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LowCultureGuru: Can we talk about how Janet Jackson blames her weight problems on Michael calling her "fat butt" when they were children.
OlYellaCerebella: Imagine living in an age so distant, so removed from the realities of the post-modern universe, that Michael Jackson could have insulted Janet Jackson, and Janet Jackson could have been emotionally traumatized by his abuse.
DishUpontheStars: I can't... too difficult to fathom... like hearing the voice of God... i feel weak... uuuuuuuuuuh
OlYellaCerebella: Imagine the exchange:

MICHAEL JACKSON: [to JANET JACKSON] Hey fat butt, get out of throne room.
JANET JACKSON: Oh god, Michael, I'm so sorry... I just wanted to look at your Grammy! I'm so sorry.
MICHAEL JACKSON: Shut up, fat butt. Being such a dumb baby is why I won't let you be in my band. And cuz you're a FAT BUTT. Hahahahahahahahaha.
JANET JACKSON: But Michael...I'm not fat! And I'm pretty! And I'm a good singer! This isn't fair!!
MICHAEL JACKSON: Hahahahahahhaaaaaaaa. Whatever, fat ass. If we added you we'd go from the Jackson 5 to the Jackson 7 and 3/4! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
[JANET JACKSON runs, sobbing, out of MICHAEL JACKSON'S throne room and into the kitchen, where she stops, standing in front of the family cook, shaking but calm.]
JANET JACKSON: [to COOK] Deep fry me eleven twinkies. Right now. And if you cheat and use vegetable oil--I will be able to tell.

DishUpontheStars: Yeah, but I can only imagine how the conversation might go today...

MICHAEL JACKSON: Janet, let's get in bed with the babies and draw starlicues with the unicorn pen, because I love you so much it makes my sweetsoul hurt like a pretty pink lamb.
JANET JACKSON: What? I can't hear you through that f***** face mask.
MICHAEL JACKSON: Do you want to sing a duet with me?
JANET JACKSON: [leaves the room] Sunken nose freak.

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• #34 Comment from terrinardone 
  9/5/06 11:08 AM | Permalink

  this is not at all funny - tasteless! "You got nothin else to talk about?"
• #33 Comment from pepsidrinknfool 
  9/5/06 4:46 AM | Permalink

  Got Milk?
• #32 Comment from indigoblue 
  9/4/06 10:21 AM | Permalink

  Now I rember...she sent me out for milk......
• #31 Comment from susalmom 
  9/3/06 10:05 PM | Permalink

  Honey, what's stuck in her navel.  I can't see very well.
• #30 Comment from msvickielwilliam 
  9/3/06 12:48 AM | Permalink

  Please get serious, this is the most tackiest, unfunniest garbage that I have ever read.