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5:26:00 PM EDT
GGG 9.8.06
GirlGoneLeBron: More celebrity advice for your entertainment.
GirlGoneGrady: Don’t forget it’s still very fake!
Dear Girls,
I shouldn’t have to explain myself. I wanted a hamburger. So what? And In and Out burgers are the best, so really who could blame me? It was only one drink. An eensy-teensy margarita was all I had. Those things are mostly sugar anyway right? Or salt or something. I know this won’t hurt my career that much, but I’m just wondering if you have any advice?
Signed,
The Designated Driver
Dear DD,
We do have some advice for you. Next time, try to think of a more plausible story. You think people will believe that you wanted a hamburger? You who weighs 110 pounds and stand at 5 feet 9 inches tall? Please! And how could you even say that In and Out burgers are the best? Didn’t you whore yourself all over a Bentley promoting Carl Jrs? And honey, no one will believe that you of all people only had one drink. You talk about your career, but drinking and partying is your career. That’s what you do. That’s what you’re known for. And suddenly we’re expected to believe that you didn’t drink that much on a night when you were partying? Right. But this definitely won’t hurt your reputation since this is your reputation. At least you didn’t act like Mel Gibson and that’s a huge plus.
Love,
The Girls
Dear Girls,
Y’all told me never to write again. So I haven’t, even though you let my man ask for advice. But I just couldn’t help it this time. I saw that you were talking about me, about me giving birth yesterday or on the same day as my boo boo’s birthday. But I just wanted to say that that’s not true. Just to set the record straight. I wasn’t going to the hospital. I was making my daily Starbucks and Taco Bell run. You know how it is, being pregnant and all. I’m not mad at y’all but I wanted to let you know what was happening in my life. Oh and what do you think of the name we picked out for our new boo boo? Jaillyn! It’s a cross between my momma and daddy’s names. Isn’t it just precious? Oops! Past time for my bag of Cheetohs!
Signed,
Still Very Pregnant
Dear SVP,
We didn’t mean to offend at all. We just heard you were going into labor. But can we offer you this piece of advice, I know you didn’t really ask for it, but it just had to be said. We heard you were really excited to get back to your hit-me-baby-one-more-time weight. And we fully support you on the decision. In fact, we’re begging you for a return to the hot jailbait days. Don’t you think you should lay off the fast food and coffee? They can’t be good for your baby, or your weight either. But that’s just a suggestion. As for the name, it’s not bad. It kind of grows on us the more we think about it. And it’s better than Brevin or Kitney.
Signed,
The Girls
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Jeez Britney. We were just wondering if it was true. No need to be so mad. And I thought you were going to be an orderly mom. tsk. tsk. tsk
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LAY OFF OF Mel Gibson AND EVERYBODY ESLE.IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!!!! LIKE YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!? THEY MAKE MISTAKES JUST LIKE ALL OF US.SO BUTT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Don’t you think you should lay off the fast food and coffee? They can’t be good for your baby. I'm dieing to come to L.A. PLEASE HELP ME AND MY BOYS COME OUT THERE/ I WILL BABY SIT FOR YOU.PLEASE I NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE AND BEEN TO CAL. CAN YOU HELP US.?EVEN IF IT'S FOR JUST TWO DAY'S.THINK ABOUT IT.AND E-MAIL ME AT BrokenDreams532@aol.com with your answer.Thinks pat
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Not that Britney wrote that but you know everyone needs advice ever now and then and after being with Kevin federline who would still be in their right mind. I cant wait to see Britneys new baby. I hope its as cute as Preston!
9/11/06 11:04 AM