CoolerHeads Prevail

GirlGoneLeBron: Here we go again.
GirlGoneGrady: Being hypocrites.
GirlGoneLeBron: Who don’t have lives.
GirlGoneGrady: But it’s really fun.
GirlGoneLeBron: And we love to do it.

Dear Celebrities Trying to Stay Relevant,
     We get it. You were famous. Once. You miss being photographed and having microphones shoved in your face. You miss the platform you once had on which to speak your mind. Now that it’s all gone, you’re desperate to get it back. Or maybe you were only semi-famous to begin with, hovering outside the A-list, waiting for your chance to shine. Or horror upon horror, you were never really famous, only the lap-dog to second-rate TV stars or people who have no reason to be famous themselves. But do you really have to pick on other celebs in the process? Do you really think that will get you anywhere? Do you? We realize that’s what we do all the time. But we’re just bloggers hiding behind the mask of anonymity, not wanting the fame that you so desperately crave.

You’re a great actress. Great and important. You have a gazillion Oscar nominations and two wins, which has to mean something right? So why stoop to such a level as to criticize Lindsay Lohan? It makes no sense. You don’t need the fame right now do you? Your back in the movies again, and even a box office success. Don’t jump on the let’s-criticize-Lindsay-Lohan bandwagon. You’re not in good company. Trust us. So when you feel a little down because your fame has slipped ever so slightly, go home and hug your golden statues. That should make you feel better.





We loved you in Fargo. We felt so sorry for poor Jerry Lundegaard we almost cried when the police caught him. Don’t people realize he just needed the money? Who cares if he had his wife kidnapped for the ransom? Geez. But seriously, stop with the Lohan hate. Yeah, she parties a lot. She shows up late for work and makes up excuses for not being there.  But she’s 20. And that’s what 20 year olds do. Not that we condone this, but you have to understand. I know this means settling for being that guy from Fargo who’s married to a Desperate Housewife, but that’s not so bad is it?





Oh no. We can’t even deal with this one. Wash your hair, do something with your life and come back and we’ll talk. Hanging out with Paris Hilton, sucking face with Mischa Barton does not a celebrity make.









You had that one song from the horrible Leonardo DiCaprio movie. We really liked it. (The song, not the movie.) But do you think that entitles you to criticize Tom Cruise for putting his child in Vanity Fair? Yes, Tom Cruise is kind of crazy right now. But that doesn’t mean that you can get your name in the news by disagreeing with what he does. He hasn’t personally attacked you.  And isn’t putting your child in Vanity Fair for the publicity just as bad as whoring your songs out to bad movies for the money?




Love,
The Girls

(Photo Credits: Getty Images)

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this

• #14 Comment from shadydeez 
  9/19/06 3:07 PM | Permalink

  Moby is insulting Tom Cruise for putting his daughter in Vanity Fair. What is Moby a moron? First we'll harass him and Katie to death because they don't want their daughter to be in  the public eye and then we'll critize him for finally showing us her face. Hey Moby? Grow some hair and go about your own business...I am totally camp Emenem
• #13 Comment from sneeholliday 
  9/19/06 1:38 PM | Permalink

  
  Paris need a light!!
• #12 Comment from guccisantucci 
  9/19/06 12:59 PM | Permalink

  Anthony Santucci is so hot
• #11 Comment from breezer762 
  9/19/06 12:39 PM | Permalink

  Where do you put the batteries for this thing?
• #10 Comment from campusmayhemking 
  9/19/06 4:42 AM | Permalink

  Males as a gender only have 2 choices really. We can marry a desperate housewife our own age or a desperate house wife a lot younger than us. Males dont really have a 3rd option.
  
  Anyways? who are these people??? I'm more famous than them. Well at the bar where I hang out.