Eyes Left

STRIDES FOR MENTAL HEALTH ON A HOT AUTUMN MORNING

October 2nd, 2005 was one of the better days of my life.  I walked 3.2 miles with 350 other persons in the shimmering early autumn heat of downtown Austin with Texas NAMI (also known as the Texas Chapter of the National Alliance For The Mentally Ill).  This was a $ raising walk, and I was especially gratified by the response to my pleas for contributions - I raised about $ 500, and 90% of this money will go to the Waco Tx NAMI chapter. 

Why did I get involved?  For some time, I have been quite aware of the insidious discrimination inflicted on persons with mental ailments - there is severe employment discrimination - insurance companies refuse to provide comprehensive benefits for psychiatric care - persons receiving Social Security benefits for a mental disability lose their disability status if they work full time or earn more than $ 500 pere month (some persons on Social Security for mental disability are capable of full time employment, but their mental state is often quite precarious - they can sometimes land a full time job, but a capricious employer or economic recession can destroy their employment status - and if they lose their full time job, there is no disability income and no wage/salary income) - there is this great oppressive solitude, where the sufferer feels alone and helpless - there is severe stigma, for society often concentrates on the mental sufferer's "sickness" instead of their humanity and desire for love, happiness, and meaning which is the foundation of every human spirit.  Mental illness respects no barriers - it curses rich and poor - it bombards persons of all races, ages, both genders - it raises its hydra like heads without warning, and the sufferer, families, and friends sometimes feel as if a nuclear bomb has exploded, and God is completely absent. 

My beloved girl friend is brave, spiritual, kind, honest, loyal, and loving.  She is the source of much of my power and confidence.  But she has struggled with a mental disorder for years - usually, her problems are quite controllable with psychiatric "maintenance medication" - but occasionally, she leaves her medication regimen, and plunges inito deep spinning darkness with no gravity.  After several years of mental stability and an essentially normal life, my friend recently found herself in a psychiatric hospital, her mind swirling ini endless circles.  Eventually, with the help of caring psychiatric professionals and the restoration of medication, she found her way back to the light, and I gave thanks.  She left the hospital in late August, and I learned about NAMI as she was being discharged.  At that point, I knew that I must participate in the NAMI Walk. 

I confined my search for contributions to blood kin or persons that I absolutely trusted, or persons who knew and loved my friend.  Almost everyone responded - about twenty people donated funds for my participation in the walk.  I did not walk alone - my friend and seven other persons from Waco NAMI were with me in Austin (a psychologist, a father with a son who suffers from schizophrenia, my girl firend, and several persons with recurring mental afflictions).  As we walked, we wore dark blue NAMI WACO tshirts, skipping church for this opportunity - the Austini skyscrapers towered above us - gradually, the Texas Capitol grew larger and larger in our vision - the atmosphere was festive and filled with brave hope - "Expect Recovery" - the bumper stickers read - but the "Expect Recovery" slogan was more of a prayer - this was an army of the wounded that bravely struggles against the darkness, bringing light, community, and love. 

As I left the park at the conclusion of the NAMI Walk, a thin and somewhat nervous women accosted me and others exiting the gate.  There is a Suicide Prevention Walk on November 13th.  Her son had committed suicide.  She had to do this, passing out literature to strangers.  She had to bring honor to her son's memory and soul.  I understood.  I was at the NAMI Walk because of Delia.  And I remembered the suicides that have touched my life - the obstetrician who delivered my oldest daughter, the older brother of a childhood best friend who went to Viet Nam and came home and swallowed a bottle of pills, consumed by nightmares and guilt - the physician who excelled at everything but ended his life because he saw that he was checkmated by pancreatic cancer.  When you go on a NAMI Walk or a suicide prevention awareness walk, you meet people who have been to hell and back.  You meet people who refuse to let their trip to hell define them.  You meet people who have slipped into hell and refuse to stay there. 

So I may be coming to see you in the coming weeks, because my work on behalf of the mentally afflicted remains unfinished.  Waco NAMI is small - but it should be large, active, and viable.  It's the type of organization that should draw ministers, psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, social workers, therapists, mental health consumers (patients), their families and friends, and anyone else who dares to replace darkness with light.  So if I ask you for a $ donation to NAMI, or I ask you to become personally involved with the organization, listen to your heart. 

To send a donation to the Waco NAMI, please make the check payable to:  NAMI   Mail the donation to John DeVries, 2304 Herring, Waco Tx  76708.

Visit www.nami.org       

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this