Inner and Outer Demons

1:44:37 AM CDT

Yeah...I got a few nasty comments about the drawing of Toby Keith I posted on Friday night.  No surprise, really.  Trolls have been a part of the "Inner and Outer Demon" experience almost since its beginning -- yet I'm still clueless as to why they keep coming back.  ?  There is one nutty troll/stalker I have to keep blocking because she comes up with new AIM screennames in order to leave nasty comments.  Get a life, honey.  It only takes me a few seconds to delete the comments you probably spend an hour trying to bang out on your little keyboard with your sweaty unibrow all furrowed in sweaty concentration.  Go ahead and give me that "where's my freedom of speech???" bit.  You know how I get a kick out of that one!

The other comments were predictably retarded as well.  One of these lovely trolls assumed I listened to rap songs about killing cops and that's why I couldn't appreciate the musical genius that is Toby Keith.  She also made a reference to my dead mother for good measure.  Classy!  And of course there was the suggestion that I have no feelings about soldiers dying in Iraq or the victims of 9/11.  Huh?? That's the assumption you automatically make because I think Toby Keith is a d-bag???  Where do these people come from?  SIGH  I guess I'll never be a hit with the ribbon magnet crowd.

To show there are no hard feelings, I drew a picture of what I imagine these "Toby Trolls" look like.  I tried to be as flattering as possible. 

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 34 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:11:15 AM CDT

I had sorta planned to create a meme (why do we j-landers love 'em so much?) with questions about the worst boss you've ever had, but I got too caught up with my ugly drawings and zombie movies and Saturday night fun to get around to it.

I currently have a very cool boss, but I've had two or three horrible ones in my 25 years as an employee.  One of the worst was "Charlie" who was the manager of a discount store I worked at when I was a teen.  He was a short, fat, somewhat effiminate old man who nobody liked -- not even the butt-kissing employees.  We called him "Mr. Mc______", but referred to him as "The Toad" when he was out of earshot.  He had a rotten personality and no communication skills whatsoever.  He treated people like shit and seemed shocked that nobody liked him.  Here's a little tip for manager types in charge of a lot of highschool-aged employees:  They will do a half-assed job just to spite you.  They will only do the bare minimum...and maybe not even that much.  Treat them like human beings once in awhile and they might return the favor by being good workers and making you and your store look good.  Ol' Charles was a failure as a manager and as a man.  Oh well.

I googled Chuck, but didn't find a photo or even any mention of him.  I made this drawing from memory and kinda surprised myself at how accurate it was.  Some inner demons remain vivid even after two decades.

 

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 21 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:48:19 AM CDT

I'll probably catch hell for this whole entry, but I'm posting it anyway....

I hate country music.  Everything about it is just embarrassing -- the songs, the musicians, the fans, the dancing, the clothes. (shudder)

The biggest goober of them all is Toby Keith.  He has a cult following among people who think you can't be a true American if you don't wrap yourself in the flag, love war, hate foreigners and believe everything the government tells you.  That's become the post-9/11 definition of "patriotism".  Sad.

I can't do anything about it but rant, vote....and make ugly drawings.

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 22 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:12:09 AM CDT

A good J-pal has challenged me to do this meme...

 

 

 

 

If you came to my house… 

I’d probably feed you:  Broiled rib-eye steaks (if you arrive on a Friday night), and then we'd watch an old episode of "Joan of Arcadia" on the SciFi channel followed by "What Not to Wear" on TLC.  It's a Friday night tradition.

And offer you this to drink:  Beer

I’d undoubtedly ask if you’d read:  Any dark, disturbing memoir or true crime novel

I’d want to play this music for you: Some alternative pop from the early 90's -- my favorite music era.

I’d want to tell you about: How the media is being way too kind to that old fartbucket John McCain

I’d probably suggest a game of: Pictionary.  If you're on my team, you'll win.

I would definitely show off:  How Lumpy can eat an entire Pepperidge Farm frozen cake in under twenty minutes (not neccessarily thawed either)

I might get on the computer and show you: this or this or this

If it was a long enough visit, we might watch:  a zombie movie on dvd...and you'd have to love it or you'd be asked to leave.

 

Ok, that was me-- now....

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 22 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:13:52 AM CDT

I'm no longer surprised when I read stories like this. 

If you don't feel like reading it, I'll paraphrase: Troy King, Alabama's attorney general was a rising political star in the republican party.  He was one of those "values" politicians who hated gays and banned the sale of sex toys (vibrators and such) in his state. 

He was allegedly caught by his wife having an adulterous sexual tryst...with another man.  Yeah.  It's not even shocking anymore.  I've always said that the people who are the most vocally anti-sex/anti-gay are usually the ones with the darkest secrets.  Their shame gives them the energy to circulate petitions and tirelessly demand laws be passed to "protect" marriage.  They're the ones who claim traditional values are under attack from all sorts of invisible enemies.  Inevitably, they get caught.  Ask Idaho senator Larry "Meet Me at the Urinals" Craig about that.

I'm not real happy with this sketch of King...but I can't stop making ugly drawings.  There will be more next weekend.  (sorry)

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 25 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

2:56:41 AM CDT

I've really been into making these ugly portraits lately -- so there will probably be a glut of them in the next few weeks.  Just warning you ahead of time.

Dennis Miller was reliably funny in the 80's as a regular on Saturday Night Live, and then later as the host of an HBO series where he practically cornered the market on quasi-intellectual humor with hit-and-miss cultural references.  And then...  And then he had a long string of career failures including his own late-night talk show (which was almost as disastrous as Chevy Chase's) and an embarrassing stint on "Monday Night Football".  He disappeared after that ... only to come blazing back as a right-wing comedian after 9/11.  He saw a nation waving flags and loving George W. Bush --  and decided to make some money off the patriotic fervor.  This didn't work out for him either, but at least he got some airtime on MSNBC and Fox "News".  Dennis Miller's Ivy League frat boy smugness just didn't get him very far with midwestern republicans who tend to think Jeff Foxworthy is a comic genius.

Nice try, Dennis. 

 

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 19 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:54:47 AM CDT

It's been some 18 months since I first started posting my own personal artwork here, and I seldom talk about how I make it.  I'm not qualified to give art instructions or anything -- I can only tell you what I do and why I do it.  I'm just an amateur afterall.  I have a bachelor's degree from KU's school of fine arts, but I can't honestly say I really learned anything from all those life drawing, illustration and design classes except that the center of a person's eye lines up exactly with the top of their ears.  That and humans love symetry.  I just saved you from having to someday pay back six thousand dollars in student loans.  You're welcome.  ;)  Just draw if you want to -- keep doing it and you'll get better every day.

PENS

I almost never draw with a pencil for the same reason I never use felt tip pens: I press too hard!  If I used those I'd constantly be sharpening broken pencil leads or throwing away pens with shmooshed tips.  I prefer using those 'uniball' pens you can buy cheaply by the boxful at any office supply store.  (I'm an office supply store freak and can spend hours in them) I mostly use the black ink pens, but have lately been using blue ones because the color blue doesn't always read on a scanner and you can get interesting results -- the line fades in and out.  I discover a lot of stuff by accident.  I have a special fondness for pens that have damaged points and/or are dying.  You can really do fun stuff with impaired drawing tools.  No, really -- a broken pen can take your drawing to a place you didn't plan on.

PAPER

I'm not fancy about paper either.  I buy the reams of 8.5" x 11" copier paper and that will usually last me about two months.  It's not exactly cheap, but there is enough there so that you don't stress about messing up and crumpling up a third of it.  My mom used to get infuriated with me when I'd toss paper that only had a few marks on it.  I still hate when a drawing 'starts wrong'.  Sketchbooks are convenient if you draw on the go, but I no longer shell out big bucks for them.  A legal pad works just fine.

PHYSICAL DRAWING SPACE

I have a drafting table that I never use...it's been piled with books and papers for years.  I usually sit on the floor with a glass coffee table in front of me.  It's maybe not great for my spine or my joints, but it feels perfect when I settle in for a night of drawing and/or writing.  You have to find a place that feels "right".

LIGHTING

Most of my best work is done at night. The light source I use for most of the drawings you've seen here is a floor lamp with 60 watt bulb.  I pull it within three feet of the table, and that's enough for me...but most people would find it too dark.  I like drawing in low light because the finished peices often look a little "overcooked".  What I mean by that is that there is often too much shading and too much detail...it's an obsessive, labored look that has become sort of my style.  The other benefit is that the final product looks very different in normal light. It's like making a surprise for yourself.  What may look like total shit at midnight might be a masterpiece in daylight -- and vice versa.

DISTRACTIONS

This is a weird confession even though it will surprise none of my regular j-pals....I always draw in front of the TV...and the TV usually has a zombie movie playing.  Especially the weekend drawings.  It's usually 1984's "Return of the Living Dead" because it always puts me in a good mood.  I've seen it so many times that I really don't need to pay attention to the screen. Plus the soundtrack is beyond good.  I can't really get work done if I'm interested in every nuance of a new sitcom episode or a movie I haven't seen before.  ROTLD has the added benefit of driving Lumpy from the room -- he has threatened more than once to destroy the DVD.

My point is that there needs to be some sort of distraction to create.  It takes some of your attention someplace else so that your mind and hand can do their thing without your brain overthinking it and ruining it. 

So...those are my secrets and tips.  Just draw.  Or write.  Or both.  And send me any tricks you discover that work for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 20 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:33:52 AM CDT

I drew this for a friend a few days ago.  I know her -- but I don't.  "It's complicated". 

(grin)

 

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 27 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:03:46 AM CDT

When I first started copying down three letter combinations on license plates to illustrate -- I usually skipped over those with Z's and X's.  So I should have expected an abundance of both those letters when I asked j-pals to send in theirs.  Luckily, a few of you took pity on me and offered plagoon help.  Thank you!  I've got a few left that I'll try to get to next weekend.

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 22 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:52:05 AM CDT

DAD

What do 80 year old widowed retired farmers do in their spare time?  They make terrariums of course!  Seriously.  My sisters took him to some class where a woman instructed people how to make them and he instantly found yet another thing to be enthusiastic about.  In his lifetime, he's hoarded all kinds of antique glass jugs, bottles and car battery cases (which used to be made of glass long ago).  In our last phone conversation we barely had time to touch on his garden or his cats because this new terrarium development needed a lot of in-depth discussion and analysis.  I sure love the old guy.

READERS' PLAGOONS

As promised, I made these little illustrations based on the three letter license plate combinations sent in by J-pals.  I barely made a dent in the list -- so there will be more to come. 

 

 

Written by toonguykc Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 25 comments: Show Recent | Add your own