Outside In

Saturday, May 10, 2008 ,,, was my Graduation Day from Emerson College.  The ceremony was okay.  I was so glad to get that piece of paper.  The four years there was worth it.

Then, I had to contend with my dysfunctional family.  It was also Mother's Day.  I remember giving my mother a card, but she, my father, my brother John, and my sister Vera (my brother James couldn't make because of work) gave me a hard time about my not being able to pay for my college tuition.  They complained about that the whole weekend.  Very frustrating. 

I couldn't stand still for pictures because I wanted to go to the reception, and they were furious that I had to give my gown back right after I walked across the stage and received my degree in Theatre Arts and Radio Communications.  They should have told me before the ceremony that they wanted a picture of me wearing the gown.  I told them that they had several opportunities to take pictures of me before the ceremony, but they said they are supposed to photograph me after the ceremony and not before.

When I told them about the reception that Emerson was doing for the graduates which was a couple of blocks away at the Park Plaza Hotel which is a good place to take pictures, they demanded of me to stay still for pictures right there on the sidewalk in front of the Wang Center.  They were calling me "immature."  I got fed up and walked over to the reception.

It was a whole day and night of arguing over the stupidest things.  They accused me of not caring for their feelings.  I guess they didn't realize that Graduation Day was my day in the sun, not theirs.  They resented the fact that I made a major accomplishment.  They were not even thrilled that I had just gotten a job at a radio station after graduation.  They were more concerned about how much money I would be making at this job.  No utterance of "Congratulations for getting a new job, Yvonne" came from them.

I was so glad that I was able to move into an apartment in Boston the day after graduation.  There was no way in the world that I was going to move back home to Maryland where they are.  I don't have a reason to live with them in the same state.

I still feel that way today 22 years later.  I rather be here in Boston away from them.

The real sad fact is when I told them that I had Asperger's Syndrome they were disbelieving, despite the fact I had problems with socializing with people and career problems (that radio job turned into a career disaster: no salary for me and it went off the air a few months after I started there).  My mother cursed me out on the phone saying "Don't believe those doctors.  They don't know anything."

I said back, "Says the woman who married a dentist."

It took awhile for my father and my siblings to realize it.  My mother still doesn't believe it.  I shouldn't be surprised because she doesn't believe that  my nephew has ADHD and my niece (my nephew's younger sister) has Social Anxiety Disorder.  She rather calls us "crazy" than accept the fact that we have neurological disorders.

In case you're wondering, I did mail her a Mother's Day card this year.


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