EncycloFEEDia | Bondemonium

Bondemonium: is a mass psychological state first documented in the San Francisco area in the early 21st century. The focus or progenitor of Bondemonium is San Francisco Giants outfielder, Barry Bonds.

(Getty)

Mr. Bonds holds the record for home runs in single season (73). Soon, he could overtake Henry 'Hank' Aaron as the career leader in home runs (Bonds recently tied Babe Ruth, further escalating the intensity of Bondemonium to 'American Idol' levels.)

Bonds' hitting prowess, league records, neck size and MVP honors have all been overshadowed by multiple allegations of steroid abuse. Though the allegations have yet to be proved, recent articles and documents substantiate the allegations to the point of being irrefutable. In spite of this enormous asterisk next to his stats (and those of Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Keith Hernandez among others), SportsCenter, a news show on ESPN, leads with Bonds on every broadcast -- even if he isn't playing. Or even if his son isn't the bat boy.

In any state of Bondemonium, much of the blame can be placed on the world of sports casting, in which hours of soundspace are utilized to create intriguing story angles. A Bondemonium, however, exists within a vacuum of information: Though allegations of mischief are laid before the public, no concrete evidence is provided, no statements, no admissions, nothing but innuendo. Nevertheless, a story-angle materializes based upon the very lack of a story-angle itself, stirring the public into a catatonic frenzy of confused irritation and ennui.

To many, Bonds is perceived as a petulant, egomaniacal and all-around terrible teammate. But, to the people of San Francisco he seems normal. This is not to say that these Northern California baseball fans are completely delusional, but more that -- in the throes of a Bondemonium (especially with the NFL' s 49ers and the NBA's Golden State Warriors doing so poorly) -- there is no way to avoid the manifestation of hysterical symptoms.

Though Bondemonium may eventually ebb or come to an abrupt, painful halt due to proof of steroid use, Bonds himself will never feel the scorn some say he deserves. The reason being that Major League Baseball Managers, avid fans and experts will not let it happen because of one factor: Statisticaddiction, or, a powerful craving that affects people whose favorite teams haven't played well in years.

Related Topics: Nazism, Jim Jonism, Creationism and Wilmer Valerramamania.

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This entry has 5 comments: (Add your own)

#5 Comment from scubapop01
5/25/06 5:03 PM | Permalink

the girls hit a nerve with our so called leader
more power to them BUSH IS NOT GOOD FOR OUR COUNTRY
HE IS FOR CHINA AND JAPAN THEY OWN US JUST LET THEM CASH IN THERE BONDS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO THE GOOD OLD U.S.A.
#4 Comment from johnflavin123
5/25/06 3:38 PM | Permalink

I LOVE the Dixie Chicks. Finally some Americans with brains and the balls to speak the truth.
#3 Comment from jjgarrahy
5/25/06 2:09 PM | Permalink

They are a no talent group of women who are also known as The Dixie PIgs".
#2 Comment from jtvend
5/24/06 9:41 PM | Permalink

I am an America, The Dikie Chicks have no clue on what it takes to support America's values. They will never see a penny of my money to sell their lyrics.
#1 Comment from ejacobek
5/24/06 5:15 PM | Permalink

Give the guy credit he deserves.
He hit the homers.
He used whatever means was available just like anybody else.
If Babe Ruth had steroids available he would have used them.
Babe Ruth was a slob, he ate and drank like a pig and was certainly not a athelete.
At the very least Bonds looks the part.

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EncycloFEEDia | Bondemonium