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2:55:00 PM EDT
We Must Not Know
I have done a lot of reading lately about the "Dark Night of the Soul."
My latest discovery is a book by the same name by Gerald G. May, a psychiatrist who explores the connection between darkness and spiritual growth.
I believe that my writing comes out of my inner darkness. May says this darkness is a good thing. He quotes from John of the Cross, who believed this darkness of the soul is "night more kindly than dawn." According to May, we cannot fully liberate ourselves from our fears alone because "our defenses and resistances will not permit it." The "Dark Night of the Soul" guides us toward truth.
I can see how writing for me is akin to the biblical concept of salvation:
May writes:
Hebrew words connoting salvation often contain a root made of the letters y and s, yodh and shin. One example is the Hebrew name of Jesus, Yeshua, "God saves." This y-s root implies being set free from bondage or confinement, enabled to move freely, empowered to be and do according to one's true nature. In contrast to life-denying asceticism that advocates freedom from desire, Teresa [of Avila] and John see authentic transformation as leading to freedom for desire. For them, the essence of all human desire is love. (73)
I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said that as I write, I feel an intense love for my imagined reader. Unless I feel this love, this spark, my writing is dead.
May also says that: "To guide us toward the love that we most desire, we must be taken where we could not and would not go on our own. And lest we sabotage the journey, we must not know where we are going" (73).
This would explain why I have no interest in tight plots.
IT IS THE JOURNEY ITSELF THAT IS IMPORTANT.
I believe it isthe love for my imagined reader (and for my characters) that frees me, not the writing itself.
Thanks to all of you who have posted questions in the entry "Theresa's Book of Questions." There's still time to post a few more. Click HERE to post.
I will post in my journal at least one more time before we leave early Saturday.
May's book helps me to see myself more clearly as a human being and as a writer.
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Sonnet XVI
From "Fatal Interview"
Edna St.Vincent Millay
I dreamed I moved among the Elysian fields,
In converse with sweet women long since dead;
And out of blossoms which that meadow yields
I wove a garland for your living head.
Danai, that was the vessel for a day
Of golden Jove, I saw, and at her side,
Whom Jove the Bull desired and bore away,
Europa stood, and the Swan's featherless bride.
All these were mortal women, yet all these
Above the ground had had a god for guest;
Freely I walked beside them and at ease,
Addressing them, by them again addressed,
And marvelled nothing, for remembering you,
Wherefore I was among them well I knew.
Finally-as you cast off- What kind of journey did your ancestors make? What were the obstacles? What are the darkest minutes on board? What music corresponds to this? What music do you bring? What experience is like music? What music do you associate with memories? What are the sensory details of these incidents? Who do you wish you could talk to? What would you say? Does this remind you what your characters forgot to say but must? What are the mundane grimy tasks on the ship? What are the harsh confrontations with Nature? What are glimpses of Nature's unpredictable respite? What is night like filled with stars? What moments are stars? What stars do you reach for in your life? What do you yearn for on your return? What do your senses demand? How is the bond between you and your shipmate altered? What conflicts arise that illuminate your characters? How is your partner's support reflected in your characters? How are you transformed? What events initiate this? How does home look different? What do you do that is new upon arrival? What habits repeat?
Success in unchartered waters! Thanks again for the dialogue and inspiration!
ggw07 -
this is a brilliant entry and so true. I hope that you have a blast on your trip and will be thinking of you......... 3 weeks? judi
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my dear, this entry makes my head hurt. toooooooooo deep for me right now!
your semester must be over, and you must be knee-deep in alligators getting ready for The Journey. i can't tell you how much i will miss you, nor how much i hope you have a most incredible and wonderful trip. i have no questions to pose, just looking forward to all your answers when you return.
BUT - what about vicky's list of questions in the comments on the Book of Questions entry? it's a wonderful list, i may use it in a post. i'll ask her firt if it's okay.
Grace and Peace be with you on the river - my thoughts will also be there. -
If I don't get a chance to tell you this before you leave, have a great time!
Jude
5/13/05 5:04 PM
V