Beneath the Surface

The Simple Things!

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:34:45 GMT

I found this in ChasenKids and decided to give it a shot.

What are some of the things that you appreciate? What makes you smile, even when you didn’t think you could?

1. Knowing that God is there even when it seems like no one else is. (I know when did I become all high,mighty and religious! I don't know when but I know His truth!)

2. Finding time to sit by myself in a diner or a coffee shop and relax. (Apparently, I'm weird because a lot of people do not enjoy eating alone but then again when you're surrounded by people you do tend to enjoy this because of the inner peace involved.)

3. A good,long belly laugh! (Usually it's over something so stupid!)

4. Getting lost in a good book, (Actually, I've hit a bit of a dry spell. HELP ME!)

5. A cone of blueberry cheesecake ice cream. (If you haven't had this,you really must!)

6. Collin's laugh! (I cannot describe it but it's a joyful little sound brought on by the simpliest of actions. You know? Flipping him upside down and dropping him, belly first, onto my knees!)

7. Austin's dimples. (They remind me of my own and his eyes remind me of my brother's!)

8. Finding cool stuff on sale. (I seriously doubt there's a better feeling then finding a great looking shirt, or good butt pants, or totally awesome shoes on sale. Ranks right up there with great sex!)

9. Cell phone bowling! (What can I say? I'm hooked!)

10. Warm baked good even though,I so TOTALLY cannot bake! (I can buy the stuff though! No problems there!)

11. My puppy,Angel! (She just looks up at me with those warm,brown eyes and it's instant love!)

12. Watching a good baseball game on TV! (Nothing better then drooling over the likes of Jason Bay, Jed Lowrie, Dustin Pedoria, and Jonathan Papelbon!)

13. Drinking a great fruit smoothie! (I do not like coffee, I rarely drink soda, but if I can find a fabulous fruit smoothie then I enjoy that!)

14. Good comfy jeans! (They hug you just right and make everything look good and are comfy and broken in!)

15. I Love Lucy reruns! (Need I say more? There's nothing better then laughing at Lucy and Ethel's craziness!)

16. Having great friends. (The song was right! "You gotta have friends!")

17. A good hair day! (We've all had the opposite of that! You know the days when shaving your head doesn't sound so bad because it means you can start fresh with hair that doesn't look like you made out with an electrical outlet!)

18. Being sneaky! (I was so good at being a sneak when I was a kid, but sometimes it slips away. I must work on bringing sneaky back!)

19. Finding humor in lousy things. (Sometimes a joke can turn terrible things around!)

20. Enjoying a nice, juicy steak! (Few things in life are better!)

One Word!

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 04:45:13 GMT

I stole this from Tracy! Thanks,sweetie!

1. Where is your cell phone?Table

2. Where is your significant other? NOclue!
3. Your hair? Clean
4. Your mother? Cool!
5. Your father? Sleeping!
6. Your favorite thing? Angel!
7. Your dream last night? Intense
8. Your dream/goal? Process
9. The room you're in? Birds!
10. Your hobby? Numerous
11. Your fear? Gerbils
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Wealthy!
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Pregnant!
15. One of your wish list items? Guitar
16. Where you grew up? Massachusetts
17. The last thing you did? Drink
18. What are you wearing? Pants
19. Your TV? On
20.Your pet? Cairn
21. Your computer? Flat
22. Your mood? Fabulous!
23. Missing someone? Totally!
24. Your car? Dream
25. Something you're not wearing? Bling!
26. Favorite store ? Target.
27. Love someone? Absolutely!
28. Your favorite color/shade? Red
29. Last thing you ate? Cheeseburger
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today!
31. Last time you cried? Thursday!

Some Chatter and my list!

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 05:27:37 GMT

You know it totally amazes me how much has gone on in my life and how much stuff I've been wanting to tell you guys since I took my little break but I get an idea and then I remember something else and I want to launch off and give you that.

Anyway, last night was nice. Lately, I've been trying to squeeze in as much time to myself as humanly possible because on September. 3rd I return to the grindstone of school, tests, quizzes, and papers. Overall, I'm looking forward to it because it's a chance to take classes I've been looking at and wondering about.

Next semester I'm all ready thinking about taking Shakespeare but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I took a little cat nap until one, Oh, and yes, I know the exact time because the Sox game started at 1 on the dot and I wasn't missing, and I walked into the living room,sat down and watched a fabulous game. Despite a loss I will absolutely tell you the Sox played very well! Their pitcher,Jon Lester, came back strongly from his trashing against the Toronto Blue Jays last week.

Mom had been debating her plans for the night. She was pretty fixed on going to my brother's softball games but after last Thursday she was nervous. Okay, permit me to explain. My younger brother,Den, plays on three softball leagues.

Pencils plays at Jones Beach, These are the games we go to most frequently!, he plays at Ashley Park in the south end of the city, We actually grew up in that area!,then he plays in Fairhaven, This is fast pitch!, and before I go any further let me just say as far as the Ashley Park area goes it wasn't always the way I'm going to describe.

Growing up I remember living in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone else, you didn't get away with anything and the worst phrase in the world was,"I'm going to tell your parents!" We all played together, we all hung out, and some kids got in trouble and we had our occasional fights but they were skin on skin! In other words, no one ever grabbed a weapon!

So, last Thursday my parents and I head over to Jones' to watch the Pencils game. These games are always my favorites. First, I have my brother,Den, my cousins, and my brother's friends are all on this team. Secondly, it's a nice area, there's ice cream nearby and the beach is close and I just love to sit and sniff the air for salt water. Strange,right?

Unfortunately, the other team didn't show and my brother decided to go check out the competition at the Ashley Park game. My parents and I went to visit my cousin, her husband, her little boy, and her daughter. We were having a nice visit until my cousin's husband pulls out his handheld police scanner and there's an alert of shots fired at Ashley Park!

Yeah, that same Ashley Park where my brother is! My other cousin was there as well and she started dialing my brother's cell as soon as we heard this, my dad's frantically trying to reach him too, and all hell's breaking loose. Each person who tries to reach Den gets a busy signal.

A few minutes later my cousin, the one trying to reach my brother, decides to take her kids and leave because the alleged shooters are like two or three streets up from the spot we're sitting in. A bit later my brother calls and says he's there. Yeah, apparently he tailed the shooters and is outside their house! Ever wonder why my mom's hair is white? It's this stuff right here!

Now at this point my dad and my cousin's hubby decide to take a walk up to see if they can find my brother! We're all frantic at this point. I would've gone too but never in a million years would my dad,my mom and even my cousins let me go! So, mom, my cousin and I are sitting around being crazy! Previously Austin has called as well, making a request for doughnuts and Tiff has been filled in on what's going on.

Tiff and Den used to be so close so she's panicked now too.

An hour or so later mom remembers we have to pick up Gram so she calls my dad and reminds him. As it turns out my brother tailed the shooters, turned down a side street, and more then likely called the police! All three guys are waiting as suspects are taken out of the house and another police cruiser, along with backup, is looking for the black car that pulled up and fired shots into the baseball field after the first set rang out!

The car has not been found yet. This being said mom didn't want to go to the game last night. Instead she,my dad, Tiff and Austin went to the auction and I stayed home with Collin! Honestly, I was not in the mood to do much, I wasn't interested in the auction and I wound up putting Collin to bed fairly early and just relaxing.

I didn't even actually cook dinner. Instead I ordered take out and fed Collin French fries, lasagna, and bread. After I put him to bed I played with Angel, cleaned up and that was it! It was a quiet night like I said.

Anyway, it's been a long while but here's my Thankful Thursday list! Enjoy!

1. Angel! I know I'll never forge the bond I had with my Sasha boo but I love this little ragamuffin dog! She's just such a little love and I love her spunky playfulness! She just makes me laugh and my new cell is full of pictures of her.

2. New interests. I love being able to adapt and try new things. A lot of people have trouble with change but I love changing things. Hopefully, at some point I can add guitar playing to my list of talents. Oh, and the baseball thing has been fabulous! I really love it!

3. J-Land. Consider yourselves like a great novel because you can put it down for a while but something primal, something about basic need, just draws you back!

4. My brother! Some might not think so but if my brother did what I think he did a week ago last Thursday then he's a hero! I know it sounds corny and I used to tease him about my parents not being able to do "any better" then me but the fact of the matter is, and this is going to sound strange, but if I can find a man half as great as my brother then I'll be a very lucky woman!

5. Starting school soon. The specter of boredom is gone and now I can look forward to take classes that challenge me and compel me to be creative! Look, I'm a lot of things and I like to through creative into the mix as well.

6. Next summer. My parents have been talking about taking the family, meaning me, my sister, and the boys, to Florida since forever. This being said my dad's all ready planning this for next summer! Finally, I'm gonna meet Mickey mouse! I think it's cool because I named my favorite hamster after him!

7. Things finally coming together for my family. Money issues seem to be resolving and that's a definite blessing for us!

8. Feeling happy again! I think I've spent a lot of time trying to make everyone else happy, getting stomped and feeling guilt. All of it is wasted because the one person I have to face every day is me and I should focus on that and everything else will come on it's own! Plus, making others happy isn't really a priority anymore. This new leaf I'm turning over is an equal opportunity selfish leaf!

9. Chocolate! Sorry, but some old habits die hard and I'm not ready to give up that stuff yet! It just tastes too good to me and besides I'm healthy for the most part. Happiness can make you healthy!

10. My new cell phone. Lame, I know but I love it! Especially the Nickelback and Saliva ring tones.

well you done done me and you bet i felt it
i tried to get you but you're so hot that i melted
i fell right through the cracks
and i'm trying to get back
before the cool done run out
i'll be giving it my bestest
nothin's going to stop me but devine intervention
i reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

i won't hesitate no more
no more it cannot wait, i'm yours

well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
ah la peaceful melody
its your godforsaken right to be loved love loved love love

so i won't hesitate no more
no more it cannot wait i'm sure
theres no need to complicate
our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours

i been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
and bendin over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
so i drew a new face and laughed
i guess what i'm sayin is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
its what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

i won't hesitate no more
no more it cannot wait i'm sure
theres no need to complicate
our time is short
it cannot wait, i'm yours

New,Fun Things!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:11:32 GMT

I spent most of the night tossing and turning. Right now I'm considering it a sign that perhaps my eagarness to take the classes after stalling for about 2 1/2 years and now that I jump in and they wind up getting canceled means that maybe,just maybe they'll offer them in spring or I'll take the test and get the waiver.

Either way I put in for new classes.

My Criminal Investigation class, offered on Saturday, is fine but I had to replace three. The replacements are totally meaningless. I don't need them but it's going to be fun anyway.

So far I'm going to be taking:

World Literature on Wednesday, Psychology of Personality is on Wednesday as well, on Monday I'm taking History of Music,and Criminal Investigation on Saturday.

My plate if full. Thanks!

A Brief Update!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 05:05:37 GMT

I was once informed that,"God does not open one door without opening a window!" Do I ever hope that, that's a real statement here because I just went online to see if I had my instructor list for my classes and guess what?

Three of my four classes have been canceled! Two of which I am actually required to take. Yeah, basic typing and text editing. Well, hopefully this leaves me some wiggle room with regards to taking the test to get a waiver so I do not have to take basic typing after all.

Now I just need to fill three openings in my class listings. I'm not thrilled but I'm not horribly disappointed either! Hopefully, by later on today I can work something out! Well, actually, I have no real choice.

It's either get it done or kiss the cash goodbye!

Guess Whose Back?!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:32:08 GMT

So, after a long hiatus and time spent writing in that MySpace journal I keep I've decided to make my triumphant return. I know some of you have been wondering when I'd be coming back and I had been wondering that myself. I was experiencing some technical difficulties and if they return I'm praying they can be quickly ironed out.

I also felt a little bad that all my previous enteries in this journal have been me complaining but then I thought about it a bit more and you know what? This is my little spot to express myself so why shouldn't I use it to vent? So, here I am.

Things are finally getting to great around here anyway. Monday was very interesting. Mom's lawyer called and is pushing to settle the case, not a moment too soon either because that money is going to be put to some good use, the same day Tiff went down to check the mail and guess what? My mom had applied for disability and she was approved! Oh, and to top it off my dad got the credit card he'd applied for.

This is all good stuff because frankly, we've been struggling here and mom felt guilty!

Summer has been chalk loaded with activity as well and new interests. As many of you know I'm from Massachusetts and baseball feveris running rampid and I've caught it. Originally I did that so I could bond more with Dizzy but we share differing views so now I'm just enjoying it solely for me. I'm also considering some other avenues of self expression, i.e. I want to learn to play the guitar!, and I've been having a blast.

T-ball season just ended last weekend with the all-star game. Originally, Austin was supposed to have been the bat boy but he was promoted to team player because Harbor Blue didn't have enough players representing it so my sister had to move Austin up! The game on Saturday was pretty different from the other t-ball games in that we kept score.

Austin played for the Red Hots and guess what? They won 20 to 19! This coming weekend we're having a pizza party for the boys on Tiff's team. Austin doesn't know it yet but he's getting ANOTHER award for perfect attendance at the banquet this year!

Collin is getting so big but he's a lazy little booger. He's talking up a storm but he will not walk! It's so annoying! He can do it but he won't! I wish he'd give it up and just start walking all ready but as he told me the other day,"I don't want to!"

Can you believe him?!

Angel is doing great! She's not Sasha but then again no dog could be. Angel is a little sweetie though. We've had our battles but she's getting better. For some odd reason she's having a hard time with house training and was actually peeing on a chair in the house. I solved that by investing in a crate and now at night,Angel, goes inside to sleep!

Early in the morning I get up, run her outside, and back up. She's learning and she's doing very well with her training. I think she's become very attached to me and she is constantly hanging around me. The other weekend my dad and I took her to the baseball field so she could have some time outside. I expected her to have some problems with being around strangers but she did great!

I've been spending a lot of time attending my brother's softball games as well. The Pencils, that's the team, are doing great. They are in second place and have made the playoffs! I'm so happy for them! They've really earned this and the team is just full of really terrific guys.

School is starting September 2nd this year and I am no where near ready. My mom and dad bought me a brand,spankin new cell phone and I'm going to be going to Wally World soon to pick up pens, pencils, folders and notebooks. This semester I've opted to take two office courses, a sociology course, and a criminal investigation class. I was stunned and happy the other week when all my paperwork came in and I realized they increased the amount of money I'll be getting and my parents have graciously offered to buy me a new backpack.

I'm not really looking forward to the start of school this time. Mainly because of the basic typing class. I've been typing since I was like 12 years old and since I can type 79 words per minute I will most likely be bored out of my mind! I'm hoping I go in, wow my professor and am offered the waiver or the early exit test!

Hopefully, if that happens I can just quickly shuffle myself into another course that I need. Right now though there's no instructor listed so I'm stuck! I'm not happy about it but what can I do? Not much!

Okay,so I guess that's it. It's great to be back. I really missed you all and I'll talk to you soon. Latta gators!

I Got Two Words For You,Sparky!

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:43:57 GMT

Parole Officer!

Yup, those are my two words. Between the heat, the shopping, and the vermin return I was in a great mood when I went to take the trash out tonight and the teenagers in my neighborhood were the victims of my wrath. Okay, it was not undeserved. Let me just say that much in my defense.

So, let's start from the beginning,right? Right! Okay, I woke up this morning, got dressed and headed off to do some shopping. Mom needed to get some clothes for a wake tonight so she, Tiff,Collin and I went to Wally World after breakfast. Now let me explain something here. I didn't know I had bad taste but apparently I do.

Dang, no one told me. I was in sore need of some summer clothes so I browsed a bit and found some cool tan shorts, a cute blue tank, a gray happy bunny tank and some cool shoes for my uncle upcoming wedding this weekend.

They are funky ballet flats in black with a Mary Jane strap. Very funky! We cashed out and mom decided we should finish the shopping. Dots is this great little local store with tons of funky clothes in all sizes. Now I should tell you by this point Tiff found nothing at Walmart! I think I should explain my sister.

She's in denial. Tiff was sickly skinny when she was a teenager and then after she had Austin she dropped her baby weight within days. Seriously! I guess the stress of finding yourself suddenly single can do that after you plan on marriage, forever and all that jazz! This being said the baby weight now has been a bit slower to come off and in fact I think Tiff has managed to steadily gain over the year.

Unfortunately, she can't seem to accept her situation. Basically, it's this. She is in the same size clothing as me. According to her due to her teeny boobs and her bigger backside she can't seem to find clothes that fit. This was what she said at Walmart and then at Dots. Look, I'm trying to be understanding but her comments became mildly insulting as she continued about not being able to find clothes when I managed to find 2 pairs of pants, three tanks and a really cute tee-shirt!

She claimed that I knew my body because I've been this size,"like forever!" You know what permit me to explain something. I'm not big! I'm a size 18 in pants and an XL or smaller in shirts. I've dropped 10 pounds and I thought I had okay taste. I find it amazing that Tiff was incapable of finding clothes that fit when I had such an easy time. Her response was,"Well, you don't care how you look so it makes it easier!"

Look, I've had those,"Oh, my gracious I have nothing to wear moments." but I never get ticked at someone else. So, I get home and I have my outfits. I have a tan pair of cargo shorts, my happy bunny tank, my blue jersey knit tank, my shoes, and from Dots I found a pair of black Capri's for my uncle's wedding, this funky looking long tunic style purple tank with a pink top, and this really cool white tee-shirt with a black corset drawn on it.

I think I did pretty well but after Tiff's little rant in the car mom decides to take her to the mall to buy some clothes. Let me just say I didn't think it would be this bad. I mean I had Collin, he was taking a nap, the house was quiet, and I had just settled in to watch Oprah. Ahh...peace.

Then the phone rings. My gram handed over all of her paper work,regarding her funeral and will, to my mother. Now I'm not picking at Gram but she has this nasty habit of putting people in the middle of the situations. She can never have my aunts and my mother getting along. It pains her if they do so I was not surprised when she told me she got in an argument with my Aunt Flower.

I told her I had to go change Collin. He was soaked and awake so it wasn't a lie but the fact was I did not want into the middle of this. I had just put a dry diaper on Collin and snapped the first tag into place when the phone rings again. It's my other aunt.

She asks for my mom and I tell her,"Mom's out with Tiff and Austin."

She says to have my mom call her. Okay, fine! All hell's broken loose. I settled in regardless, went to unlock the door for my dad, and watched the rest of Oprah. By sheer dumb luck the topic was death and the guests were a model who has terminal cancer as well as Randy Pausch, the professor from Carnage Melon, diagnosed with cancer as well.

All this death around me. I felt I needed some support so I got on the phone with Dizzy. He reassured me that I look beautiful no matter what and told me jokes until I was laughing. It was at this point Tiff and mom came home and I jokingly said to my mom,"Oh, you owe me so big!" I fill her in and she calls my aunt.

My aunt basically says what I said. Gram's at it again. After my dad leaves to go to work we order dinner and just kick back. I go into my room to get my shoes and I see something scurry across my floor. ANOTHER ONE?!

This one's brown! What the heck? I freaked, slammed the door shut and left the room in a quick little hurry! I sat down and relaxed a bit more before I cleaned the kitchen, did some other stuff but then came my altercation with the neighborhood brats. See, I had to bring the fan box out to the street and when I did I left it out there and when I came back with another trash bag one of the kids picked it up and threw it at another kid!

It nearly hit me and I had swerve to avoid it. All that drama today with Tiff, all the drama with Gram and all this talk of death. I snapped. The kid says the other one started it and I said the police could finish it. I won't tell you the little rodent's response but basically he told me I could do something to him that well...frankly I...I think you get it,right?

I told him,"Not in a million years." and he said he had two words for me. I know where that was leading and my,my it's so original! I mean that phrase has been around since before I left high school! Possibly junior high! So, I told the kid he could do that to me. He's like,'but you don't have anything!'

I got back upstairs and I thought to myself when the moron said,"I have two words for ya." I should've said,"Yeah, I have two for you! Parole officer. You'll probably have one someday."

Isn't it terrible how comments come to you when you least expect them and you can't get them back?

Oh, well, no vermin and Dizzy's working late.

I'm annoyed!

From Baby to Big Boy!

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:25:55 GMT

Sometimes it just amazes me how much Austin and Collin look alike. Anyway, today we hit a milestone with Austin but allow me a moment to reminisce. I still remember the day Austin was born. The memory, the emotion is as clear as if it happened yesterday instead of 6 years ago.

I have a catalogue of memories of all the first achievements. The first time he crawled, the first time he spoke, his first seizure, the first time he said,"I love you.", his first Halloween, he was a giraffe in case you're wondering, his first bite of ice cream, butter crunch and he hated it, his first bath, the first time he got sick, his first days of school and the list continues on. Still, today was another first.

I should tell you my godson is a quiet child. Very rarely does he demand things from us. This milestone was no exception! For the last few days Austin was complaining his teeth were hurting. Tiff and I both figured on a molar but nope. We're all sitting around....sweating....while mom and dad go to cash the stimulus check when Austin runs to Tiff and says,"Mommy,look."

I'm sitting in the other room,watching Dr. Phil, when I hear her asking him,'Where's your tooth?" WHAT?! TOOTH?! I'm silently praying he didn't swallow it. I come out and Tiff is flipping. She finally gets Austin to tell her that he spit the tooth into the couch. Austin's mouth is a bit on the bloody side, okay that and he's been drinking red juice, so I do a quick once over and then I look at the tooth.

It was so teeny that I needed a magnifying glass but no roots so that sucker was due to come out. Tiff and I are so excited. We're jumping around, high fiving each other, high fiving the boys, and basically acting like total goober idiots. Our excitement makes Austin a bit nervous. We quickly explain the tooth fairy!

Austin hears money and it's like,"What? She buys teeth?" He's jazzed now and so are we. He calls F.B.I.L. and wants to call my parents but Tiff and I convince him to wait. The impact of the news is better in person. Shortly after that my parents came home with window fans. Thank you,God! So, Tiff runs down to help and Austin decides he must surprise his ma,he means grandma, and papa.

It took a few minutes for them to realize what he was showing them and while Tiff was outside he tells me that he thought he did something so bad it made his teeth fall out! "Nope,Lil Mister," I said. "just part of becoming the big boy you are." He smiled and then when my parents walked in he opened his mouth extra wide to show off.

Mom was first to respond with,"Wow! He lost his first tooth!"

Dad just said it, what we all feared,"You know what this means? We're getting old!"

Yup! After this mom and I went to go pick up dinner and after the boys ate and had their baths we has a frank discussion of how much cash the tooth fairy should leave our little guy! Now I know for some the tooth fairy is a subject for debate. Some folks have taken Santa away as well but I like it. I think I grew up believing in magic so why not do the same with the kids?

Now as a child I remember getting a dollar for each tooth I lost and this resulted in some debate. Should Austin get a dollar? Perhaps more. My dad told a story that clinched it when he told Austin he'd left change on the desk for him and Austin said he would take just the quarters and leave the rest for Collin but only if it was quarters Collin did not need for his coin book.

My godson is a great big brother isn't he? So, he checked. After hearing this we decided on five dollars but being as no one actually had the five we opted for three bucks. We're waiting to hear him in the morning because he will be so excited. Even though Austin is quite good with money every little bit excites him like it's the first time.

You know I've been there for all this little boy's firsts. The first time he spoke, the first time he did anything, and heck even the day Tiff told me she was going to name him Austin! A lot of people have guesses as to where Tiffany got this name from. Actually, originally she had selected the name Christian Michael Manuel but her ex, this is the only good thing he's ever given my godson, suggested that they name him after her favorite song. Anyway, in honor of this special milestone I'm going to post a copy of the lyrics.

Austin by: Blake Shelton

She left without leavin a number
Said she needed to clear her mind
He figured shed gone back to austin
cause she talked about it all the time
It was almost a year before she called him up
Three rings and an answering machine is what she got

If youre callin bout the car I sold it
If this is tuesday night Im bowling
If youve got somethin to sell, youre wastin your time, Im not buyin
If its anybody else, wait for the tone,
You know what to do
And p.s. if this is austin, I still love you

The telephone fell to the counter
She heard but she couldnt believe
What kind of man would hang on that long
What kind of love that must be
She waited three days, and then she tried again
She didnt know what shed say,
But she heard three rings and then

If its friday night Im at the ballgame
And first thing saturday, if it dont rain
Im headed out to the lake
And Ill be gone, all weekend long
But Ill call you back when I get home
On sunday afternoon
And p.s. if this is austin, I still love you

Well, this time she left her number
But not another word
Then she waited by the phone on sunday evenin
And this is what he heard

If youre callin bout my heart
Its still yours
I shouldve listened to it a little more
Then it wouldnt have taken me so long to know where I belong
And by the way, boy, this is no machine youre talkin to
Cant you tell, this is austin, and I still love you

I still love you

It's Just Too Darn Hot!

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:47:46 GMT

Massachusetts is in the midst of a heatwave right now. Lovely! Joy! Rapture! It's so hot out there that dad finally brought our fans out but there's two problems one, we have only three and two, they aren't powerful enough to make a difference.

Today was a prime example of what can happen when ambitious people get lazy and the heat sort of fed into it. The boys spent much of their day in their underwear. Collin could've gotten away with a diaper but he yanks them off so he got a pair of Austin's old underpants put over and the only time any of us really got dressed was when we absolutely had to.

Oh, and the only time it was deamned absolutely necessary was when all of us opted to venture out for ice cream. Mom,dad and I hopped into the Intrepid and F.B.I.L. and Tiff followed with the boys. Destination: Dairy Maid!

Dairy Maid has been a staple of my childhood. It's one of the only three places left open and they happen to make some of the best ice cream. Of course that being said the place was jammed. Luckily, the staff there is quick so despite the line almost being out in the street my dad and I got advanced pretty fast.

Tiff and F.B.I.L. were three or four people behind us with the boys and soon we were all standing at the car eating our ice cream. We had to eat it quick because the heat was melting it faster then we could actually keep up!

It was nice though. Mom got her soft vanilla, dad had frozen pudding, Tiff had orange sherbet,as did Collin, F.B.I.L. had rainbow sherbet,Austin had soft vanilla and I ordered two things. One was an ice cream freeze and a cone of blueberry cheesecake. The sherbet is made on the sight and unfortunately it was a bit too tangy for Collin so I wound up sharing my vanilla freeze with him!

He loved it!

After we left the ice cream place mom,dad and I headed to Wally World. We bought towels and stuff and then came home. I actually had a peaceful couple of hours because Tiff and F.B.I.L. went to Gram's to remove her storm windows and then came home. About an hour later they came home and a friend of their's hadcalled.

She invited them over but Collin was exhausted. He hadn't napped all day. I don't get why they have such a difficult time with him. Still, I offered to watch Collin while they took Austin with them. F.B.I.L. got on my nerves by saying how hard it was going to be to get Collin to sleep!

Yeah, right!

A minute after they left I filled the bath tub and stuck Collin in. When he had played and was clean I pulled him out, set him on the couch, dried him off, put powder on him and gave him his bottle. He was out within a few minutes! 5 at the most. Difficult?!

Please! I'm holding back my need to laugh in F.B.I.L.'s face. He and my sister have so much drama with the boys and my mom and I are just so cool and mellow. Lately, Collin just seems extra bonded to me.

Maybe it's the kindred spirit of both uf us wearing glasses and his delays but he's getting so smart now. He says a bunch of new words, he cries for me when I leave the room and he absolutely breaks into deep, hysterical laughter when I'm playing with him! He's such a neat little guy!

You know I always questioned if I could love him as much as I love Austin and you know what? I really,really do!

In other news Dizzy accepted my apology. I am so relieved. He's such a sweetie. He told me tonight, on the phone, "Just give me a chance,k? I know you've dealt with a lot but you know what? I'm not those guys. I'm not the one who won't accept you for who you are, who will lie and cheat so give me a shot! I promise I'll try my hardest to make you happy!"

How can I say,'No!' to that? So, he's getting a chance.

The weather is still crappy here. It's so humid! Anyway, now it's like 70 something so it's a bit cooler and I managed to jump into the shower myself so I'm feeling a bit better. Sadly, my face is very,very sunburnt from my trip to the t-ball game the other day. Oh, and before any of you ask, as Dizzy did, no, I didn't use sunblock but I sat under a tree.

Guess next week I'll remember the sunblock,won't I?

A High Maintance Woman?!

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:54:16 GMT

Simply put I made a mistake when it came to Dizzy. What can I say?! I assumed he was not really interested in dating me. I assumed he might have been messing around with his ex! You know what I assumed wrong but I didn't know that until tonight.

Still, let's start at this morning. I went to sleep around 2 a.m. and had to be up for 10 so I could go to Austin's t-ball game. This game was a bit of a nail bitter because they were playing a relatively good team. Lil Sluggers' is a team mostly comprised of second year kids and my sister's team only has three kids who played t-ball prior to this year. We were a bit concerned that they wouldn't play well and would loose some self confidence.

Our fears were for naught. They played extermely well. In fact, our own Lil Slugger,Austin, got the first hit of the game. Unfortunately, I missed it because I had to run to the store, across the street, and get milk for Collin. I got back whenAustin was on second base. Most of the game was spent under the shade of a tree with Collin but unfortunately Tiff and F.B.I.L. forgot the sunscreen and Collin,Austin and I are charred crisp.

At the end of the game we went and got some food and came home. I spent the next few hours trying to sleep but being crispy, having a headache and being on the verge of barfing....no,sleep wouldn't come easy! So, at four mom and I left to go get Gram.

She, of course, started out the evening on a rather interesting note. As I mentioned Gram fell out of bed. I had no idea how bad it was until we got there and she told her about the exact locations of the bruises and then continued by stating that she had gas! I should've stayed quiet but instead I blurted out,'Why do you tell us this stuff?"

No, I was not referring to the bruises, I was, however, referring to the gas! This is an etiquette lesson: Keep your gas to yourself. Thanks!

Anyway, I went to my favorite Italian place to grab dinner and ran into Diz's friend,Chunk,and boy, did I get an earful. He told me that Dizzy was disappointed that first, I concluded that he was messing around with his ex and two, after knowing that he's training and working so hard, I would dismiss him after a few failed attempts. Oh, and yes, he has made some attempts.

He tried to meet me a couple weeks ago at my cousin's baseball game and I forgot to call,or IM, and tell him that I was going to see my brother play instead, he has tried to change his fishing trip so he can accompany me to the wedding but the deposit is non-refundable, and this afternoon he tried to come to the house but I was at Austin's baseball game. I mean it's not like he hasn't tried, correct and then I go an accuse him of fooling around like his ex-girlfriend did to him!

"I can tell you right now he hasn't seen hide, nor hair, of her since he broke up with her!" Chunk told me. "He's hurt that you didn't give him a chance. You could cut the dude some slack. It's not like he's partying,he's working! He's training. You know how it is!"

On the walk back I started thinking about what Chunk said. I do know how it is to be focused on something you want really badly! I know how that can narrow things and I always expect the people around me to support me when I'm striving towards something. I spent most of the night examining if I did the for Dizzy. I know he's working hard, I know he's training hard to achieve something so why am I being so demanding and closed minded?

I've decided to continue trying to build something with this guy because if there's something there waiting for things to fall into place won't be so bad. He's a great guy and he's trying really hard,right? I get the feeling I should cut him a break.

So, I e-mailed him a quick letter and apologized for being a brat. Yeah, I've been a brat with Dizzy. Normally, I'm easy-going,with men, relaxed and non-confrontational until they tick me off. I would love to go out on a date with him but right now his schedule is jammed and I'm going to have to be a grown up and accept it.

Anyway, I need some Tylenol and a cold shower. It's blistering hot here and my poor head and nose feel awful!