A View Thru The Vortex That Is Me

12:26:03 PM EST

As I have mentioned before, or at least I think I have, my NACO sleeps on my side at times.  She's like a heating pad and if I look at her I can sometimes turn on the optional massage feature that most NACOs come with. 

Sometimes I'm afraid to look up at her though.  More than once I looked up and realized her face was inches from mine.  That can be really freaky to have an animal looking you right in the face.  Even a beloved pet.  Why?  I think it's a side effect of reading to much Stephen King. 

Have you ever creeped up on someone reading?  If you have you are prue evil.  I'm not going to name names but there some people that I consider friends, and some family members that like to do that when I'm reading him.  One such person learned never to do that while I'm reading a hard cover.  They leave marks.  lol

Last night while I was laying there trying not to look the cat in the eye I started thinking of 'Bag of Bones' which took me forever to read.  It was more like it took me a while to get into.  Once I was in it, I was in it.  As I was looking back it got me thinking on how we remember books.  Or at least how I do.

I was trying my best to look at the main character in the face and realized that for some reason I can't.  For some reason I have a hard time actually picturing the character.  It could be because I read the book through him.  Know what I mean.  Remembering a book to me is like watching a movie.  But instead of seeing the main character go through a box, I see the box as it is being gone through.  In a way it sort of looks more like a memory than a story. 

Now, I don't consider myself a writer, more like a story teller.  I like telling the short stories of life.  Even if they can be boring to most people.  If you write, to me the first rule to writing should be that you write for yourself first.  As it states on the top this journal is for my mother and daughter.  And it is but first and fore most it's for me. 

I have to finish these thoughts later.

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10:48:45 AM EST
Hearing concrete blonde - bajo la lune mexicana

It's finally over with it.  Sort of.  Samantha and I are leaving for a much needed visit with my mommy Tuesday.  We will be back New Year's day because she has school the next day.  Yuck!

She only had six presents, she counted, but was happy with each and everyone of them.  She must have taken over a 1,000 pictures with her new camera.  It was also the time to learn some camera etiquette.  She almost took a picture of me coming up the stairs.  I gently explained that the flash could blind someone on the stairs causing a fall. 

We made the most of the day and the only thing I had to do was spend time with my little munch kin.  We did one puzzle and started another one but didn't finish.  We made bars of soap with her soap maker.  Every piece of candy from our stockings was eaten.  Santa got just enough for us to enjoy a sugar buzz for the day. 

Oh, our Christmas tree was free.  That's what happens when you wait till Christmas eve to get one.  Which reminds me I should have Samantha water that again.  I'll take everything down when we get back. 

                              

Not bad for a free tree.  However, I was not allowed to hang the ornaments.  That was a job for the little one. 

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11:51:29 PM EST
Hearing fall out boy - of all the gin joints in all the world

As I was cleaning I came across my Grandmother's old sewing box once again.  Lately it has just been moving from room to room.  I haven't actually looked at it's contents for quite some time.  However, I have been adding to it.  On a lark I went through it and oh boy did some of it take me back.  When you don't look at these things for a long time you can forget what's in there.  And that's part of the fun isn't it?

I found things that easily date back to high school.  For instance, the newspaper clipping of the cast of 'The Outsiders.'  I knew all there real names and character names and use to write them all over every notebook I owned back then.  The scarely thing is, that I still can. 

There were also cards from my mother from various occastions, not to mention all the post cards from her travel days.  Lots of newspaper clippings.  Cartoons ranging from a polical one and Odie.  One clip actually coincides with the hoildays.

The Way It Is - David Robb, a 911 complaint writer at police headquarters, has come up with a poem relating to his work that is worth passing along.

12 - Pegs a-shaking

11 - Windows breaking

10 - Callers faking

9 - Burglars burgling

8 - Glue sniffers gurgling

7 - Gunners gunning

6 - Cars hit and running

5 - Obscene calls

4 - Dudes Loan sharking

3 - Doggies barking

2 - Cars double parking

And a stray cat in a pear tree.

I should ask Jason of Jason's Musing how well they stand the test of time. 

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9:58:16 PM EST
Hearing poe - trigger happy jack

My ass is dragging big time.  I haven't had my allotted caffeine and I think I am going to die.  Even though I have been meaning to cut my intake of Coke a Cola but I never meant for it to be cold turkey.  Not that I have tremors or anything like.  I'm just tired.  My whole body is tired.  I was so tired that I went to bed early yesterday.  Bed sounds real good right about now.  And it is so early for me. 

All right, this reminds me of a story.  Not the coke but the tremors thing.

When I was 16 I was in the hospital after having had surgery.  I was sharing a room and the women seemed very nice.  That is until she started going through with drawl from alcohol abuse.  I was allowed pain medication but hadn't needed it, but, that night I asked for some thinking it would help me sleep.  She was starting to settle down and I was laying there all comfy and cozy when suddenly...

CRASH!!!

She had thrown something against the wall, glass I'm guessing by the sound.  She then started screaming about little black things on the wall.  I was starting to think that pain meds were a bad idea.  This went on through the night. 

The problem was that they didn't have any beds in the detox wing.  In the morning I called my mother crying, I was 16, and told her what had happened that night.  As soon as the head nurse saw her she went right up to her and started to explain that they had no place to move either one of us and apologized profusely to her and then walked her to my room and apologized to me again.  She had come in earlier and that is why she was ready to cut my mother off.  She was mad that she had done that because she was all revved up to chew someone up and spit them out. 

I knew she would be mad, at the time, but now that I have a daughter, I understand how truly upset she was. 

DON'T MESS WITH MY BABY!

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7:55:08 PM EST
Hearing my laughter

Have you seen the new Coke commercial?  The one with the polar bear family watching the penguins party. 

Well, I happen to think these commercials can be confusing to kids.  In the wild the polar bears would be having a feast with all those yummy penguins.  Don't get me wrong, I love penguins.  I happen to think that they are one of Gods coolest animals.  But when kids watch these I wonder if they realize that in the real world, they are enemy's. 

Samantha and I were watching AFV when the this commercial came on.  I happen to think that the commercial is cute so of course I didn't say anything.  But I was thinking about how they would behave had it been real life when, Samantha says:

"Maybe if I give him some he won't eat me."

Out of the mouth of babes.  I was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes.  Samantha wanted to know what I was laughing at and once I had regained my composure I told her.  I sometimes forget how smart she really is, and that she reads a lot of animal books.  She probably knows more about animals than I do.  Which is saying a lot because I watch a lot of nature shows.  Then again she has watched a few with me. 

Maybe Santa will bring us 'March Of The Penguins' for Christmas.  Crossing fingers.

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9:41:58 PM EST
Hearing france joli - come to me

This morning I made my way to the post office.  It was very cold and the wind was right in my face on the way there.  I thought my poor eyeballs were going to freeze.  They can freeze you know. 

When I was 8 during the blizzard of '77 I lived in Buffalo.  We lived just blocks from Lake Erie.  Once everyone was safely home my mother and I ventured to the corner store.  It was two blocks away to stock up just in case we got buried in.  Just the necessities.  My left eye froze shut.  It defrosted and I still have no ill effects of that freezing storm.  Just a cool story and I yes I bring it up anytime anyone talks about blizzards. 

But this isn't really about the cold.  It's about what I found when I got home. 

I walked in the door and my NACO was sitting in the corner.  Really!  She just sat there and stared intently on it.  I was little freaked at first.  The ending of the Blair Witch came to mind at first.  I walked over to find a centipede crawling in the courner.  Whew!  I figured even cats can have a little snack now and again and that way I wouldn't have to deal with it.  Yuck!

I thought there would be more to that story too.  I guess I'm just distracted a bit.  I just can't wait for Christmas to be over.  Why?  Because my birthday is after New Year's.  No matter how old I get I love my birthday. 

I'm also distracted because I need to go shopping.  I only have 3 tea bags left.  My kingdom for some Coke (the kind you drink silly).  Still have one roll of toilet paper left.  And if I don't get some chocolate soon somebody is going to get hurt.  Which means I may be needing some other personal things as well. 

Worst of all, I haven't gotten one Christmas present yet.  Maybe that's why I'm not in the mood yet.  I normally get in the mood as I'm wrapping.  I love to wrap.  There's something very zen about wrapping. 

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8:55:30 PM EST
Hearing shania twain - if you wanna touch her, ask!

There is an actual name for this meal but I have a hard enough time pronouncing it let alone trying to figure out how it's spelled.  I tried calling my mother, it isn't even 8:30, but the old bat must have gone to bed already.  She would laugh at that so you can too.

I planned on taking a picture of it as soon as it was done cooking but I was over come with the smells of goodness and forgot in the rush to get some in my belly.  Don't worry, these left overs will be eaten.

The only thing missing is onions.  I used the last of them to make tuna fish.  I can't even remember the last time I ran out of onions.  I normally pick more up before I run out.  Which reminds me I have to get toilet paper.  One roll left.  Yikes!

I don't have an exact recipe and neither did my step monster when she taught it to me.  I will do my best to tell you how but understand your really on your own.  Cooking is most definitely not my strong suit.  For the longest time I didn't even know how to make hard boiled eggs. 

Peel and cut potatoes like your making fried potatoes (we call them hash browns).  Fry potatoes till almost done then add polish kiebalsha.  Cut kiebalsha in half length wise then slice.  To make it more kid friendly you could use hot dogs.  Now would be a good time to add some onions and green peppers. 

Samantha normally does the next part which happens to be her favorite.  It's the only time she doesn't get in trouble for breaking stuff. 

Take 4-6 eggs and beat with milk.  I add pepper, salt, crushed red pepper, parsley, and garlic to the egg mixture.  Once the meat is through cooked pour the egg mixture over mess and cook till egg is done. 

Normally I don't try recipes unless I have them written down but I have made this one so many times I know it by heart and it's real easy to make and even harder to mess up.  If you do try it you will have to let me know how it came out and what spices you used.  I should also mention that I use a pound package of kiebalsha, cut it into fourths, and I save one fourth for a snack.  I really love kielbasha and horse radish.  That is if it's just me and Samantha cause she puts all the kiebalsha on my plate anyway. 

If Samantha wants to give me a hard time about eating it I let her add ketchup.  I think it ruins it but as long as she eats it I guess I shouldn't complain. 

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11:45:37 AM EST
Hearing weird al - amish paradise

One of my favorite sites happens to be Post Secret.  The American Rejects even wrote a song called 'my dirty little secret' and in the video they use some of the post cards from the site.  They have permission so don't worry. 

Every Sunday there are new post cards posted that people like you and me have sent in with deepest darkest secrets.  The site use to be a couple of pages but now it's only one page and you have to go special pages to see past cards.  Popularity will do that. 

It's still one of my favorites.  Now you can post one card if you leave a link to their site which is what I am going to do.  Not just for you though, some of the cards I don't want to forget.  I'm not trying to tell you my secrets by showing this card it just happens to be the one that really stuck with me.  He actually posted last night and when I re looked this morning the one I remembered most was the one here:

There are some dark secrets but there are also some happy ones.  Why is that a secret? Because your not supposed to be happy about some things.  Enjoy. 

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10:31:08 PM EST
Hearing black eyed peas - where is the love?

Remember how I ruined Easter?  Now I don't feel so bad. 

I was watching 'Everybody Hates Chris' and the father was trying to make the little girl feel better about finding out there was no Santa and instead, he ruined Easter and the Tooth Fairy.  I swear we're related. 

I sometimes wonder what the point is in letting them believe?  At some point they find out the truth and are just crushed by it. 

Samantha still believes but I will be surprised if she still believes next year.  I'll be surprised if she continues to believe up to Christmas. 

I'm not a complete bah hum bug though.  We were waiting for a cab at Walmart the other night and a man wearing a long coat with a Santa hat who happen to look so much like the jolly man himself I might have believed he was.  I pointed him out to Samantha and told her that he must have been checking up on her.  She just watched after him in awe.  Maybe that's why we want them to believe. 

I'm sure she got a good report because she was helping ring the bell for the Salvation Army. 

 

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9:53:21 PM EST
Hearing concrete blonde - jenny i read

Have you ever sat and watched Cartoon Network.  When Samantha was of age to start picking and choosing what she wanted to watch she started watching this station.  After seeing some not so nice cartoons and things that were geared for older kids I turned it off.  Cartoon Network was banned. 

However, I don't have much of a say at my mom's or when she's at a friend's house.  You can't control everything and she doesn't watch all that much anyway.  We only have one television. 

Today I happen to walk in as she was watching a new station.  Boomerang.  It's part of Cartoon Network but it has the cartoons that I watched when I was a kid.  Hanna Barbara, you remember them?  I saw Underdog and quoted his montra, Have no fear, Underdog is here!  She turned around and gave me a look like I was psychic or something.  I had to explain that I watched these same cartoons when I was little. 

I also got another look when I told her to take a bath because she had school tomorrow.  Not having school on a Friday always throws me off.  I thought it was weird that Saturday Night Live didn't record.

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