EncycloFEEDia | Oprahcracy

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Oprahcracy is social phenomenon in which unlimited cultural power is held by a single woman. This cultural phenomenon began in the United States in the 1990s and shows no signs of waning.

Though largely a female-driven phenomenon, Oprahcracy relies heavily on the reactionary principles of a male-dominated workforce that, in turn, relegates women to a steady diet of daytime television and group therapy.

The Oprahcrat retains power by savvy business acumen and by staying within her realm of power -- the media -- but will occasionally venture into politics (if the cause will further extend power in a given medium).

Essential to every Oprahcracy is a couch. The purpose of the couch is similar to that of a pulpit, providing a platform for the daily message. A matching love seat can also be featured; that is, unless theOprahcrat wishes to stand.

The Oprahcrat has unrivaled power over publishing, television and to a lesser degree movies and radio. Once a writer or personality has been chosen for stardom, he or she immediately ascends to the upper echelon of the industry. Once anointed, though, that person may not do anything to betray the Oprahcrat's trust or in any way defame her name. For example, an annointed work of art must be true, or be based on proven fact. The followers of an Oprahcracy will often insist on knowing where an idea for a song came from, where the story for a book originated, or whose life a particular movie is based on. Should it be revealed that artistic license was adopted in any form, a public crucifixion is ordered and executed. (Crucifixions remain legal in an Oprahcracy, however controversial.) Following each execution, the public must immediately undergo a purification process that involves reading a John Steinbeck novel.

The Oprahcrat also solidifies power through the manipulation of emotions, categorizing some days as jovial, some as serious, others despairing and bitter and silly. Periodically, however, the Oprahcrat's forum slips into the throes of sentimentality. To assuage major tragedies and cultural injustices, the Oprahcrat will draw on her ample resources to shower audience members with Pontiacs, Sony Plasma TV's and MP3 Players, Red Envelope Loufah Gift Sets, Kate Spade Handbags, Super Soakers and other offerings. The effect, however, is to make everyone feel better about situationsthat nothing can be done about in the first place; and, also, mascara gets everywhere.

While the Oprahcrat claims to speak for every woman in her domain, she is in fact quite discernible. She is extremely wealthy, unmarried, childless, social and stylish. Yet, she attracts masses of the opposite, all of whom seek her presence to temper the epic boredom of their lives. To these unfortunate people, the Oprahcrat reinforces the message of female complexity and male inadequacy, while falling just short of permanently damaging the societal framework that makes it possible for unemployed women to afford personal trainers.

Failed attempts at cultural hegemony: Marthacracy, Pariscism, Vanderbiltorianism, RichardSimmonsism

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This entry has 106 comments: (Add your own)

#106 Comment from rqdq1
7/20/06 1:39 AM | Permalink

I continued to be amazed at the number of people sucked in into the Oprah Marketing Machine. I don't have have a problem with self promotion per se, but come on now. Is there a bigger ego on the planet (Ego-prah?) Anyone who dares embarassas her, she crushes with her empire (see store clerks that do not bow to her wishes or writers who embarass her mighty book club (which, by the way, is not a free endorsement).
What sickens me the most is the methods she uses to stay in the headlines. Funny how she revealed tragedy in her past as her show began to slip: Ratings drop....oh my, I was a hooker.....rating drop....poor me, I was addicted to drugs....ratings drop....did i mention I had an abortion?....ratings drop....I'm so wonderful, I'll giove you are cars (even though I am not paying for them and most of you will need to sell them to take care of the taxes).
Then there is the magazine she started and named after herself...and is always on the cover....Oprah after hours....crashing weddngs (um, isn't it supposed to be about the bride and groom? Then we have the TV specials where people are brought on to tell the world how Oprah helped them in some way. Sure, she helps charities-if they are high profile and she gets gets the exposure to feed the beast.
#105 Comment from meltowhin
5/21/06 8:48 PM | Permalink

I don't know whether the writer of this excerpt meant this to be a joke or not; if not I don't understand how you people can be so hypocritical of a woman who gives so much of herself. She is a very intelligent woman who has earned everything that she has. Remember she didn't have an easy upbringing. I am so very proud of her for all of her accomplishments. I am proud to be a black woman because of her. I grew up a poor person and I'm still poor; but I would never put her down for not giving to me. I grew up in the land of oportunity just as she did, I could had had the same goals that she had, I'm not jealous of her for what she has done. I wish that I was in her shoes - I'm not - but that doesn't mean that I couldn't have been. She does more good in one hour of a day than some people have done their entire lives. Give her her props- or don't say anything at all!
#104 Comment from meltowhin
5/21/06 8:38 PM | Permalink

I don't know whether the writer of this excerpt meant this to be a joke or not; if not I don't understand how you people can be so hypocritical of a woman who gives so much of herself. She is a very intelligent woman who has earned everything that she has. Remember she didn't have an easy upbringing. I am so very proud of her for all of her accomplishments. I am proud to be a black woman because of her. I grew up a poor person and I'm still poor; but I would never put her down for not giving to me. I grew up in the land of oportunity just as she did, I could had had the same goals that she had, I'm not jealous of her for what she has done. I wish that I was in her shoes - I'm not - but that doesn't mean that I couldn't have been. She does more good in one hour of a day than some people have done their entire lives. Give her her props- or don't say anything at all!
MelinVA
#103 Comment from michelwillia6
5/21/06 8:11 PM | Permalink

Oprah's not afraid to talk about how drugs and STD's are killing the world and that's what I love!!!!!!!!!Stay strong!!!
#102 Comment from bellacharmed3
5/21/06 8:09 PM | Permalink

i thnk oprah has done such wonders for people across the country and other nations...she will say and broach topics no other celeberity would ever..i beleve she has god in her but in no way is even close to mother theresa....

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EncycloFEEDia | Oprahcracy