The Woman in The Glass Box

11:19:23 PM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Decisiones  

Ahhh, Monday...

Seems as if everybody hates Mondays...

except me...

I wish I was among all those busy people

who are returning to work today...    

This fairy is so blessed

to be among the flowers...

I wish I had a little garden to sit in...  

I don't know of any garden in town

where I can just go

and enjoy the flowers...    

Every time I drive in my car,

I look for a garden...

but I have yet to find one...  

 Even the parks are bare...    

 

On Saturday,

I took a few cans from my humble pantry

 and I donated them

to thecommunity food drive...

I love doing "little acts of kindness,"

no matter how humble...    

 

My daughters called me on Mothers Day.

Makes me happy. =.)    

I had bought a pair of shoes

for my grandson  

when I was working...

I was shocked at the cost of postage

to send them,

but someone else had to wear my grandaughter Mira's little dress...

and I just didn't have the heart

for that to happen to my grandson's shoes...

 so I sent them in faith

that God will continue to provide...    

My daughter says

that my grandson was so excited

when he got the shoes...

They are Cars shoes

that light up

when he runs

and walks...  

My daughter says

the shoes are still too big for him...  

but he insists on wearing them

because he loves them so much...

Now, my grandson has his first

pair of light up shoes...

just like Nana's...

lol

  

I was surprised

that he is talking already...

His voice sounds so much

like my grandaughter's

that it is hard to tell them apart

on the telephone...    

And yes...

as usual,

little Bella asks:

When are you coming, Nana?    

 

Aww, I wish I could hug them...    

 

... One good thing that happened today

  is that I got recieved an email

 to file an application...

I think it is kind of stupid

 because when I responded to the job order,

all they wanted was a cover letter and a resume

to be faxed...

But who knows

why people do the things they do...

The problem is that the MicroSoft Word

on my computer

has expired,

and it costs $300 to get an update,

so I will need to go

to the employment office

tomorrow

to review the application

and fill it out...  

Tags: !winivere-GardenFairy, !winivere-MagicShoes F.Y.I.~ Tags made by Winivere are snaggable and sharable...

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6:07:29 PM CDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing Indiana Jones

 

Here are a couple of more Mother tags... I didn't want to add "Happy Mothers Day" to my tags, because this way, they can be used any day of the year...

Wishing everyone a Happy Mothers Day... I will be taking a day of rest tomorrow... I hope you will, too...

Tags: !winivere-MotherTags

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10:02:00 PM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Pecados Ajenos       I tried to make this tag transparent, but it didn't look right when it became animated, so I made one with a black background and one with a white background.       I know that it is only TV, but there are actually people on this earth who do evil things to make people stumble and fall so they can get what they want... Amazing...     I see no reason to force someone to be with me if they do not want to be with me... I have no problem being happy for someone who has done well... I have no problem doing something good for someone without expecting anything in return...     I may not be very tall, but at least I can walk tall, knowing I am a good person...  Excellent quote by Sofia Loren... Had to use it...    xx      
Tags: !winivere-WalkTall-SofiaLoren

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10:50:37 AM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing rumbling of my stomach (lol)    

OMGG @ how did Friday get here already?!

This week flew by!

 

Mothers Day is Sunday... I really should have made some mothers day tags this week... I guess I was too focused and stressed over the job hunt...

 

I didn't participate in this week's tube challenge... again, because of the time I spent on the job hunt... I have not seen any new scrap kits or tubes come in this week... I guess they are running behind.

 

I continue to be frustrated over this job hunt... I am so tired of doing it... The newspapers are bare, and I have already applied to everything there is in the Work In Texas, so there is nothing to match me with... unless if some new job orders show up next week... Grrr @ people should call me for interviews already... It just seems like a dead-end week when there are no interviews.

 

Changing the subject... I have been thinking about weight-loss, which is the main purpose of this journal (by the way)... LOL @ some people forget, because LIFE continues to take me in different DIRECTIONS... or they tell me to just accept my weight because I am already beautiful on the inside, which is just as frustrating, because I really would prefer some support towards losing the unwanted extra weight...

 

Just eating less and exercising is easy enough for someone in their youth, but as you get older, it is harder to lose the weight and exercise has been hard for me since the last fall... Even something as simple as walking has become too painful... Plus, I am having to re-train my way of thinking about FOOD and so I continue with the baby steps...

 

Rule 1: Drink enough fluids... I do very good at this... Sometimes, I can drink 2 quarts in

one sitting... which is probably not a good thing, but it gets so scorching hot here that sometimes, it is necessary. lol... Temperatures are up to 102 degrees with lots of humidity... and sometimes wind, which makes you wonder why you even bothered to fix your hair in the morning... And then, there are days when there is no breeze at all... It is hard to say which days are the worst...

 

It has been so hot that even getting up early in the morning is too hot...

 

Rule 2: Stop eating by 7 p.m... This has been a very hard thing for me to do, but I am happy to report that I have turned this rule into a habit! Hooray at all those extra calories after 7 p.m. that are no more... I do not know if I have lost any weight since I accomplished this task, but I am happy that it has become automatic...

 

Rule 3: Plan your meals and write them down on paper...This rule has been a bit frustrating... mostly because I am unemployed and I do not get food stamps... I have to buy whatever is economical so it has been difficult to add variety. Therefore, I do not think I am ready for that rule yet... and so, I will change it...

 

Rule 3: Take at least 20 minutes to eat, chew, and really enjoy my meal... There are many times when I do not remember what I ate because I ate too fast... Food is good... The meals that I prepare are delicious... Therefore,they should be memorable...

Rule 4: Learn the Salutation to the Sun. I don't know if I will be able to physically perform these yoga poses... especially the parts where you come down and extend the legs, but I have always wanted to learn this...

 

I think it is always a good idea to exercise in the morning, because you get it out of the way, but when you have to work, exercising in the morning will add sweat to your hair or it will take too much time from getting ready for work...

 

The Salutation to the Sun is a good way to start out the morning, because it is almost like prayer or meditation... That means that it is relaxing, it grounds you, and it prepares you to focus on the day ahead... And once I learn it, it will only take a few minutes to do it! That means that it will be easy to start the morning with exercise and get be ready for work on time or whatever I have planned to do that day...

 

AND SO... the next "mind trick" I will be working on are to accomplish Rules 3 & 4... No need to rush to accomplish them... The idea is to be able to do them without thinking so that they can become an automatic part of my life... 

 

Tags: !winivere-EnJOYingMyFOOD, SalutationToTheSun, !winivere-FridayVenusGoddessOfLove

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10:08:05 AM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing The View... bird convention outside? LOL... all the birds are chirping really loud this a.m.   Just dropping off another tag before I go out into the cruel world for another day of Job Hunting...  

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9:59:42 AM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing birds chirping, fan blowing air at my face, Tidbit making noise in her cage, lawnmower outside

Here we are again in the middle of the week... I know I should be happy, but that means there are only three days left in the week for the job hunt...

I sent my application off for Summer Camp yesterday... I do not know if I will be able to go, but at least my application is in... just in case...

I have a couple of applications to work on... One that requires quite a bit of legwork to obtain all the documents that they need... I guess that one is the one that has me feeling anxious, because I still need stuff to add to it before I can mail it off... And the other will require some mileage for me to return it to Human Resources in a town that is somewhat far away...

The first application requires a copy of my transcript with the University seal on it... so I spent the entire morning yesterday, fighting with the University.

The person who evaluated my transcripts never listed what my degree is in. She listed it as a Bachelor of Science degree in "Unavailable."  The information was right there. I have no idea why she didn't add it... I tried to correct it years ago, but they just brushed me off... This time, I had to get it changed for that application... But the people at the Registrar send me to the office for New Students... It was clearly going to be a day of getting tossed around from one office to the next...

When I got to the New Students office, I repeated my story...

"Well, ma'am," the young gay boy said, "your records are in storage... There is nothing we can do..."

So I said: What if I bring the copy of my transcript? Will you be able to change it?!

"Well, ma'am, we could look at it, but only Steve would be able to see if he can change it..."

So I walk back to my car to see if I have copies on hand... I do, so I walk back into the building and head to the New Students office... I hand my transcripts to the young boy, pointing out to him that they were evaluated by someone on their campus... The boy takes the transcripts to Steve's office... (I know I probably sound angry in all this, but I was actually very collected and very nice to the boy.)

I was surprised that I was not even allowed in the room with "Steve." I could see him looking at it and holding my transcripts up to the light... OMGG... I am still in shock to see him do that... as if he might not have believed that the transcripts were real...

So I was still standing there, waiting... Two college girls walk in and have to stand behind me and wait, too...

Tic Toc... Tic Toc... It was almost like watching Jeopardy...

The young boy, who was born in the year that I graduated from college, comes out of Steve's office and returns my transcripts back to me... He said that Steve was able to change it and that I could go back to Registrar to get my new copies...

So I go back to the Registrar, but the lines were long...

There was a young man in front of me... He was very tall and had a nicely stacked body and good legs. LOL... Sorry... couldn't help but notice... I did make a comment to him about his shirt... It was a cute T-Shirt with one of those video games on it, but I think it was the way it fit that made me notice how great that shirt was... All I can say is that it was worth the wait...

If I had been thirty years younger and thirty years cuter, that young man's virtue might have been in trouble... LOL...

And YES... I was able to get copies of the corrected transcript with the University seal...

Oh, the ramblings of a "how old am I now?!#" woman! Can't help but wonder if this is how men think... It is a possibility that those two young men might have been the same age, but their bodies made them look very different... It's funny that how a person looks can make you have very different opinions about them...

The little gay boy looked like a boy because his body had little or no form... but the young man with the T-Shirt was heavier, had a broad chest and nice limbs which made him look more like a man... 

Is that how men see us? 

Why do men think that all women are attracted to men who are skinny? 

I like a man who looks like a man... 

In our minds, women have been programmed to believe that men prefer the skinny or petite girls... Maybe it is because someone who is petite looks as if she needs someone to take care of her... Maybe she looks more submissive... Who knows the reasons behind it...

But even when I weighed 92 lbs., I never looked skinny. My body had too many curves...

Ahhh... once was a time when over-eating was not a problem at all... Life was good and there were little or no lemons in my life that I couldn't sort through... Perhaps it is because this job hunt has dragged on way longer than I want that is making life feel more intense... Perhaps God is being a little more selective about what kind of job I will do next...

Beneath this overweight body is an hourglass figure with a tiny waistline... I know wishing won't get it back... Just focusing on losing weight is one thing, but when you are stressed because you do not know from one moment to the next how you are going to pay your bills, all you can focus on is the job hunt... 

One of my greatest fears is running out of food... I suppose that is, because there were many times in my role as a parent when I had to go hungry so that my children could eat... I think that fear is at its strongest when I am without employment...

This weekend, I did something that Nate Berkus would have a cow about... I made myself a mini-pantry by putting up a shelf on the side of the refrigerator... I know it is probably a decorator's taboo, especially since the only shelving I have is plastic (lol), but it makes me aware of the food that I have available to eat, it forces me to use the older items, items are easier to find because they are not in the dark of a cabinet, and it frees one cabinet so that I have more room to store kitchen items ... It is a humble pantry, but looking at it makes me realize that I do have food in my kitchen... I hope this little trick I have played for my mind will help to make it a little more conscious so I can fight through this  fear ... Oh, I also left a space to put my bills, added my recipe box and cookbooks and a picture of Grandmother in her kitchen...

One good thing is that I have been faithful to stop eating by 7 p.m... 

When it comes to weight-loss, reprogramming my mind while I am under stress is a big challenge, but that is the time when I have to focus on the little steps... It is important to turn them into a habit so they can become so automatic that I do them without thought. Yes, that is what it will take to get me there...

   

When LIFE hands you LEMONS,

Open a LEMONADE stand!

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7:33:14 PM CDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing La Traicion

  

Poor little doggie! I can almost hear him saying:

What about me?!

Don't leave me!...

As you know, I have a friend who says he is psychic... When all this mess started, he told me that the reason why I am going through this is because of some guy that I brushed off...

For a long time, I have wondered about this... What guy?!

At first, I just wasn't ready, because I was still thinking about the guy who had the potential to make me happy but had big problems leaving the bottle... I have no idea what happened to him... I left him ten years ago...

Then, there was the big guy with the gorgeous body who had a wandering eye and nothing in his pants...

And then, there was David...

David was ok... He is a single parent... He is a high school graduate... He doesn't make much money and he is always losing his job... He lives a simple life with his son...

It might intimidate him to know that I make more money than him... It might intimidate him to know I have a college degree... But if any of that mattered, I don't think he would have sought me out.....

David seemed as if he wanted me to be his girlfriend... But the thing that turned me off is that it seemed as if he just wanted me for sex... There is nothing wrong with having a good sex life... Personally, I prefer a man who has a healthy sexual appetite, but it was as if he did not know what else he could do with a woman besides sex. I want to be appreciated for who I am... I want a man who really knows me... Why is it so hard for men to do that?!

The last time I spoke with David, he seemed very angry... I know it was his hurt feelings talking... because I broke his heart when I told him that I did not want to be with him... It wasn't that I did not want to be with him... It was that I failed to explain myself further...

But if it is God's will, we will meet again... and if not... perhaps there is someone else that I have yet to meet...

Today, I had two men flirt with me, and they were cute, too... That is a good sign that maybe the change in hair color is not as bad as I thought... I thought my hair was going to be brown, but it looks red...

I wish those men had given me their phone numbers instead of the toothless man I met last week... Too bad a woman can't run up to a man and ask him for his phone number... OMGGG... Did I say that outloud?! LOL.....

Tags: !winivere-DontLeaveMe, !winivere-FollowTheSun

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7:06:45 AM CDT
Feeling Anxious
Hearing Sounds as if I am watching the BIRDS movie. lol... The birds are all chirping at once!

                    

Well, I guess I did good to make a bunch of tags last week, because it gave me a little break... but it looks as if I will need to get busy and make some more. LOL...

I was looking for a new pair of pants at Stein Mart last Saturday... When I looked up, an unexpected mirror forced my reflection to tell me the truth... Shocking... The woman in the mirror looks so heavy and so tired.... My eyes no longer have that sparkle... They just look so tired... The new styles in the store were so pretty but they are not made for this kind of body...

Too bad that picture of reality doesn't stop me from over-eating!!!! OMGGGGG... What will it take? What will it take?!# I wish my body looked like the girl in this tag... except with bigger boobies, of course! LOL... Oh, gravity is not my friend....

There was a woman in the store who was very heavy... but she was wearing a top with slits that revealed her big arms... I was surprised that she was not afraid to show off her big body... and she actually seemed to be enjoying shopping for clothes for herself...

Then, some people that she knew stopped her and asked her if she had lost weight... It is hard to imagine what she must have looked like before... The woman told them that she had paid $65,000 to get some plastic surgery done in Mexico... She said that she got inplants in her breasts, lipo in her chin and in her arms... 

Wow @ that is a lot of money. How long would it take me to save that?!# OMGG... Even $5,000 sounds like a lot of money to save... Wouldn't I rather have a car?? And at $65,000, isn't that more like the price for a house?!... And she says she is going to go back to get her tummy done... How do these people get so much money?! How? I want to know how!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, back to the mirror... I was SHOCKED at the way my hair looked... The blonde hair looked more like calico hair... And with this awful humidity, my hair just lies there... What happened to my hair?! What happened to the oomph? My hair has always been my crowning glory... so full of life... like the bedroom hair you see in commercials... OMGG... what happened to it?!!!!! 

And so, the drastic change... I am now a brunette... I know... shocking... 

Maybe after a few shampoos, my hair will look better... maybe... just maybe... Crossing fingers... LOL... What I really need is to see my hairdresser in Corpus Christi... The people in the Valley do not know how to cut curly hair... She is much older now, so I wonder if she still cuts hair... Maybe I will give her a call this week to find out...

Hummm... another thing to put on the list for President Bush's check... I hope it is a big check! LOL

1. Flowers

2. Chocolate

3. Fan

4. Haircut

So sorry for the attack on myself... My horoscope says this:

Dramatic reactions of delight and dejection can push you to extremes. What you like might not be as great as you think it is and whatever turns you off is probably not that terrible either.

I sure hope it is right about what turns me off might not be that terrible. lol

I am putting some big trust in the Lord by spending the money for a new pair of pants, but I only have one pair of work pants, so I really need an extra pair...

It was hard to find a pair of pants in the store, because even though the pants were at a bargain price, all of the pants that I liked were very expensive... I was surprised to find this pair at 1/4 the cost of all the other pants I saw... They are not pretty and the material is not that great... The pants are very basic... no pockets or anything fancy except that they have a tummy panel in the front that is supposed to make your tummy flat... Yeah, right! We'll see what they do for this tummy... LOL...

Still need to hem them up so I can wear them this week...

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8:49:03 AM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing birds, birds, more birds (lol)

   

This is one of the tags that I made for the tube challenge, but I did not submit it, because they put  a limit on the tags to submit... I didn't submit this one, because I was afraid someone might be offended by the male angel's butt... Personally, his butt does NOT offend me AT ALL!!!!! lol

Out of all the tags I made for this challenge, this is my favorite and the one with the Mother Duck...

Yesterday was another sweaty day... OMG @ all this heat and all this humidity! And it is not even summer yet... I don't even remember how many cold showers I took yesterday... Even when it gets cold, the cold only stays for a few hours or a few days... Since I have lived in the Valley, I have never worn a coat... I know I should be grateful not to have dreadful winters, but living here is like living right smack in the middle of the equator!...

I am a girly girl... I like to dress cute... Hot, humid, Valley weather is more for slutty or sloppy... Grrrrrrrrrrr @ that may be okay for people who do not work, but I have to work!!!!!! For me, heaven on earth would be to have cool weather all year around. (smile)... Oh, and lots of chocolate that will not make you fat. (ha! ha!)

When that check from President Bush shows up, I am going to have to buy another fan!! LOL @ how long is my list already for that rebate check?!#

There is an empty corner in my apartment now... I started out yesterday morning with a cold shower... Then, I got out my "To Do" list and started out the day by packing my car... After that, I had to come back into my apartment and take another shower and I got dressed in blue with my pretty red wedges... LOL @ I was wearing blue on a Saturday...

My "To Do" list was long... and most of it had to do with making payments... I wish I didn't have to give that money away for bills, but I had to pay the rent and my storage before they add late charges... and the water... and my car insurance... (which by the way, I didn't pay for last month! Me bad...) I do not have the light bill or the phone bill yet... so I couldn't pay those... It is sad to see my savings go down, down, down...

Then, I went downtown...

Last year, I had planned to donate my old computer to my friend's church, but Marty told me that they had enough computers already... So my old computer sat on the floor for almost a year...

Last week, I stumbled a list of community activities when I was reading the newspaper... There was a local agency that was looking for computer donations... OMGG @ I was so excited to find a new home for my old computer!

When I got to the place, I didn't have a quarter for the meter! I had to ask them if they had a quarter... Still a quarter is quite a bargain if you are going to get a computer for it! The woman was ever so grateful to get my old computer and printer...

She showed me around the activity center... and although they had plenty of room, there was very little in the building... It made me very sad to see that my old computer is the only computer they have... I wished I could do more, but I am so excited that my old computer will have a new life and a new job!... He will be helping others to learn how to use a computer!...

I will need to look around to see if there are more things that I can donate to the agency...

Also, Sharable Wearables is asking for clothes again... I do not know why they ask for clothes in May... It would be so much better for them to ask for clothes in the summer, because that is when the kids are looking for school clothes... but well, that is just my opinion... Who knows why they look for clothes in May...

We had a short PSP lesson yesterday, but I didn't write things down, so I don't remember what I did...  I made a gypsy in the clouds, but I am awfully tired of those cartoon drawings so I may end up using something else, if I decide to post it in my journal...

LOL @ I found an old tag with Patrick. (smile)

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5:59:18 PM CDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing birds, birds, birds... There are birds EVERYWHERE!

               

I must have Patrick Swayze on my mind, because this is the second tag that I make this week that has him in it! With all the health problems he is having lately, it is a good thing to think about him and send him happy thoughts for all the happy times that he brought to us through his work... I love you, Patrick...

Yesterday, I had an awful time with AOL... I had to open another account just to get in...

I  thought I was going to have to start a brand new diary, because I didn't have access to write in TheGlassBox...

And then, I discovered that I had two open accounts and was going to be charged for two accounts... It took six hours of being online, trying to resolve the problem so that I could come back to this account...

Thank God the mess was resolved in time for me to go to my interview yesterday!

Tags: !winivere-Ditto!, !winivere-MarilynVsPSP

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