HORSESHOE BEND

GOD IS STILL IN CHARGE

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 03:00:34 GMT

Wyatt had to go to the doctor today for a checkup. He has gained up to 8 pounds and 1 ounce! The doctor was pleased with his weight gain and took him off the neo-sure formula for preemies and put him on regular formula. Amanda is so disappointed that she could not produce enough milk for him herself, but like I told her, at least she tried, right?

After the doctor visit, Amanda and I took Wyatt to see his great Aunt Dorris.

She had such a good time holding him and you know what? The little bugger would not wake up for nothing while we were there to let Aunt Dorris see his eyes! lol

Amanda took Wyatt to see my mama Monday.

I had to run out there to sign some papers for the treatment plan for mama's legs, which I have to do ever so often...

Everytime he sees his great-grandma, he will get real quiet and wide eyed...I love the way he looks right at her and seems to listen so intently to her.

I cooked supper tonight. I had BBQ chicken, fresh turnip greens, fresh squash, and thickning potatoes with cornbread, biscuits and sweet tea. I took Dorris a huge plate for her supper too.

I was shocked at the price of potatoes yesterday at the grocery store...They were $4.98 for 5 pounds...Thank goodness they had a 10 pound bag on sale for $5.98! Everywhere I looked in the store, all the prices had went up, way up...

Everything had gotten higher...I don't know how much longer the working poor will be able to meet all their expenses. The way things are going...We will have to be cutting back, that is for sure.

Speaking ofthe working poor...I am almost sure that I will be dropping my health insurance ...I have did the math over and over and I keep coming up with more money going out for the insurance than what I am getting out of it...I have not been feeling too good lately and it worries me to death to have to let it go...But Half my check a month is just too much for me right now...and if I did get sick and have to use it, I would not be able to work, so I would not be able to pay the premium.

Don't get me wrong.........I still know that God is watching over me, so I will not give up hope.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

WEDNESDAY

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:34:53 GMT

Yay!! My little grandbaby Wyatt has gained weight! He now weighs 7 lbs. and 10 oz.!!! And he is 19 inches long ! Don't you just love his expression in this picture? lol

I am watching Prime Time Crime as I type and I shocked beyond words from what I am seeing....I never thought I would live to see the day that young girls would be kidnapped and sold into sex slavery in the United States...at truck stops yet. How can this be going on without someone seeing it ?

I worked in a cafe that was open 24/7 when I was 14 years old. Back then the interstate had yet to come through our little town, so we got all the truck drivers going from Atlanta to Augusta and beyond....and of course there were some truckers that flirted, but nothing like the evil things that are going on now... Most all were very decent people with hearts of gold. Maybe I am naive, but this really shocked and saddened me.

The BBQ had to raise all it's prices today. Although I didn't work, I got the prices from my boss and typed up new 'to go' menus. The price of cabbage ( used for slaw) has more than doubled...matter of fact just about everything has...Oil rules the world...and it is hurting everyone. The thing is tomorrow when I go into work I am going to hear people fussing over and over about the price hike....Knowing the wholesale price of all that they buy, actually I feel like my boss and her family are cutting themselves shorter than they should...

My Blue cross and Blue Shield Health ins. raised it's premium on me in April as they do every year...and then I get a letter today saying they wereraising it again in Sept. over $50.00 more because I went into a new 'age bracket'.....I am mighty afraid this time I can not keep it...because now it will be over half my monthly income...I can not do it...and I am so scared that just as soon as I drop it, I will need it....God help me. I truly don't know what the working poor will do if something does not turn this country around very soon.

On a brighter note...I have little Wyatt...and I got to baby sit him last night so that Amanda and his daddy could go out and eat alone for the first time since he was born! They did not stay gone long enough~! SO when they come back, they said I could keep him a couple more hours! I was so happy. He smiled at me...and my heart just melted....I love him so much.

Wyatt and Mommie 07/14/08

Monday was Danny's birthday. He would have been 54 years old. He should be here to enjoy his grandbaby...I miss him so much...Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Whenever I go somewhere, I still to this day, find myself wanting to hurry and get home so I can fix his supper...He loved my homemade biscuits..and I tried to make them on the days I was off work...Maybe it sounds crazy, but I loved to watch him eat! I loved cooking for him and doing little things for him. He not only was the love of my life, and my husband...but he was also my best friend...a very real part of me is missing....

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

BLESSINGS

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 01:33:38 GMT

I finally got my replacement phone fixed...Seems it had not been programmed at all before it was shipped. I even got all my pictures and contacts back !!! yay!

I also got the photos of my grand baby and my mama uploaded or downloaded ( I always confuse my self about this!) into my computer.

I was hungry when my great - grandma first saw me!!!

Wyatt seems to be clapping here!

Mama kept asking if he was a little girl and could not remember for long when we would tell her his name... but it didn't matter to Wyatt one bit!

My mama, my daughter and my grand baby....

I never thought that I would live to see this day....

Thank You, thank You....Dear Lord, from the bottom of my heart ...

Thank You for this sweet little miracle.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

THIS AND THAT

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:43:36 GMT

I noticed that I mistakenly printed "great-grandmother" under the picture of her and Wyatt in the last entry...I had to go back and edit that, because she is actually his great-great grandmother!

This is one of Wyatt's great-grandmothers! This is Danny's mama holding him the day he came home! This picture is priceless!!

I also have a picture of my mama holding him but I am having trouble putting it in here and also on the computer~! She held him the whole time we were there and he was wide awake...and never once even grunted! Just kept staring at his great grandma! I honestly believe that little babies sense things. As soon as I can get the pictures uploaded I will put them in here.

Little Wyatt with a Tye Baby Tiger that a good friend here in J-LAnd sent to him the other day!!! It is sooooooo soft and cudly and ust about bigger than him!!! lol lol

Even that little 4 oz bottle looks bigger than he does! lol

I had to call Verizon about my cell phone...It had started acting up, but I really liked the style phone, so they sent me one just like it today. ...The only bad thing is...So far I can not get it to do anything....It keeps showing"Initial programming needed"...I don't know what the heck that is...so looks like I will be calling them again...

:-(

So I might as well let this be a short entry and try to get the phone going before tomorrow.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:29:42 GMT

Wyatt and his great - great- grandmother-Danny's grandmother.

We have a roaring thunderstorm going on right now, so I may get knocked off line before I get this entry in; but I am going to try anyway. :-)

I have just gotten back from seeing Wyatt! ( You knew this was going to be about Wyatt didn't you??? lol )

I hope you know that for a while this journal will, more than likely, gravitate toward him....Some may say; 'good gosh......everyone has grandchildren that they love...yours is no more special than mine'...and that is rightfully so...

But you know, my feelings have always seemed to run so much deeper than the norm....

I will never be able to explain here, nor on paper, the feelings that flood my heart and soul when I look at this child...It is the type feelings that only one's heart can communicate to another heart....

For when I look down on this tiny little baby that is the child of my child....I am overwhelmed with a love that I have never experienced before...

In his face I can see, not only his daddy and his mama....but also his grandma, his granddaddy, his uncles, and his aunts....

I have learned so many lessons from this wee little babe that is only two weeks old...

Like how, no matter how dark the night may seem...the sun will shine again someday...Maybe not tomorrow or the day after...but someday.

I have learned that even though you have lost the love of your life and you think that life itself is 'not worth a damn anymore'; one day, when you least expect it, God will find a way to prove you wrong.

I have learned that just because you think that there are no more miracles for you in God's plans....that doesn't mean that that is what God thinks.

I look at my grandchild and I see the very continuance of life...I see hope renewed...because although death may have laid claim to my beloved husband's body...

It could not break the circle of life that God saw fit to continue.

Because God in His mercy has given to us, as living proof ....this tiny little person named Wyatt Kelvin Daniel Kitchens....

I have come to know and come to believe what I have seen for myself...

What God had been trying to tell me all along...

It is not ever over....

Life does go on.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

WYATT

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 05:19:21 GMT

Wyatt, who was born weighing 5 pounds, has now gained 6 ounces ! He is currently having a little trouble with his bowel movements...For the last 4 days, he has only had one movement per day and would be grunting all day, trying to go potty. So we took him to the pediatrician, who ordered an X-ray...

Although they found no cause for his irregular bowel movements, except for gas, they did find a hernia near his groin. They seem to think it has nothing to do with his stool problem, but he is being set up with a neo-surgeon. We will know more later and are not letting this worry us much, for we KNOW that the Good Lord has him in His hands.

He is the sweetest little baby...hardly ever crying ... already looking around and lifting his little head. Amanda is doing a wonderful job as a new mama...I am so proud of her. She has had some pain from the c-section of course but otherwise she is fine.

When I look at little Wyatt, and he scrunches his forehead up and squints at me; I can honestly see his granddaddy Danny looking back at me and I marvel at this absolute miracle that God granted us...

Danny and I would often lay in our bed at night and wish we could be grandma and grandaddy...would even tell each other what we thought that our grandchildren would look like and be like...what we would do for them...but mainly how we would love them.

Danny went to his grave believing we would never know the joy of being grandparents....He knew how badly I longed for grandchildren and while I know it seems crazy...I can not help but believe that he had a helping hand in all this...

Yes, truly, God has been so good to us.....Just think of it all...Amanda having the baby that she has wanted with all her heart for years....even though specialists said there was hardly any chance...

Amanda having not even one tiny labor pain ....( I have never known anyone that did not at least have one little pain especially while receiving drugs to help speed up things ) ....

And Dan.....oh my goodness...

When my son Dan holds little Wyatt, you can literally see love radiating all about him...I came into the room today and heard Dan singing " Jesus loves me" to our little fellow, as he sat rocking him in the same rocker that my daddy gave me to rock my children in.....

When we sat down to eat our supper last night, for the first time in his life Dan actually asked to say the blessing. After he thanked the Lord for our food...he also thanked Him for giving us little Wyatt...

I thanked Him too........

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

INTRODUCING:

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 04:43:16 GMT

WYATT KELVIN DANIEL KITCHENS

Born 06/18/200

10:53 pm

5 lbs.

17 and 1/2 inches long

THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

IT'S OVER

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 04:32:32 GMT

First I want to thank each of you who prayed, left a kind word, emailed me, and were there to once again support me and my family, and hold me up at my weakest point......

All I can say is; Thank God for people like you all....Thank God.

I am so glad it is all over...I am so glad to be here tonight....and I am so glad that things turned out the way they did.

When I took Amanda to the fetal specialist Wednesday morning at 8:30, it was with the hope that all would go well and I could get back home. It was not to be.

The sonogram showed that Wyatt had gained 6 oz. but his stomach had gotten smaller. Also, he had dropped further down. Amanda had began to dilate and was further thinned out. The specialist walked us over to her OBGYN and admission papers were printed up and we left the office headed to the hospital across the street.

Amanda was admitted and taken to a beautiful labor/ delivery room there...It had a comfortable bed with huge oil paintings on the wall behind it. The nurses soon came in and started a drip to bring her on into labor. A few hours later, after having no pains and not dilating, they increased the drip.

After lunch, and still not having any pains...they again increased the drip. During all this time, the monitor belt had kept acting up....slipping off and such. (It timed and measured the strength of her contractions) The monitor was showing very small contractions that were erratic.

Well, after still having no pain...and not dilating past 3 cm....they once again upped the iv drip. They also finally took the stupid monitor belt off and placed an electronic probe in Amanda to measure her contractions.

It was then they found out that Amanda was indeed having contractions..huge ones...and they were coming every minute...On the scale from 0-100...they were measuring 85 to 100. For some unknown reason; she just did not feel them....

ALL THIS TIME IN LABOR AND SHE HAD NOT FELT ANY OF THEM.

The nurses all spoke of how lucky Amanda was to not be able to feel the pain associated with childbirth and once again they upped the drip.

I had been watching the monitor screen ALL DAY....to watch not only the contractions, but also little Wyatt's heart beat...which had been holding steady at normal which is @ 135-150 per minute......It was while I was watching the monitor that I noticed shortly after they increased the drip the last time; that Wyatt's heart rate had suddenly dropped to 66...

I spoke to Kelvin's mom and asked her to step outside and call a nurse. When she stepped out, I again looked at the monitor and his heart rate had dropped to 60...and then to nothing....Before I could say a word, the door burst open and four doctors and nurses ran in...

They came running in...One took over the monitor, one stopped the drip, and then.... this blew me away...One of them ran to the painting behind the bed and threw it up the wall...and an oxygen mask dropped down! The painting had been on a hidden track of sorts and was there to hide the oxygen equipment!

They threw the mask on Amanda's face and began saying..."BREATH>>>BREATH>>>BREATH FAST>>>BREATH DEEP" All of this had terrified Amanda and she began hysterically crying...I hushed her and quietly told her that she HAD to breathe...for Wyatt....and she did.

The rest was as if in slow motion....Doctors coming in and explaining that they were going to do an emergency c section right now...Kelvin putting on doctor scrubs....nurses throwing the blanket back and prepping Amanda and then wheeling her out and heading to the operating room....

I was left in a fog of terror and heartache....as we were led to the labor/delivery waiting room....to wait.

Danny's sis, Kat was with me and she convinced me to take a look at the babies in the nursery window...There were around 14 babies there...guess it was the full moon thing going on...While standing there watching the nurses clean up a newly born infant; I was wondering how my daughter was and if they had saved my little grandchild...

I kept looking at the tiny baby that they were turning every which way but loose, checking it for everything....and finally they turned the baby to where we could all see the face....It had so much hair...and I swear it looked just like Kelvin. I even told Kelvin's mom this and after looking at the baby, she agreed...It was then that Kat said that she had seen them place a pink bracelet on it's tiny arm.....meaning it was a little girl....With that info, I left to go to the restroom .

As I was coming out of the restroom, my niece came running up and said," Aunt Carlene......your grand baby is in the nursery!!!' I said excitedly..."really...he is??" and she said; "yeah...it was the baby you were looking at!!!" I was thoroughly confused by then...my grand baby was suppose to be a boy! She saw my confusion and said..."Aunt Lene...the baby you saw...it was a boy...It was Wyatt!!!"

OMG...I have felt this elation only twice...Both times when my own two children were born...alive... healthy....and kickin' and screamin'. I looked up and saw Kelvin standing there in his doctor scrubs...and he said..."yes...Amanda is okay!" I broke down right then and there...I felt as if I had been holding my breath the entire time and had just now gotten my first good breath of fresh air.

Kelvin told me after it was all over; that once inside the operating room....and after cutting Amanda open, the doctors found that not only was the cord wrapped around little Wyatt's neck, but his little arm was wedged..pressing up against and pinching the cord in one spot....no wonder he wasn't getting enough blood and nutrients. They also found out that Amanda's cervix was too small to have delivered him anyway.

They did not find out why she never felt any of the pains....I choose to believe that the good Lord, your prayers, and maybe even Danny had a little to do with that.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

AMANDA

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:40:10 GMT

AMANDA IS IN LABOR. WILL LET YALL KNOW MORE WHEN I DO. PRAY OKAY? I AM AT THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW IN LABOR ROOM.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

TIME GOES BY

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:43:04 GMT

( this cute tag by D! )

I went over yesterday and helped Amanda do some chores around the house. Kelvin built the sink base doors and put them on...Also he made a desk and cabinet for the kitchen...He is very good at building things.

Amanda is having twinges and a little back pain....She has dilated a little over 1 cm and her cervix has thinned out over 70 %... She goes back to the fetal specialist Wednesday...He will do another sonogram and if the baby has gained enough weight, he will let nature take it's course...If not...he will do the amnio* and we will go from there. Please keep her and the baby on your prayer list.

Amanda on June 15, 2008

I have not been feeling well at all....I had to stop in at the out patient Oconee Regional doctor's office while in Athens with Amanda the other day. My blood pressure has been running on the high side...and I have been having a severe headache and feeling nauseous...Don't know what is going on but I hope it stops...I am trying to find a doctor around here.

Dan went to Myrtle Beach, SC with his Aunt Kat and his cousin Troy ...Seems like he had a ball down there . lol....All I have heard is "Myrtle Beach" since he got back home! I am so glad that Troy let him go with them....Dan very seldom goes anywhere, and I missed him so much while he was gone.

He always loved going to MB with me and Danny. I can not go this year since Amanda is due most any day....so it was a God send when Troy and Wendy invited Dan to go along with them. He had some pictures on a throw-a-way camera that I bought him, but he left it at the motel...He was so disappointed, bless his heart.

Happier times...Me and Danny at MB

You know; when you lose a loved one...

Well, let me back up and rephrase that and say ; since I loss Danny; I can think of soooo many things that I didn't do, that I should have done.....and I can think of sooo many things that I did do, that I shouldn't have done, both while we were courting and married...Know what I mean?

I think daily of how I could have done things differently...little things and big things...Oh sure...I know he would have thought the same thing had it been me to go first...

But the awful thing about death is.....

You get no second chances...

You don't get to right your wrongs...

You have to live with all the 'should haves', and 'could haves' for the rest of your life.

You find yourself praying that your loved one knew that you were only human...and though you may not have shown it all the time...

The true depth of your love for him was deeper than even you realized...

I sure hope Danny knew.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.