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Monday, August 21, 2006

The Onion | Confessions of the Tabloid Stars



Every day, The Onion hits the streets and asks people to weigh-in on the most pressing issues facing the country. We'll be serving it up to you every day, so keep coming back.

JonBenet Suspect Confesses

A former teacher has been arrested in Thailand for the murder of JonBenet Ramsey. What do you think?

 

"Was JonBenet the one who shot Joey Buttafucco because he cut off the penis of Tonya Harding's husband, OJ Simpson?"
Troy Canzona, Caterer

   


- Get more news at The Onion

-------------------------------------------------

If the Onion had asked you about the recent confession, what would you have said? Answer in the comments section.



thefeedblog at 11:12:00 AM EDT Blog about this entry
This entry has 4 comments: (Add your own)
  • #4 Comment from johnmac665 
    8/21/06 7:35 PM Permalink
    During my military service computer goods came up missing and a investigation was started without any leads.  What the Security Police did not know is the FBI started looking around and set up a sting operation.  They found out the local Security Police was robbing the military base and selling the goods locally and setting up deals for military goods.  The evidence of obscured with too many false leads and no clear thieves.

    The Security Police was caught when they decided to sell a F-16 combat jet engine and carted it off the base with federal agents waiting for them.  The moral of the story in a case where items are inventoried, signed out, and locations recorded and then no leads of whom to convict it was the police who could obscure the trail of crime.  The whole thing made State papers in Utah--that loved to editorialize about the local military bases--when as they looked bad.

    Ten years is a long time for a murder investigation with no clear leads and the Ramsey family appears wealthy, so my question is, how close were they to local law enforcement?  I learned during my military years that even officers clown around and love to sling authority here and there with real lives at stake, and I learned to look at a hard question, what are they doing?  There really appears a conflict of interest because the age of the crime is so serious that it still looks bad to suddenly find someone now almost a full ten years later.  Is there going to be any independent review of this case?

  • #3 Comment from johnmac665 
    8/21/06 6:09 PM Permalink
    JonBenet Ramsey has been in the news media for about ten years and yuck.  It is a shameful disgrace how the news media industry kept one crime in publication all of those years in the propaganda of abused innocence that makes Boulder, Colorado, look like a murder capital.


    When the law enforcement do find a suspect he is already in Thailand over nine years later and have him deported back to the United States—the age of the crime already has many people suspicious of motives because the evidence is so old without clear suspects beyond the parents.  Ten years of sensational news media that uses this stuff like setting off 10,000 bottle rockets at a time for attention, people stare, and then the resulting fear and hysteria causes lawmakers to have muddled thinking, distorted perception, and irrational behavior.


    This is fear making stuff for almost ten years of it.


    It is appropriate this story has appeared on The Onion known for satire and elements of truth, http://www.theonion.com/ .
  • #2 Comment from merriam547 
    8/21/06 12:38 PM Permalink
    The JonBenet Ramsey story has been in the news media for almost a decade since after Christmas 1996 in Boulder, Colorado, to this August 2006 until the arrest of the murder suspect John Mark Karr in Thailand; Fox News ( http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,209586,00.html and http://www.foxnews.com/national/index.html for video) has been busy repeating the story and getting people up to date; for almost ten years I have seen the JonBenet pictures grace the covers of the tabloids in the supermarkets where families shop for their groceries.  There are thousands of murders in the United States each year and the 1,000th prisoner execution is believed to have already happened after the resumption of the death penalty in the United States, and thousands of combatants are dead in Iraq and Afghanistan conflict with over 2,500 U.S. combatants dead--death happens.  This leads to the question of why was JonBenet so idealized in the media?  The answer really came from Hollywood that is famous for more image than substance because JonBenet was a young girl who really knew nothing of the world beyond her pageant frenzied parents John Ramsey and the late Patricia Ramsey who died of cancer (short biography at CNN http://www.cnn.com/US/9703/ramsey.case/whos.html of http://www.cnn.com/index.html ).  The answer is beauty and intelligence, JohnBenet in her films displayed in the news media makes her looks so intelligent as a dressed up person she really looks like a intelligent person with an idealized beauty capturing the media attention for almost 10 years despite the fact she is a media product of her parents.  


    It is about appearing intelligent with beauty in our modern video and television oriented world that often centers around the idealized Entertainment Industry for role models that are really not the average people.  Nine and one half years is a media miracle for attention for someone who really was a product of beauty pageants.

  • #1 Comment from aledelec 
    8/21/06 11:49 AM Permalink
    I think Karr gave a false confession for the notoriety, and so that he could enjoy flying trans-continental business class, complete with the champagne dinner and Tom Cruise movie.  If his ex-wife says he was at home every single Christmas during their marriage, why disbelieve her?  As if an EX-wife is going to cover for an EX-husband?  That the ransom note demanded $118K, the EXACT value of John Ramsey's Christmas bonus package, shows that the killer knew of Ramsey's financial details and tasted sour grapes over it.  Are the authorities really so anxious for an arrest that common sense goes out the window?  What does that achieve?  Justice? Or just a false sense of relief?