An Apple a Day

  Hi Everybody, Here are some jokes that gave me a good laugh. Hope they will give you a laugh too.   As an old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.   Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Fred, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 94. Please be careful!"   "It's not just one car," said Fred, "It's hundreds of them!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   A guy hears a knock at his door. When he answers it, there’s nobody there, but there’s a snail on the welcome mat. Frustrated, the guy picks up the snail and hurls it into the street.   Five years go by, and there’s another knock at the door. The man answers it, and again there’s no one standing there, but there’s a snail on the welcome mat.   The snail looks up and says, “What  was that all about?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard.   As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.   The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."   After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through.   This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.   She was getting nervous, and decided to pay very close attention.   At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through it.   She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"   Mildred turned to her and said,
"Oh my goodness! Am I driving?

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this

• #5 Comment from tendernoggle 
  11/2/05 11:21 PM | Permalink

  I loved these!!! lol
  carlene
• #4 Comment from jckfrstross 
  11/2/05 3:57 PM | Permalink

  LOL good jokes love them
  
  Deb
• #3 Comment from jamcs605 
  9/27/05 12:56 AM | Permalink

  I had a good laugh at your jokes, especially the last one...nice of you to post them to cheer up my day.
• #2 Comment from judypearllove 
  8/29/05 5:35 AM | Permalink

  I JUST FOUND YOU FROM DAD. YOUR JOURNAL SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT YOU AND YOU CAN TELL THAT YOU ARE FROM YOUR DEAR OLE DAD. I LOVE YOUR JOURNAL AND ALL OF YOUR DAD'S. I WISH WE HAD COMPUTERS AND J-LAND FOR MY DAD AND THAT I COULD HAVE THE THINGS HE WROTE. HE DIED IN MY 20'S BUT RASIED ME ALONE FOR MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS 8. HE WAS SUCH A HAPPY MAN MY DEAR OLE DAD. YOUR FATHERS PAGE DEDICATED TO YOUR MOTHER TOUCHED ME SO FOR MY HUSBAND AND GRANDBABY WAS KILLED IN A FAMILY AUTO ACCIDENT 6 YRS AGO. I HAVE HAD SO MUCH FUN HERE VISITNG YOU AND YOUR DAD. PLEASE COME FOR A FUN VISIT
  http://journals.aol.com/judypearllove/ToBlessedToBeStressed/
  AND
  http://journals.aol.com/judypearllove/MomentsofJudyPearl/
  
  I'M GROWING TOMATOES AND AM GOING TO TRY YOUR DAD'S RECIPE FOR THEM TOMORROW MY FIRST DAY OF VACATION. I'VE NEVER USED THE EGG FIRST SO I' CAN'T WAIT. I'M STARTING MY VACATION WITH A MASSAGE AND YOUR DAD'S FRIED GREEN TOMATOES. LOL YOU ARE VERY BLESSED TO HAVE YOUR DAD FOR SO LONG LOVE JUDY I WILL BE BACK
• #1 Comment from madcobug 
  8/6/05 6:11 PM | Permalink

  Cute jokes LOL. Have a good night along with Dad & Princess. Helen