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12:10:00 AM CST
Feeling Quiet
Ready to be offended?
Just so you know -- I don't purposely try to offend my J-Land pals. Weirdly and unexpectedly, most of my friends/readers are Christian conservatives.
I started this blog back in June of 2004. I considered myself to be an Agnostic back then. Then horrible world events, the pointless war, W, and hurricane devastation convinced me to become an Atheist. But things have gotten so bad lately that I want to be something beyond those labels. I've been wanting to get as far from what most people call "God" as possible.
Driving to work this morning, I was listening to NPR as usual. ( I can't take anything too rockin' in the early AM) I heard the latest entry in a series of personal essays titled "This I Believe". Penn Jillette (of 'Penn and Teller' fame) read his entry which I will transcribe for you -- if you dare read it. I heard this Monday morning and I wanted to pull over on the shoulder and applaud the radio. I didn't. I was running late.
Before you right-wingers get all crazed and call your congresspersons to demand funding for public radio get cut --know there are two pro-God essays already in the archives. Just go to www.npr.org
This expresses exactly how I feel: Thank you, Penn.
Ready?
Morning Edition, November 21, 2005 ÷ I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond Atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?
So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The Atheism part is easy.
But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."
Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.
Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.
Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.
Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.
Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.
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It is funny that a middle aged conservative christian Republican (will I get an RTOS for that word in this blog?) is such a fan of your blog. I am glad to know there are so many others. Kinda gives you hope to know that we are open minded enough to love you for who you are and not write you off as "immoral", "liberal" or any other term you want to pick, doesn't it?
I wasn't offended at all. I enjoy other peoples point of view.....it keeps mine ever widening, ya know?
Now, if you were a NC State fan.....THEN i'd have to hate you for a label (ha ha ha)
Chris
http://inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings.blogspot.com/
http://www.bigoven.com/~swibirun -
Thoughtful entry. Thanks for sharing.
Jackie -
mmmhmm..i believe in god but i just dont worship i started believing he does a worst job then bush does when it comes to being a president..i starting disliking "God" when my brother died.
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What Anne said. We Christian conservatives have pretty tough hides.
11/28/05 11:20 AM