The Gag Order

Very heart wrenching news from a friend...

She is now dealing with the horror of possibly having the worst kind of skin cancer, melanoma.

With a family history, it makes it even more probable that she is, indeed, facing an issue of this sort.

Not the most common of skin cancers, but the most dangerous.

And what makes it all worse, is that she is young.  And healthy.  And working toward a goal of being even healthier.  And has small children, one with special needs.  Although no one deserves to face/have cancer of any kind, it really makes you wonder why young, healthy people, who live a good, clean, lifestyle can get something like this.

Just goes to show that none of us are immune to that monstrous "C".  None of us.

B, I know when I had to deal with my own (lymphoma) diagnosis, which thankfully turned out to be a pseudo lymphoma, and not the real thing (that time, anyway) I functioned (during that time known as biopsy results wait), in a fog.  I looked things up on the Internet obsessively.  I researched the possible worst case scenarios, as well as the best.  I counted how old my children would be when they lost their mother (using the life expectancy in the worst case).  I cried.  I got angry.  I begged God to make it go away.  I wondered what I could possibly have done in my life that I should be punished for, in this way.   I asked the question, "How can this be happening to me?" over and over.

I spent almost two weeks like this.

Please, don't do this to yourself.  But, chances are, it is not even the "real thing".  And even if it is, your family history shows that it can be beat, when discovered early.  In fact, it is almost 100% CURABLE when found early.  By you having regular checks, it IS early.

And then all of the time and emotional energy you invest in the worry part, is simply time lost.

I know I would get so pissed off when someone would say this to me.  In retrospect, however, I realize they were right; and their words were spoken in love.

I know it is very hard to do.  But, please try to keep it out of the way of enjoying your kids, your man, your life.  I understand that it is a lonely place to be, with the possibility  of this horrid situation constantly on your mind.  How could it not be in the forefront of your mind, every minute of every day, right?

You were there for me when I had to face a battle with the Monster.  And I will be here for you.  Like SO many other people will.  You have impacted this community, in a positive way, for FOUR YEARS, girl.  Do you think we are going to let you down, now?

Ain't happenin'!

Love you, Boo and I am thinking about you everyday, hoping you can find a sliver of happiness in every waking moment.

"Head Up" young person!

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• #7 Comment from monicasmemoirs 
  5/2/08 12:18 AM | Permalink

  WoW, I'm so out of touch! I didn't realize Bridgett was facing this fear and I wouldn't have known it was her except for the comment she wrote below.  She will be in my prayers she has helped me through so much, there is no way I'm letting her down!
  
  Monica
• #6 Comment from helmswondermom 
  5/1/08 10:13 PM | Permalink

  I hate hearing this, but I'm hoping that the biopsy results are good.  Catching it early is certainly key, so my best wishes for her.
  Lori
  http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages/
• #5 Comment from cuteallison1980 
  5/1/08 9:45 PM | Permalink

  One sure does go through the gambit of emotions and thoughts and fears when faced with something like this.  It isn't easy that is for sure.  I do hope everything will work out ok for her and of course will keep going well for you in that catagory as well.  Hope you have a happy Friday.  Luv ya!
  
  Allison
• #4 Comment from bridgetteleigh75 
  5/1/08 1:31 PM | Permalink

  You really are in my head, aren't you?  :)
  
  Well, Jae, I cried reading this.  Haven't cried yet, but I cried reading this.  
  I'm really scared.  I haven't admitted that to my parents or Doug, but I'm really scared.  Mostly, because I NEVER want to leave my kids.  That's the whole reason I've started dieting and excercising...to be healthier so I can enjoy them more.  
  
  I know the likelyhood of me getting this cancer is high.  In fact, I expect it.  I guess I just never suspected it so soon.  Hopefully though...it's benign and I can quit worrying.  
  
  Well, that's a lie.  With a diagnosis like this hanging over my head, I'll never stop worrying...but maybe I'll be able to relax a little.  
  
  Anyway, I appreciate the person you are, Jae.
  
  Thanks for being you and for loving me for me.  
  
  Much Love,
  bridgett
  
  P.S.  I think we'll continue being there for each other...don't you?  ;)
• #3 Comment from piperacharmed1 
  5/1/08 12:12 PM | Permalink

  How sad...I am sending good thoughts her way.  
  
  Tracie