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GGG 8.4.06
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Friday, August 4, 2006
1:23:00 PM EDT
GirlGoneLeBron: There are certain people we are desperate to give our advice too.
GirlGoneGrady: More desperate than Teri Hatcher on her show.
GirlGoneGrady: Don't forget, it's all a joke and entirely made up.
Dear Girls,
I am in a lot of trouble. Not only was I caught drinking and driving, but I said some really hateful things about certain religions and their people. I’m afraid that this will damage my career and I won’t be able to make anymore overly self-indulgent movies. Tell me what I should do?
Signed,
The Passionate Drunk
Dear PD,
We’re not sure we want to help you. After all, not only are you prejudice against other religions, but you are also a rampant sexist a**hole. To think of a woman solely as a breeding tool is archaic and inane. Hopefully your wife will never give you anymore sugar from her t**s. However, in the spirit of the whole *What Would Jesus Do* thing, we will offer what we can. You are a devout Catholic, so no doubt you know the Ten Commandments. We thought it’d be best to modify them to suit your problems.
I. Thou shalt not put liquor before thy mouth.
II. Thou shalt forsake American Idol.
III. Thou shalt not swear against other religions or women
IV. Remember the day thy career went down the toilet and keep it holy.
V. Dishonor the religious sensationalism thy father preaches.
VI. Thou shalt not kill thy career again.
VII. Thou shalt not steal movie ideas from the Bible.
IX. Thou shalt not take drunken photos with women who are not thy wife.
XI. Thou shalt not move because Britney Spears is thy neighbor.
X. Thou shalt covet the comeback of Kate Moss.
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1:23:00 PM EDT
GGG 8.4.06
GirlGoneLeBron: There are certain people we are desperate to give our advice too.
GirlGoneGrady: More desperate than Teri Hatcher on her show.
GirlGoneGrady: Don't forget, it's all a joke and entirely made up.
Dear Girls,
I am in a lot of trouble. Not only was I caught drinking and driving, but I said some really hateful things about certain religions and their people. I’m afraid that this will damage my career and I won’t be able to make anymore overly self-indulgent movies. Tell me what I should do?
Signed,
The Passionate Drunk
Dear PD,
We’re not sure we want to help you. After all, not only are you prejudice against other religions, but you are also a rampant sexist a**hole. To think of a woman solely as a breeding tool is archaic and inane. Hopefully your wife will never give you anymore sugar from her t**s. However, in the spirit of the whole *What Would Jesus Do* thing, we will offer what we can. You are a devout Catholic, so no doubt you know the Ten Commandments. We thought it’d be best to modify them to suit your problems.
I. Thou shalt not put liquor before thy mouth.
II. Thou shalt forsake American Idol.
III. Thou shalt not swear against other religions or women
IV. Remember the day thy career went down the toilet and keep it holy.
V. Dishonor the religious sensationalism thy father preaches.
VI. Thou shalt not kill thy career again.
VII. Thou shalt not steal movie ideas from the Bible.
IX. Thou shalt not take drunken photos with women who are not thy wife.
XI. Thou shalt not move because Britney Spears is thy neighbor.
X. Thou shalt covet the comeback of Kate Moss.
Follow these and you should have no trouble. If you find doing so problematic, we do have one last resort for you. Nail your lips to a cross.
Love,
The Girls
(Photo Credit: Getty Images)
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This entry has 12 comments: (Add your own)
-
It really doesn't matter what you said because I know you didn't mean it. Yes you were drunk and driving...it's not like it's never happened before...people say things that they don't mean almost all the time. So you made a mistake who doesn't. I don't think it will hurt your career because your personal life is really noones buisness and you're a great actor/film maker. Don't worry people will eventually forget.
Alexandra age 14 -
Imagine me spray-painting on an over-pass: MEL FOR PRESIDENT
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PSST !!! http://www.cdbaby.com/addambo
ngg2 EVERYONE LOVES IT ... -
I think it is great that people like mel can screw up royally and then go " rest" for thirty days in rehab. Come out of hidding you coward!!!
8/8/06 9:46 AM