Beneath the Surface

Permit me to adjust my fishnets for I've been pimped. ::mischievous snicker:: Thanks to Dawn for that.  Anyway, today has been a really interesting day.

Yeah, after my two cheeseburger and iced tea lunch I went with Mom to get Gram and Mollie from work.  On the way we started talking about Tiff's wedding...AGAIN and she mentioned that Tiff was somewhat hurt that I didn't want to stand up. 

Sure, I've got my reasons.

First, I don't like the idea of surrendering wardrobe selection to my sister, second, I don't have a date and third I just didn't want to be a focal point that day.  I think people are going to be walking up and saying,"So,when is it your turn?" and that just pisses me off.  My time comes when it comes, not a minute sooner. 

Still, after a lot of thought I decided to ask Tiff for a straight answer.  Was she pissed,hurt or otherwise and if she was why didn't she just tell me?  So, I took a deep breath and said,"Level with me!"

Now allow me to say this and I'll get to the next part in a sec,k? 

For now on, no one is to LEVEL with me.  Bullshit me,instead.  It's less complicated. I won't feel bad and you won't have to cry in front of me.  Or maybe you will.  Honesty officially sucks now and to prove it I'm going to lie to myself about this whole thing. 

Yes, I'm now back in the wedding and no, I am not happy about that.  Now here's the lie.  I'm in the wedding and I'm elated!  It was such an honor and I'm thrilled.  Now I'm not to the worst part yet.

I ask Tiff about the colors she's thinking for bride's maids dresses and all and I'm not happy here either.  Pink for her matron of honor and for her maid of honor. Don't ask me I don't know why she's got both.  Blue for the bride's maid and then there's me.

I'm allowed to pick my color as long as I stay in the pastel.  Fuck me!  I don't want to wear a stupid bride's maid dress.  Sorry,but I was visualizing myself as the hot chick in the corner with red hair and a hot kick ass dress.  Now I'm the girl whose going to cruising guys at the bar hoping to score an out of the dress.

Admittedly, a few years ago I would've said,"Hell,no!" but dammit. I developed morals and conscience.  That sucks! I had an out,folks! I had it! I was out of the wedding but then Tiff flashes this boo-boo lip at me, tears up and I go all soft!  My crazy ass developed a sense of compassion.

So as it stands now.  I am back in the wedding and I have possibly the best looking date ever!  Who knew I'd wind up with a date?!  No, I didn't kidnap John Cena, though I wish I could!  No, see we have no flower girl and we have two ring bearers...sort of!

So, my job is to walk down with Austin!  Did you think I actually scored a hot date?  No!  If I did I'd blow off the wedding and the ugly ass bride's maid's dress.  Kidding! Again!  Mom's got Collin and so that leaves me to determine what color dress I want and it's pastel!

YUCK-O!

Don't get me wrong some pastels are cool but if the red works out and I keep it I'm going to look like a demented loon with bright red hair and a pastel dress.  Tiff suggested green, mom said purple or light blue and I was about ready to upchuck when I said,"Well, how about a pale yellow?"

I'm either going to look like a friggen jelly bean or an Easter egg! 

Lovely! 

Maybe I'll be purchasing a shot gun and with that I welcome new readers!

Sorry, guys! 

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• #7 Comment from sugar1337 
  8/1/07 7:53 PM | Permalink

  You make not like this but I think you are doing the right thing by being in it if that is what you sister truly wants.  There are so very few times I think people have a right to be a bit selfish and planning a big event like a wedding falls under that category.  If nothing else you could always stick her in a really ugly dress one day when you get married.  I have actually lately been seeing many really pretty bride's maid dresses....have been to two weddings recently and the bridesmaids all turned out really lovely.  If nothing else just be glad you get to pick the color and remind yourself that you are doing this because of how much you love your sister even if it is a pain.
  http://blog.myspace.com/poptartcoco
• #6 Comment from katie39041 
  7/26/07 2:41 PM | Permalink

  Sorry for the late comment daraggin my butt today, I go with Yellow lol just think you will look like a fried egg with tomatoes sauce with the red hair. Teee heee!!!!!
  I am sure you will look stunning and that lovely little dude by your side well awwwwwwwww any one!!!!! Joking aside its a lovely thing you are doing for Tiff. Whats one day out of a lifetime?
  hugs
  Katie
• #5 Comment from coelha 
  7/26/07 11:47 AM | Permalink

  I was wondering about your sister's reaction..  I guess her feelings were hurt that you didn't want to be part of what is suppossed to be the "happiest day" of her life-ceremony wise.  People might get the impression that you don't approve of their union or something like that-I can understand where you are coming from--completely.  But, it's just one day, and at least she is going to let you pick your dress..too bad she likes pastels though. :(  Just be thankful you have one sister, and not 3--then you would have to choose another sister over the other and hurt more feelings..hah hah..  Julie
• #4 Comment from julydarby 
  7/26/07 6:09 AM | Permalink

  It's one day... you can do it. Don't worry about a date... lots of people meet their spouses at weddings. If anyone asks if "you're next" respond that you're a celibate lesbian. That should shut them up.
  *hugs*
  heather
  
• #3 Comment from yakima127 
  7/26/07 12:05 AM | Permalink

  Go with the jelly bean!  J