Rewinding the Week in Our News VCR

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Hi there. We want to extend a warm welcome to our week in review. Take our moist hand as we stroll through the damp and somewhat malodorous muck of yesterweek. Keep your eyes open and set the laser guns on stun.

There are some signs so ominous, so undeniably prescient that one can do nothing but submit him/herself to fate. We received such a sign on Monday at 9:00 AM. Our office stank! Not just un-showered, garlic-eating coworker funk. But genuine gas. So, we evacuated and blamed New Jersey. An ominous beginning.

By Tuesday, no one solved the mystery of the funk, just as no one is able to solve the mystery of the Democrats' 100 hours. Who's keeping track? Do days when football is played count? Can anyone see through this ridiculous rhetoric? Luckily, more important issues rolled in, with the debate of the rights of wheelchair-bound patrons using the drive-thru.

More signs emerged of a rough week by Wednesday with thousands of birds dropping out of the sky and Fox News declaring just about everyone an Enemy of the State. By then, we had decided only strong whisky and Super Bowl highlights would help us SURGE to Friday. We'll need the help of 21,000 more troops to do so.

Luckily, by Thursday, we encountered two signs of hope: Trump and Rosie laid down their verbal nunchucks and made a brilliant, uplifting musical. Singing heals. You know that. No less inspiring was the ban on celeb sex tapes. Dustin Diamond: you ruined everything. It couldn't remain this hopeful, as the congressman from Oregon reminded us: Klingons had invaded the White House.

By Friday: No. Hope. We're. Doomed. It's enough to make a the strongest of men cry.

Tags: week in review

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This entry has 23 comments: (Add your own)

#23 Comment from wildwon830
1/16/07 11:33 AM | Permalink

Can't tell from the film if it is Bell's Palsy. She is evidently unable to lift either eyebrow despite all the animated expressions (botox?). That is one of the rapid ways to determine between Bell's and a stroke. With a stroke you can raise both eyebrows, with Bell's you can only raise one.
#22 Comment from tommymarsha
1/15/07 7:51 AM | Permalink

I love Paula to peices!! But I am concerned for her. I hope she slows down some of her partying. Anyone can see she has issues.
#21 Comment from jeroldrnp
1/14/07 9:52 PM | Permalink

the american way
build them up and when they make it rip them apart till their is
nothing left regardless, i smell = envy, jelousy, hate for famous
people and their success. sad society we live in
#20 Comment from mrtsim3
1/14/07 7:52 PM | Permalink

she does not drink. she is a nice . so leave her a lone
#19 Comment from hpandop
1/14/07 4:49 PM | Permalink

Pappy Bush, cries like a baby, when he "thinks about his wonderful children"...

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Rewinding the Week in Our News VCR | 1.8.07