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4:14:00 PM EDT
Cooler Apology: Sorry Angelina, Shakira
OlYellaCerebella: Here at the Cooler blog we oftentimes indulge in the easy and small-minded art of being cruelly judgmental.
DishUpontheStars: Usually, when people say "you're being too harsh" "why do you care?" or "way to take the easy joke low road like ALWAYS"
LowCultureGuru: We say why do you think our name is LowCultureGuru.
DishUpontheStars: Or something to that effect.
OlYellaCerebella: But today---today we realize that we were in the wrong.
LowCultureGuru: We owe Angelina Jolie an apology.
OlYellaCerebella: See, a while back we accused Angelina Jolie of hypocrisy for feuding with her father while marching around in her aviator heels like the Mother Theresa of all Hollywood.
DishUpontheStars: Some of us pretended to disagree, but frankly we were just being devil's advocate. The truth is, we all thought she was a smug fame whore who happened to have beatified herself by the grace of her come hither brood of multi-ethnic children, Mary-Magdalene-with-a-top-notch-publicist style.
OlYellaCerebella: And then we saw THIS.
DishUpontheStars: And we realized that we were wrong.
LowCultureGuru: We realized that John Voight is the fame whore. And that even if his daughter seems, at times, a little false pious...
OlYellaCerebella: We have never once seen her dressed up like the pope:
Getty Images
DishUpontheStars: And that he wants that brood of gorgeous children to fuel his own publicity action quest.
OlYellaCerebella: And that poor Mr. Voight is fighting a losing battle, foiled by his own problematic inability to produce the names of his daughter's children on demand.
LowCultureGuru: So Angelina--consider us chastened.
DishUpontheStars: We'll never doubt you again.
OlYellaCerebella: And Shakira--we're sorry too.
LowCultureGuru: You're a very pretty and memorable little girl.
DishUpontheStars: And your dance moves put us into a coma.
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the blind leading the blind
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i AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU, MAY I BORROW A PAMPER
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Angelina Jolie is hot, hot hot hot. A great actor, and a good mom. See, most celeb moms you see have a trail of nannies behind them. Show me one picture with a nanny behind in front of or holding her kids. Hmmm Ya can't. She's a good person. People have talked shit about her for years because of her sexual preference. Hunny, if she wants to cut me a little with a knife while having sex, go right ahead. I'll just be lookin at those luscious lips. Yes, I'm female.
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So, buy another!
9/6/06 12:06 AM