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« August 2006 Archive
Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Minister and the Macaca


       -- LARRY KING LIVE: Exclusive With The Minister of Culture --

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

KING: Tonight, exclusive, the controversy everyone is talking about. The Minister of Culture explains his recent use of a word no one has ever heard before, but which most certainly is racist. He's here for the hour. We'll take your calls, too. It's next on LARRY KING LIVE.

KING: First, here's an update from Kelly Wallace.

KELLY WALLACE, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Good evening, Larry. A controversial firestorm was raised earlier this week at a singles bingo tournament in Lubbock when the Minister of Culture -- the evening's celebrity toastmaster -- used the word Macaca in reference to a woman who had just won the door prize.


 (Video Clip)

KELLY WALLACE: At first, everyone laughed... because they thought he was burping the alphabet. But then people got pretty offended.

KING: Thanks, Kelly. Now, Mr. Minister. Help me with something because it's fascinating. Let's say someone calls you a Macaca.

MINISTER: Yes.

KING: You're not a Macaca.

MINISTER: Yes, I am. So are you.

KING: No, no. You're not a Macaca.

MINISTER: Yes. Well, as a matter of fact I'm not.

KING: Okay.

MINISTER: But, you see, we all are. As fellow partakers in their lugubrious and reticent victimization.

KING: Let's go back a sec. What exactly is a Macaca?

MINISTER: The Macaca -- which means "People Who Cut Their Own Hair" -- are an indigenous people of North America who live around New Jersey's Six Flags Great Adventure. After the formation of the Iroquois confederation, the Macaca became known as "Reluctant Major League Lacrosse Season-Ticket Holders," sworn to guard the other tribes and neighboring factions from the threat of Tim Burton/Johnny Depp projects.

KING: So, it's not racist.

MINSTER: It totally is.

KING: Do you regret it?

MINISTER: No, I don't -- It belongs to the past. The only moment we have is right now sitting here and talking with each other. You can't see my feet can you? I forgot to put my shoes on.

KING: We're going to take phone calls. You love Don Rickles, right? Tell them.

MINISTER: I love Don Rickles.

KING: He loves Don Rickles. Chip from Santa Rosa, you're on the air.

CALLER: Thanks for taking my call. Big fan, Mr. Minister. I saw you at the Cats With Attitude Listening Tour in Albany last April.

KING: What's your question, Chip?

CALLER: Right. Mr. Minister, I wanted to ask... I was just wondering... how do you like your steak?

MINISTER: Do I have to answer that, Larry?

KING: No. Jenn from Tampa, you're live with the Minister of Culture.

CALLER: Hello, Mr. Minister. I'd like to know: See, I live in a nice neighborhood. How do I know if there's a Macaca living next-door?

MINISTER: Who lives next-door to you?

CALLER: Travis Tritt

MINSTER: Yep. He's a Macaca.

KING: How do you feel about that, Jenn?

CALLER: I feel violated.

KING: Abe from Orange County, hello.

CALLER: Hello, Larry. Hello, Mr. Minister. My question concerns the legendary Flying Macacas. Were they racist?

MINISTER: They most certainly were not. Larry, does your audience know about The Flying Macacas?

KING: Best explain.

MINISTER: One of the most famous acrobatic troupes of the 1950's, The Flying Macacas thrilled big tops across the country with their signature "Welcome to America" routine, in which one acrobat held aloft a torch while the other acrobats one-by-one swung down and set themselves on fire.

KING: I saw them do that on 'I Love Lucy.' Mahmood from Raleigh, what's on your mind?

CALLER: Hello.

MINISTER: Welcome to America, Mahmood!

KING: He's, um, calling from North Carolina.

MINISTER: And so why can't I welcome him to America...?

KING: You can.. it's just...

MINISTER: Look, some of my best friends are Macacas.

KING: That's the most racist thing I've ever heard.

CALLER: I'm naked.

KING: That's all the time we have. Tomorrow night on LARRY KING LIVE we'll show you the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis "truce" clip and we'll cry. Thanks for joining us and good night.

TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 555-CNN-NOOZ OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT http://www.ding.ali.cio.us.com/

Come back Next Thursday for the Minister of Culture's next termination.

Aired August 17, 2006 - 21:00 ET

 
                            -- PREVIOUS MEMORANDUMS --
 
· This Is Not Happening: Vacation Photos
· We'll Be In Touch: Mesh Shirts
· I See Bored People: M. Night Shyamalan
· You Peaked Too Soon: The Robosaurus
· We're Trending Downward: Beach Weddings
· A Drain on Resources: Kudos
· Not An Effective Use of Our Time: Sparklers
· I'm Over It: The Talos Outdoor Cooking Suite
· You're Embarrassing Me:World's Greatest Dad Products
· Don't Show, Don't Tell: The Framed Photo of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's Body
· At Home With: The Minister of Culture
· We're Going to Pass: The World Cup
· I Question Your Dedication: The U.S.A. National Bikini Team
· Thanks for Reaching Out: President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran
· People Are Laughing: Word of the Day
· Please Be Seated: Toastmasters International
· You're Out: Major League Baseball Managers 
· Past the Point of Reconciliation: Marshmallow Peeps
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· The End of Our Working Relationship: Cellular Headsets
· It's Been a Great Run: The 78th Annual Academy Awards
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· We're Going In a New Direction: The Rolling Stones




thefeedblog at 2:08:00 PM EDT Blog about this entry
This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
  • #2 Comment from cronusdev99 
    8/19/06 9:25 PM Permalink
    Finally the Macacas and their proud history are being recognized. If it takes a dumbass redneck like George Allen to bring attention to the struggles of the Macacas, so be it.
  • #1 Comment from johnmac665 
    8/17/06 5:17 PM Permalink
    Larry King is cool.  I remember listening to him on late night radio.