Your Town for Jesus.

Counselor Ron Kemp agreed said that Christian marriages may fail more often because the spouses’ expectations of marriage were higher than those of non-Christians.

“People in the church tend to idealize things,” says Kemp, a member of First Baptist Church, Bolivar, Mo. “Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and when wives find out a Christian husband can be just as much of a jerk as anybody else, they get disappointed. The same is true for men. They tend to idealize this Christian woman who is supposed to be loving and supportive, and they find out she can be just as critical as anybody.”

Consultant Jim Talley shocked everyone when he said that the reason for a higher divorce rate among Christians is simple. “The divorce rate is high because people are committing adultery, and the people in the church are committing adultery at a higher rate than outside the church,” says Talley, president of Oklahoma City-based Relationship Resources and the web site www.drtalley.com.

An Ounce of Prevention

The Barna Research Group released a revealing study revealing a high number of Christian divorces in September of 2004 (http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=BarnaUpdate&BarnaUpdateID=170). According to federal census numbers, the so-called Bible Belt states have the highest divorce rates in the nation. Except for Nevada, where fast divorces are traditionally easy to get, Arkansas, Alabama, Oklahoma and Tennessee lead the nation in divorces.

Anthony Jordan, executive director of the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma agreed that the age at marriage plays an important role in divorce.

“Getting married younger tends to put people of immaturity in a place where they are not ready to tackle the pressures marriage brings,” Jordan says.

Clergy and state government leaders in Oklahoma are trying to curb the state’s high divorce rate. Jordan and other faith leaders, along with the governor, recently signed a community marriage policy. The policy prevents a clergy member from marrying a couple that has not undergone premarital counseling.

“Since 75 percent of marriages are done in places of worship, our state initiative decided that if we’re going to impact marriage, we’ve got to do it through the faith community,” Jordan says. “The state realizes the social impact of divorce and the millions of dollars it takes to put Band-Aids on social ills.”

“In our desire to be inclusive to reaching out to people in the hurt of divorce, sometimes the message gets mixed. The strong message of sanctity of marriage, that God hates divorce, gets watered down in our attempt to reach those that are in the pain of divorce.”

Are you "Divorce Proofing" your marriage?

What can be done to divorce-proof YOUR marriage? Use these “6 Keys to a Better Marriage Today.” If you want to strengthen your marriage right away, start showing your spouse . . . .

1. Forgiving Love: Because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross, all of our sins have been forgiving. The Forgiving Love He has shown us is essential in a marriage. It offers a fresh start after one spouse hurts or offends another. Without forgiveness, no marriage will ever last.
2. Serving Love: Do you know your spouse’s deepest needs? Loving him or her with a servant’s heart is the best and quickest way to find out. Serve one another in love (after all – the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve).
3. Persevering Love: Marriage is a marathon – not a sprint. Are you in it for the long haul . . . or do you have the tendency to “bail out” or "clam up" when the going gets tough? Persevering Love sustains us through the trials of life (and trials are what makes any marriage real).
4. Guarding Love: In other words, let him or her know that you’ll do anything to keep the marriage together (as long as its legal and moral, of course). The modern culture isn’t all that keen on marriage -- even though it’s the backbone of our society. Guarding Love protects your heart and the heart of your spouse from the threats to your marriage . . . and believe me they’re out there!
5. Celebrating Love: That’s right – celebrate your marriage! What a gift the two of you have been given! Celebrating Love equips you to maintain a satisfying emotional, physical and spiritual connection with your mate . . . so celebrate it! All the time, NOT merely on Valentine's Day or your Anniversary.
6. Renewing Love: No marriage will survive if either or both spouses constantly challenge its integrity by threatening to leave. The fact is, Renewing Love enables both husband and wife to regard the marriage covenant as unbreakable (just like God does). So share this gift with your spouse every day. Rejoice in the fact that you’ll be together forever . . . “for better or worse!”

These six vital expressions of love will make your marriage better. They’ll also help you teach your children how to understand what biblical love and marriage are all about. Love takes time – any good relationship does. So stay the course . . . keep praying . . . and start “divorce-proofing” your marriage by loving your spouse! (Excerpted from the book, Divorce-Proof Your Marriage by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg.

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Pastors: YOUR CONGREGATION needs these daily messages!

Every blessing,
Michael
A servant of God
t.e.a.m. ministries
A Ministry of Discipleship & Encouragement
to the Body of Christ across Planet Earth
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Philemon 2 ...and to the church that meets in your house:
Colossians 4 ...and the church in her house. 
Romans 16 ...also the church that meets at their house