Archives
September 2004
9/24/04
9/23/04
9/17/04
9/2/04
The VMAs: A Critical Evaluation
Thursday, September 2, 2004
Most Possibly Not Sober: Mase
Artist Not SO In Need of a Comeback: Mase
Best Umbrella Handling, Even Sans Umbrella: Farnsworth Bentley
Most Awkward Denial of Band Breakup: Outkast
Least On-Stage Chemistry By a Hip-Hop and Pop Duo: Nelly and Christina Aguilera
Most Desperate Attempt to Cling to Waning Career: Jimmy Fallon
Most Depressing Silent Cry for Help: Chaka Khan
Most Likely to NOT Be on the Cover of the September '04 Issue of GQ: Usher
Couple Most In Need of Coming Out of the Closet: TIE: J.Lo & Marc Anthony and Usher & Alicia Keys
Band That You Just KNOW Smells: Jet
Biggest Supergrass Rip-Off: Jet
Most Derivative Band Possibly EVER: Jet
Most In Need of Stylists: Polyphonic Spree
Group Most Likely to Not-So-Secretly Be a Cult: Polyphonic Spree
Most Underrated Act: Kanye West
Biggest Over-all Wardrobe Malfunction: Beyonce Knowles
Celebrity Siblings Who are a Seriously a Bizarro Version of the Simpson Sisters: The Duff Sisters
Most Likely to Have Turned Down a VMAs Invite, Opting Instead to Watch the Show From Her Couch While Eating Cheetos, Drinking Red Bull and Rum and Planning a Doomed Child-Bride Wedding: Britney Spears
Next:
* I’ve been listening to the advance of the new Cake album, ‘Pressure Chief.’ It’s totally good and definitely a departure from their previous stuff, though JohnMcCrea’s deadpan, monotone articulations as well as the lovely horns are all still very much there. Andno, I’m not embarrassed that I just said that I like Cake.
* Scariest Craigslist postingever, this one thanks to a waning 44-year-old male musician in the Chicagoland area looking for his similarly waning Liz Phair. This thing speaks for itself.
* Got 4 Grand? Wanna buy a latchhook rug in the likeness of Alan Greenspan? Well then, go right ahead. But I got dibs on the CEO of JC Penney.
* Apprentice 2 fans – if you can be a fan of a show and cast that hasn’t even aired yet – can leave Friendster testimonials for Apprenti you don’t even know, again, for a show that hasn’t started yet. That is if you still Friendster. Have fun with that.
* Lastly, I must praise the R&B/ Neo-Soul stylings of John Legend (aka John Stephens, but he wisely changed his name after that carrot-topped grinning mongrel on American Idol won the patent on that name). He’s been around for quite awhile – singing back up for Lauryn Hill, writing for Alicia Keys and working with artists like Kanye West (he was playing keyboards during Kanye’s VMA performance, though he may’ve been eclipsed by Chaka). He’s sorta like a one-man Neptunes, but for R&B, and he doesn’t do Sprite and Taco Bell ads. Oh yeah, and he isn't totally overexposed. Anyway, he has an album out on Sony called ‘Used to Love U,’ and it’s hotter than July. Seriously. Don’t be put off if you hate on Neo-Soul, because this guy is a multi-talented genius, and if you like stuff like The Roots, Badu, Kanye West, Raphael Saadiq, then you must give him the love, and – to shamelessly use a pun that will be overused in reference to him in about two weeks -- the man’s a living legend. On the reals. Listen!
tamarsuperstar at 11:36:00 AM EDT Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | 
digg this
The VMAs: A Critical Evaluation
Air: Cherry Blossom Girl
Ok. So quickly, I think by now it can safely be said that the VMAs were horrific and possibly the most boring EVER. The production value was so shoddy that it looked like the whole thing was shot by a junior high AV club. I turned it off halfway through the show, figuring that while I’d lost an entire hour and a half of my life, at least I wouldn't have to live with the regrest of having sacrificed a full three hours to this oh-so unworthy cause. Anyway, here are a few quick superlatives I crafted and awarded (if only in my mind):
* Most Shameful Celebrity P.Diddy Hanger-On: Bruce Willis
Next:
* I’ve been listening to the advance of the new Cake album, ‘Pressure Chief.’ It’s totally good and definitely a departure from their previous stuff, though JohnMcCrea’s deadpan, monotone articulations as well as the lovely horns are all still very much there. Andno, I’m not embarrassed that I just said that I like Cake.
* Scariest Craigslist postingever, this one thanks to a waning 44-year-old male musician in the Chicagoland area looking for his similarly waning Liz Phair. This thing speaks for itself.
* Got 4 Grand? Wanna buy a latchhook rug in the likeness of Alan Greenspan? Well then, go right ahead. But I got dibs on the CEO of JC Penney.
* Apprentice 2 fans – if you can be a fan of a show and cast that hasn’t even aired yet – can leave Friendster testimonials for Apprenti you don’t even know, again, for a show that hasn’t started yet. That is if you still Friendster. Have fun with that.
* Lastly, I must praise the R&B/ Neo-Soul stylings of John Legend (aka John Stephens, but he wisely changed his name after that carrot-topped grinning mongrel on American Idol won the patent on that name). He’s been around for quite awhile – singing back up for Lauryn Hill, writing for Alicia Keys and working with artists like Kanye West (he was playing keyboards during Kanye’s VMA performance, though he may’ve been eclipsed by Chaka). He’s sorta like a one-man Neptunes, but for R&B, and he doesn’t do Sprite and Taco Bell ads. Oh yeah, and he isn't totally overexposed. Anyway, he has an album out on Sony called ‘Used to Love U,’ and it’s hotter than July. Seriously. Don’t be put off if you hate on Neo-Soul, because this guy is a multi-talented genius, and if you like stuff like The Roots, Badu, Kanye West, Raphael Saadiq, then you must give him the love, and – to shamelessly use a pun that will be overused in reference to him in about two weeks -- the man’s a living legend. On the reals. Listen!
tamarsuperstar at 11:36:00 AM EDT Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | digg this
9/2/04 12:47 PM
kanye west was hot to death, outkast was boring and they knew it, there were no 'wow!' moments (except for maybe when l.l. cool j made me cry for name-'dropping' his new album 18 times in a 10 second span)... overall, yeah, entertaining but a letdown.
peas out!
j