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12:32:00 AM EST
Feeling Sad
Hearing The Sound of Silence
A Victum of Reality
As I unlock my door and step into my apartment, I’m greeted with the wagging nubbin of my boxer, Appollo. I put my things down (I always end up having my arms full some how, lol) and pet the excited puppy dog, praising him for not chewing up my bedpost or leaving a calling card on the carpet. After Appollo is walked and back inside, I feel the quietness of the apartment start to creep in.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
What exactly is in my future? Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life? My recent bouts with men have turned up foul results, leaving them on a some-what permanent black-list. I mean really, to have some one who was to suppose to love me forever go and do the mean, cruel things that he did and then having a different man, whom I thought was a decent man go and do what HE did……I just have to say my faith in any man at this point is NOT very high.
If I died in my apartment, who would know? Who would care? I could be dead for days until anyone bothered to knock on my door or call my cell phone. For the first time in my life, I am truly alone. I’ll slowly begin to simply fade away into non-existance, becoming “what’s her name that use to…….”, living alone with my dog as my only companion.
Yep, you could say that right now, I’m being a bit pessimistic. I am usually optimistic, however that’s not paying the bills! And it’s hard to be positive when you can’t afford to put gas in your tank or do your laundry.
Written by wndrwmn28 Blog about this entry |
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Hello, as you find yourself reading this reply, notice what it's like when you realize that you are not alone. How surprised would you be if I were to tell you that I have asked myself the questions you have mentioned? What exactly is my future, and AM I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
I still have not answered those questions to my satisfaction(YET), and I invite you to notice that I am not a quitter. Neither are you. As you ponder your recent negative experiences with men, you will realize that there is someone out there who will not mistreat you and betray your trust. I have had some prior experiences with the opposite gender to the point where I had foul results. So, in a way I can identify with what you are going through. And I understand how skeptical you feel right now. Believe me, I know about feeling skeptical.
And I invite you to notice that I have also asked myself the other questions you brought up: If I died in my apartment, who would know? who would care? It is a scary feeling being alone to the point where the future seems so uncertain and scary. I admit to being a bit pessimistic myself, and it is tough being positive at times. A person can rise above uncertainty and the many obstacles that are encountered throughout one's life, and have a much better outlook on life. wndrwmn28, you will prevail as you understand how fine a person you are with alot to offer, and I consider you ONE TERRIFIC WONDER WOMAN.
A pity we can't correspond somehow, and I wish you well. Hang in there, WONDER WOMAN.
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I know how you feel. I used to live all by myself and only had my pet for company. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but eventually you'll feel like meeting other people and things will get better. Speaking as someone who has made it through something similar I know I'm a better person for it. The trick is not to give up and not to lose your faith in humanity. People can do some rotten things, but it strengthens our character when we rise above it and not let them pull us down to their level. Sorry if this has rambled a bit, but I guess I just wanted you to know that there was someone else out here who has felt the same as you. Take care and stay strong.
Tom -
Let your faith guide you and don't give up. You are truly a "Wonder Woman" and any man should feel blessed to receive your love. And please remember all of your adoring fans. Take care.
11/13/06 12:29 AM