Welcome to my Life

So I'm officially done with the Joey thing. I went to see him last night to tell him how I felt. I told him that I felt it wasn't going anywhere between us and that it hurt that he left me hanging for 3 weeks. Of course I cried...so don't ask. And well...he said he wanted to call me but was nervous about what I would say to him. Who does that? Then he told me he wanted to work things out and he was interested...and deep down i want it to work..but I know it can't. Then he tells me how he wants me to sing for him and listen to me talk and take a picture of me. Then all of the sudden like 2 hours later he tells me that he can't do this anymore and that he hasn't been interested in me for awhile and that he's seeing someone knew. WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? It's like he turned it around to make it feel like he wanted to end the situation...wow no thats my fucking duty.  It hurts to know that I told him so many times to just be honest with me...and he couldn't even do that. I am happy I know but if he felt differently about me..he should of just told me. So now I've been feeling like shit. I got 3 hours of sleep last night. I've been a mess all day. I know I should just let it go..and I have...but he was everything I was looking for in a guy..just not what I was looking for in a relationship. I've never really felt this way about someone and it hurts that he didn't feel the same way back and that I tried so hard....for nothing. I hope one day he realizes that I'm a great person and it's his loss. How can someone change feelings for someone in 2 hours?????? He says he has committment issues...yeah ok I can tell since u wanna see someone new..you really must have committment issues. Then he tells me I shouldn't of put my heart on the line...well when you have feelings for someone you take the risk of being hurt..and of course I was the one who was hurt. It just hurts to know that was my last night with him and that I won't even be able to call him to see how's he doing. I kinda knew it would come down to this but at the same time...i'm hurting cause he lied to me. Well there's a sign-up sheet if anyone else wants to kick his ass...I know my sister and housemates are #'s 1-3 on the list..so anyone else? Let me know!  I'm so sick of trying..I just want to give up.

Luckily I hung out with my friend from high school, Liz O. We had a lot of laughs and shared a lot of memories from high school...and no matter what she's always Liz O...she's always there for me. She rocks! :-)    Remember truth or dare Liz O? Hahahaha!!  Then Liz O, Amy, and I went to Friendly's for dinner...which was delectable.

Now I'm sitting here..talking to you...hoping that as each day goes on I can move on and learn from this situation. Well I'm going to bed...good night cruel world.

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