Smober

I started smoking when I was only 13 years old.  Shameful, shameful!  I succumbed to peer pressure and smoking for 15 years until I was 28 years old.  I started having chest pains and it scared me into quitting.  I stopped smoking for 6 years.  Gained a little weight, which was good FOR ME....grew my nails again, and I felt overall healthier.  The chest pains went away for good.  Then at 34, we started having financial problems, the business was struggling on a constant basis.  I started to be stressed and depressed and I ran right back to smoking.  The really really stupid part is that it didn't help with the stress or the depression at all...I just became addicted to the nicotine again.  So I had not made my problems better by smoking again, only worse.  And I have been a closet smoker, not smoking around my children or most any other non smokers except my husband for these last 3 years.  Recently, well for the last say 9 months, I have been having chest pains again.  I can feel a dull ache in the lower portion of my right lung in the front and in the back.  I know that the lungs can heal themselves pretty quickly after quitting, I hope there is not already too much damage.  I plan to get a checkup soon as well. 

My dad died of lung cancer in Dec. 2005.  I watched him die a horrible death.  Believe ME, I do NOT want lung cancer.  Although, he was a heavy drinker as well and that seems to make the cancer spread much quicker....it is a painful way to die whether you drink or not. 

Last night, I smoked my last cigarette.  It was the last one in my pack.  My husband asked me if I wanted him to go and get me some and I told him no, that I was going to quit.  He just looked at me of course, he is a non-smoker so he doesn't really understand but I think he will be supportive.

So, here are my reasons for quitting:

1) Because I'm having chest pains and I'm worried that it might be cancer or could become cancer. 

2) Because I want to be around to see my grandchildren someday.

3) I don't want to smell like cigarettes anymore.(This is a biggy for me)

4) I don't want to look stupid anymore because puffing on cigarettes really does look stupid, in my opinion, that is why I hid to do it, lol.

5) I don't want tobacco smoke to stain my teeth anymore than italready has.

6) I want to actually breathe better.

7) I want more energy.

8) I want to smell and taste my food better.

9) I want healthier skin.

10)  I want the Carbon Monoxide OUT of my body.

11)  I want all the chemicals from cigarettes, OUT of my body.

12) I HATE smoking and have never understood why I did it anyway!!!!

13) I don't want to have to worry about when my next smoke will be anymore.  I will have to watch the triggers, like after dinner.  With my morning coffee....etc.

14) I will have extra money.  I actually downloaded a program called Quitkeeper that documents your quit time, days quit, cigarettes not smoked, MONEY SAVED, and life saved.

   My results as of right now, Monday, February 19, at 10 am are:

   I have been quit for 13 hours, 41 minutes and 41 seconds (0 days). I have saved $2.13 by not smoking 11 cigarettes. I have saved 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 2/18/2007 8:11 PM

15)  I don't want to cough anymore.

16)  I don't want to die a horrible painful death like my father did.

17)  I could use an extra few pounds but will have to incorporate an exercise program so that I don't gain it too fast and in the wrong places....eww. The weight gain is not usually an issue with quitters as most people only gain less than 10 lbs.  I am really thin so will probably gain more. The last time I quit, I gained 20lbs and was able to wear women's clothes...there's another reason....

18)  I will be able to wear adult clothing again. How about that?

I'm sure there are other reasons and I will add them as I think of them.  And this journal will help me to keep focused on quitting.  I RESOLVE here and now to never and I mean NEVER smoke again.  I think the whole "key" to quitting is mindset...you have to convince yourself that you will NOT smoke.  That's how I did it last time and it worked.

I will be posted sometimes disturbing facts, health issues concerning smoking, links, whatever I can find to help me along my way.

Thanks for coming along with me as I track my progress.  If you want to quit too, make your own journal like this one and we'll do it together.

I will not be using any medications or smoking cessation programs, just cold turkey and changing my mindset towards smoking.  Oh and I am thinking of started breathing exercises everyday. I will post more info on that too. 

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• #1 Comment from thisismis72 
  2/20/07 9:45 AM | Permalink

  good luck to you girl, this may be the hardest thing you have done, but it is so worth it, keep it up and you too can be a qiutter, lol
  MISSY