I never had that chance if I stayed at KFC. 

I look at this as a good thing, a new beginning I feel good things will come!!

Until Later

Cindy

Written by sweetfantasy103 Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 7 comments: Show Recent | Add your own