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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The Onion | Bush  >
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
April 2006
The Onion | Immigrant's Song
STuBY | 4.28.06
Info Junkie | Pam Anderson's Monkey Love
Minister of Culture | That Thing Is Not On
Employee of the Week | Gas Bags
The Onion | Gitmo Freedom, Y'all
120 Questions for... George Saunders - Pt. 2
Info Junkie | Brazilian Call Girls and Hispanic Hysteria
The Onion | Harvard Copycat
Where Are They Now?
Info Junkie | Tony Snow Has Some Explaining To Do
120 Questions for... George Saunders
The Onion | Bush Hearts Hydrogen
NewsFight! | Seacrest vs. Abdul
Info Junkie | Bush Twins SpinGate
Look, This Is a Good Photo
Info Junkie | 120 Questions Begins Tomorrow!
Ssssshhh, TomKitten Cometh
STuBY | 4.21.06
Info Junkie | So Long Harriet Miers?
Minister of Culture | Remember, You're Not Playing
Who Knew? A Crooked Pol
Ask the... Donald Trump's Impossible Hair
Info Junkie | Trying Not To Be a Scandal Rag
Rumsfeld Getting Some Shock and Awe
NewsFight! | O'Reilly vs. Olbermann
Living in Spin | Deciding on a Moniker
Info Junkie | Too Many Babies
P.O.T.D.
Breakin 9: For His Holiness
We Have the Empty Place Surrounded
More Confusing Health News
Hate Speech Rights
Info Junkie | The Uterus Edition
P.O.T.D.
Pump and Run
That's Porktastic!
Iran to U.S.: You Ain't Seen Crazy Like Our Crazy
Info Junkie | McGriddle Love, Locklear Love and More
The Onion's American Voices | Gospel of Judas  
STuBY | 4.14.06
Info Junkie | We Believe in the Bunny
P.O.T.D.
Minister of Culture | If Only I Had a Giant Microwave Oven
NewsFight! | Mini Tribute Band Rumble
The Onion's American Voices | Nuke for Nuke's Sake
Info Junkie | Raising Holy Hell
P.O.T.D.
Ask the ... | Nomadic Tribe Member
The Onion's American Voices | Six Six Six
Background Check
It's Good for You/It May Kill You
Info Junkie | Protesting Like It's 1999
Sinister Pointy Hat Club
The Onion's American Voices | No Sunshine for 'Today'
Insane World Leader Watch | Let's Get Together!
Info Junkie | Leaking Approval Ratings
untitled
Infok Junkie | Iraq Loses a Beauty
The Onion's American Voices | 9/11 Film
It's Good for You/It May Kill You
Info Junkie | McBeals Served Here
Info Junkie | Breaking News: Star Wars Kid
Ask the... | Eva Maximized
Employee of the Week | Just Bad
The Onion's American Voices | Galactic Carnival!
STuBY | 4.7.06
Info Junkie | Punishing the Good for the Good
Abstract Rice
Minister of Culture | Fetch In Some Other Country!
The Onion's American Voices | Moussaoui
Living in Spin | Scott's Greatest Hits (?)
Info Junkie | Missing Links
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NewsFight! | Vieira vs. Couric
The Onion's American Voices | Tom DeLay
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Info Junkie | Ren Fair Terror
Insane World Leader Watch | Iran's Has Crazy Weapons
NewsFight! | Campbell vs. McKinney
Info Junkie | Florida Is Under Attack
Feed Photo of the Day
The Onion's American Voices | Jack in the Box
Info Junkie | Slime Jets Rule
« April 2006 Archive
Tuesday, April 25, 2006

NewsFight! | Seacrest vs. Abdul



The "Who'd Win in a Fight?" game is a timeless time-waster. We like wasting time, but with a point. And so: NewsFight! We'll pick two candidates from a batch of daily newsmakers and pit them against one another and ask you, Feed readers, to answer: Who'd Win in a Fight? (Is that raising the level of discourse or what?) And so:

When one STuBY winner takes on another STuBY winner you know it's going to be a throw down on the scale or Foreman vs. Ali, Tyson vs. Mitch Green and Rocky vs. Burgess Meredith. 

Who would win Ryan vs. Paula? Their very public (and transparently cooked-up) spat is intensifying...


Tale of the Tape


Ryan "My Love for Teri Will Never Die" Seacrest 
                                

Height: Taller than Paula
Age: 31
Employer:
Every celebrity-driven media outlet ever, including 'American Idol'
Mode of Attack:
Ubiquity
Popular Segment:
Post-kick off interview
Finishing Move:
America's Top 40 E! News Live Gladiators 2000 Takedown

------------


Paula "I Danced With a Cartoon Cat for MTV" Abdul


Height:
Shorter than Mel Gibson
Age:
43
Employer:
'American Idol'
Mode of Attack:
Nonsensical kindness
Popular Segment:
When she appears to be on somemedication
Finishing Move:
Laker Girl Eye Gouge






 

 

 

 

 

 


Previous NewsFights!
- Bill O'Reilly vs. Keith Olbermann
- MiniKiss vs. Tiny Kiss
- Meredith Vieira vs. Katie Couric
- Naomi Campbell vs. Cynthia McKinney
- Timberlake vs. K-Fed
- Sean Penn vs. Ann Coulter
- Kerry vs. Cheney
- Laura Ingraham vs. Keith Olbermann



thefeedblog at 12:19:00 PM EDT Blog about this entry
This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
  • #1 Comment from klausdmk 
    4/25/06 12:43 PM Permalink
    Deep Throat getting pretty old. 92 years and will be remember for Watergate coverup. It is sad in a way that he may die soon and his recognition will soon be forgotten. Deep Throat is a catchy name.